


Your Bright Mind

by Shmeowzow



Series: Divine Pulse Theory [1]
Category: Fire Emblem Heroes, Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: F/F, F/M, Other, Post-Timeskip | War Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Pre-Timeskip | Academy Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-19 12:47:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 69,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22111105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shmeowzow/pseuds/Shmeowzow
Summary: Byleth has spent the last year leading, training, and bonding with the members of the Black Eagle House at Garreg Mach Monastery, when a surprising turn of events leads to an unavoidable tragedy. She must come to terms with her developing relationships to her students, and her own new, budding identity in the midst of an emerging enemy to all of Fòdlan.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Edelgard von Hresvelg, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/My Unit | Byleth, Jeritza von Hrym/My Unit | Byleth, Linhardt von Hevring & My Unit | Byleth, My Unit | Byleth/Hubert von Vestra
Series: Divine Pulse Theory [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1609060
Comments: 19
Kudos: 58





	1. Ethereal Moon

My lungs filled with the fresh, nighttime breeze blowing through every dark nook and corner of the Garreg Mach monastery grounds- now mostly empty of students and staff alike, but not simply because of the late hour; the annual, long awaited year-end ball was still well underway. Last I had seen, every eligible student was either dancing, or otherwise engaged with one or more of their peers. Even Professors Hanneman and Manuela had shared a waltz.

The exhaustion that drove me outdoors, to a little more peace and fresh air, had kicked in not long after Dorothea embarrassed her "fellow" dancers in the competition that had preceded the ball itself, yesterday...and in fact, had been ever-present since the Wyvern Moon began. My headaches were intensifying, I wasn't sleeping, and what was worse, was how difficult even eating had become due to sporadic episodes of rolling nausea. Taking a deep breath, I mindlessly strolled through the chapel doors, where a few guards and other faculty were present, praying, or doing busywork. I let my mind wander back to my class, and I listened to the calm falls of my footsteps on the solid marble flooring.

I had chosen Dorothea because I really did consider her a friend, and I wanted her to have as many options for a decent future as possible. Even if she chose not to pursue her dancing scholarship, she could gift it to anyone she so deemed fit- and that was a hell of a bargaining chip for marriage. Free dance instruction from the most illustrious University of arts in all of Fòdlan- funded of course, by the Church of Seiros- was no paultry consolation. Also, given her natural charisma and adept nurtured creative talents, I had known she would bring victory to her class- that's precisely the reason I elected her to represent the Black Eagle House when faced with that decision. I had spent plenty of one-on-one time with her leading up to the competition, enlisting the help of several other students, and even a few monastery watchmen; who were delighted for an excuse to be in the same vacinity as Dorothea, let alone be presented the opportunity to be her dance partner, however temporarily. Though as usual, she played hard to get, charmingly batting away their advances with skill and alure; that being said, it seemed to me she was "playing" hard to get less and less...I had my suspicions that her eyes were one someone more specific, now. I couldn't help being proud of her, and over again of all my students. My heart swelled up at the recent memory of their pact to reunite with me here, in five years, wherever our lives may take us in the meantime.

It was hard to believe they had become so attached to me in such perceivably small matter of time- but having lived a mostly solitary life with my father up to the past collection of moons, I was nearly overwhelmed with the idea that I could possibly build a family from those I had come to know here at Garreg Mach- a large, varied family, just like I had always fantasized about as a child. But there was no room for big families in the future of a mercenary, so until now, I had only entertained the thought in my daydreams. Dreams that just now seemed closer to me than ever in my memory. There had been time for fast friends, and fast lovers even, in the mostly solitary previous years of my life; though admittedly, I still enjoyed the latter when opportunity allowed, I knew for sure the former wasn't something I was interested in anymore.

The moonlight was crisp, highlighting the already magnificent structure that was the Goddess Tower. I felt a chill, higher up in in elevation now- having aimlessly wandered there throughout the chapel and outside again- It was the best view in the entire compound, and tonight was no different- besides, I'd been so caught up thinking about just how bright the future ahead of me was appearing to be. _Funny._ Usually when I got to thinking that things were going too right, they began to go too wrong; and my stomach did a flip at the thought. Before I could read too much in to the sudden paranoia, I began to notice a familiar warm sensation resting acutely on the back of my neck. The not-quite physical tingle I got just at the base of my upper spine, in that small expanse of skin where my neck met my shoulder blades, had become all too familiar in my passing year as a professor there, and I had come to understand it meant one thing, and only one thing- Hubert Von Vestra was watching me, which I didn't _always mind._ His presence here, tonight, only raised questions however. One of many being, how had he snuck up on me without my hearing the chapel doors budge?

The first few times I _felt_ his gaze, I had thought perhaps there were restless spirits following me around the monastery, breathing on my neck, vying for my attention, or help, or _whatever_ it was that spirits wanted from the living. I hadn't come to correctly associate my symptom to his cause until I had begun spending more time alone with him, in the form of private training sessions. It was an action born half of necessity- the only other student as naturally adept at weilding magic in my class was Linhardt, and he had been avoiding my pestering for private training to craft him into a more well-rounded defender for at least one moon. Before this most recent behavior, I considered him one of my most promising students- but his restless mind and resulting ineffective sleep schedule left me at a loss for how to coach him, sometimes. I needed to apply my talent to those who would put it to use, and I didn't have time to babysit his insomnia.

Hubert, despite his observable malfeasance, was no slouch in the classroom, or on the battlefield; in fact, he was blossoming into one of the most capable offensive magi I had ever seen. He, Dorothea, Edie, Petra, Lin, and to my surprise, Bernadetta, were all in the category of stars rising toward equally promising futures in my class, so I had been trying to divide my energy for more pointed lessons equally among them. Lin's sloth had definitely kicked Hubert into his time slot with enough frequency that I dared to assert I'd gotten to know the little spook better than any of his peers, with the gratuitous exception of Edelgard. He was her everloving toadie, above all else; it was one of the only things I found that I truly disliked about him. In my experience, the only humans able to build a life devoted so wholly to someone, or something else, were missing something very important within themselves. Perhaps that's why I tolerated it enough to let it intrigue me- I wanted to find out what was missing. I would never be able to help him overcome his greatest weakness without better defining its cause.

I crossed my arms over one another and called out into the darkness, without turning around, "Is there a spook watching me, I wonder?"

Hubert knew I had come to recognize the sensation of his gaze, though it frustrated him to no end. He told me so one eerie, overcast evening, over cinnamon tea in the courtyard. I'd forced him to sit for tea with me as punishment for following me so sloppily through the monastery in the first place- otherwise he would've had no interest in the matter. It was then that he said, "You know, even Lady Edelgard has not yet adopted the ability to discern when she's being watched...and I've been guiding her most of her life."

Words that still gave me pause, and sometimes made me tremble- but only superficially. I knew Hubert was devoted to only one- but that's part of why it was hard for me not to take the compliment to heart. _He thought I was smarter than her._

I gave him pause to answer, even though I knew he wouldn't; not right away, in any case. Not until he suspected I was certain he was there. I sighed, trying not to let a chuckle slide in. "Grew tired of watching Edelgard weighing her marriage options on the dancefloor, did you?"

Taunting him worked, as always; stoic as Hubert presented himself, it was that same unforgiving nature that made him so easy to rile. One simply had to both earn his respect, and learn his triggers. Luckily, he made no point of concealing what his biggest trigger was, or whom, more precisely. I heard the light scrape of a boot as he came forward from hiding, settling somewhere not far from where he'd been lurking before. I wondered if he'd been there the whole time, or simply followed behind me when I had made my escape of the festivities.

"If that were my motivation for spiriting away at such a time, then what might I assume yours to be, dear teacher?"

I almost turned around, but resisted myself, and said, "Are you insinuating that between the two of us, it is _I_ whom has Lady Edelgard's heart on their mind?"

He chuckled a bit at my tease, which cued to me that he had relaxed, if only slightly. "No, I suppose even I am not so crass as to speculate whom someone else may have feelings for. Such trivialities aren't within the scope of what I consider important."

 _Hm._ So it was going to be _that_ way tonight. If Hubert wanted to play, we could play, but I would be lying to myself if I said I was truly in the mood.

"Is that a fact," I asked, turning in time to see Hubert's smug grimace morph into something more quizzical, but still reserved. I could just barely catch the glimmer of the redish-to-golden ombre accents on his black suit in the crisp, full moonbeams- tonight was one of the only occasions other than graduation in which the students had a chance to, "dress up," and no Vestra was going to be shown up at any game- even one regarding clothing. I was prepared for him to argue, but he remained silent, and so I continued plucking at his ever-taut strings, waiting for the vibrations to strike a nerve- to make him sing. It was a game we played often in training, and in mock combat. Hubert struck me as aware that his lack of emotional volitility was an invaluable virtue some would never achieve in their lifetime; which was exactly why it was so important to push him harder in that respect- _especially_ when it came to matters of the Lady he'd served since he was only a boy. The undying singularity of devotion he applied to her was not only his greatest strength, but also his most easily exploitable weakness. If I couldn't break him of the habit, as his appointed leader, it was at least my responsibility to keep him aware of it. I gave Hubert my best bemused gaze, keeping my voice even and stern as I faux-chided him.

"You wouldn't have me believe my most capable tactician is unaware of the benefits of keeping tabs on the nature of the relationships of his colleagues. I would certainly be a poor teacher, if that were true."

I didn't dare to believe I saw his cheeks darken at the hanging implication of my last statement, but the thought pleased me all the same. I let the silence between us stretch, forcing him to answer somehow, eventually. He needed to understand how to be more direct when he was uncomfortable. Ever resourceful, he still found a way to respond cloyishly, mumbling only loud enough for the both of us to hear. "I think we both know you're more than adept at your craft. Alarmingly so, in fact."

Even though I knew the compliment was nothing more than a dodge to distract me, it still worked. I couldn't help but feel a little pride swell up at the thought of one of my best students appreciating my leadership, and then it was my turn to blush. I silently cursed at the heat growing upon my cheeks as soon as Hubert noticed it, but kept my features muted. For all he knew, I felt feverish. I ignored his growing smirk and asked, "What's a terrestrial creature like yourself doing so high up? I though you were afraid of such great heights," while fighting the urge to brush my hair behind my warming ears. 

As far as I could remember, the last place I had seen him was with all of the Black Eagle House when we'd convened yesterday, after the dance- coupled with what I knew to be a confirmed aversion to high spots was immediate cause for my concern of his motivations.That being said, I considered just about everything Hubert did to be mildly suspicious, so it was hard for me to know, with him. I found this to be not only dangerous, but also, annoyingly alluring. I listened to each heavy footstep as he shortened the space between us, close enough now that I could see the bitter, acidic shade of his eyes. I found they matched the rest of him in a worrying way I could never quite get under my thumb. "I'm simply trying to ascertain the nature of the relationships between my colleagues."

He beamed down at me, as if I were supposed to be in on the joke, but it went over my head, which frustrated me. "What do you mean, Hubert?"

He looked surprised but pleased at my reaction, and downright purred in his low, meandering rasp, "Surely you know the rumors about this place? It's said that individuals who would make a promise here, on this night, are foretold to have that promise come to fruition."

A few vague, immemorable stories about some or other old legend involving the tower came to mind then, and I felt a little embarrassed that I'd thought of it just too late. It had been all _anyone_ could talk about for weeks, it seemed. In any case, I liked to stay as many steps ahead of Hubert as possible, especially in conversation. He had a way of taking control of situations very effectively, and with no small amount of speed. Strategy was the Vestra game, after all. That was part of what made him such an invaluable subject. I laughed him off, finally giving in to the urge to move my hair behind my ear, and I watched as Hubert annoyingly took visible note of it. I didn't know what it was about being alone with him tonight that had me on edge, and maybe I was just still tired after a long few days, but something felt different about the way he had been approaching me for our entire interaction this night. Loudly clearing my throat with the hopes of jarring him, I quipped, "Is that the fable everyone has been rambling to me about in the corridors for a whole month? It didn't occur to me you were interested in fantasy, Hubert."

I could have been cruel, alluded that he already lived in a fantasy of his own creation; one where his devotion to the woman he loved would eventually serve him in a positive way, instead of slowly erode everything that made him so magnificent. I settled on, "Lin told me he thinks it's a curse."

"Oh?" He asked, continuing to regard me with his unnerving stare.

I hadn't expected him to press further, but I went on, flatly, remembering the conversation I'd had with Linhardt in the library one early morning after another of his weekend long, studies-unrelated research benders- lovers, apparently, had piqued his interest for a spell. "He told me he believes all of the lovers who have come here were cursed. Or doomed, or something. Said, 'the correlationsal statistics are simply daunting,' or something. He couldn't stop talking about it for a week." 

Hubert looked alarmingly pleased after that, and he raised his forefinger and thumb to rest his chin upon- something I only noticed him do when he was either truly surprised- or thinking quite hard. His answer made me suspect it was some of both. "Perhaps our Linhardt was on to something."

Hubert's reaction, and my own questions about his motive for following me were making my anxiety grow, fueling my accelerating discomfort. I half expected him to tease the amount of time I had been spending with Lin; and that was the only warning I got before I began to understand why he was there. He'd told me in the form of a riddle when he'd parroted my words back at me minutes ago, I simply hadn't been listening properly. "You came here to spy on me for Edie."

I tried not to let my lips set into a hard line of irritation, but didn't imagine I was very successful. Hubert's cynical eyes were shining with wickedness as he spat, "Was it not you who lectured to me that devotion is a weakeness easily turned against its employer?"

He posed it as a question, but it was nothing more than a statement of fact with thinly veiled overtones. We stood in the growing cool and darkness, examining each other, as was our custom when a conversation stilled. Cataloging body language was something we both did subconsciously, and also considered a hobby. It was a big part of the reason we had any sort of real bond at all- doing it with a partner was much more interesting, and doubled as wargame training to boot. I watched as a sharp breeze blew the ebony tresses of tight waves in and out of his eyeline. They settled back in to place without him having to fuss over them.

"I understand you're ill at ease around me, and that's an unfortunate necessity of our relationship, but I ask you discontinue your presumptions about the nature of my opinions regarding Lady Edelgard. They are of no concern to you."

My face was struggling not to contort into an lopsided frown. I had come outside to relax, not have an existential conversation, or put up with disrespect from someone I kept trying to consider a friend and colleague. I held most of the older students in my mind as peers, including Hubert, but I wasn't in the mood for him to challenge my authority- even if it were jest. Hubert was never one to make casual jokes, in any event. I took two steps toward him, the heels of my boots snapping heavily as they came to a halt. I was so close now that the dagger in my belt met his hip, and I had to crane my neck to look strait up at him when I said, "While they're under my command, they most certainly are my concern. Goodnight now, Hubert."

I didn't try to catch his arm with my shoulder as I moved around him to leave, but I did, and it was a mistake. He used the extra momentum to spin around, catching me with one arm barred across my clavicle, and the other encircling my waist. I remained still, and calm. Struggling wasn't only a waste of energy- Hubert would be encouraged by it. I knew he was testing me, just like I had been with him. However, I wasn't so sure I was in the mood to spar anymore, especially physically. Our private sessions had begun to take a more sensual turn, at times, in the past 6 months. Nothing to write home about, but neither of us were past the point of touching one another in this manner any more- especially in the playfully flirtatious guise of training. I took a deep breath in through my nose, and let the air pass through my pursed lips before I whispered, "Let me go, Hubert."

His grasp didn't tighten, but he didn't move, either. His breathing was even and slow as he murmured the word, "No," into the space just above the crown of my head. I felt the air from it disturb my hair. One more deep breath in and out through my mouth as I ignored the shooting tingles his voice sent down my spine. "I'm not planning on repeating myself."

I could feel laughter deep in his chest, as it vibrated back up, permeating my skin through our clothing. "Nor am I."

I dropped all my weight to my knees with force, trying to pull him down with my momentum- a trick that usually worked _especially_ well on Hubert due to our sizeable height gap, but this time he seemed prepared for it, because he used all of the energy I built up trying to get us both lower to pull me higher. He wouldn't have been able to make it work without perfect timing; he must have been practicing with someone if a similar height without me. _That was concerning._

I growled in protest as he hefted me up off of the ground, but I knew then that struggle was moot, I had no points of contact; he was in control. I kicked my legs out anyways, trying to draw leverage away from him, or use gravity to sink downward, but he was like a stone, hard and unmoving as he held me, suspended some lentgh off of the ground. "Tell me, Professor. Have you come to trust me, in your time as my mentor?"

I could feel his breath speeding up on my ear the longer I hung in his arms. I was far from over the limit of what he could hold or carry, but he couldn't keep it up forever just standing there like that. "I don't know anyone here I trust less," I spat, turning my neck so he could feel my words on his face.

He laughed once more, but it didn't undulate out of him as noticeably as before. "Hm. Clever as suspected."

I tried not to shout at him to let me go, and probably would have if I weren't worried I would draw attention to the both of us. I couldn't even begin to imagine what a frenzy the rumor mill would dive into should someone see us up there together. Student/Teacher relationships weren't forbidden at the monestary in print, considering some were of similar age; but they weren't exactly smiled upon, either. Far too many ways for things to get messy. Whom I spent my time with was my business, and I didn't need anyone accusing me of nepotism. Suddenly Hubert spoke again. "If you promise never to start, I will promise to let you go. Do we have a deal?"

I couldn't begin to imagine what the Goddess he was getting at with that, and I wasn't about to play whatever abstract games he had planned tonight any longer. I had a long day ahead with Jeralt, and another two I was still trying to put behind me. I scrambled to find a way to outsmart him, but only came up with, "No deal, you'll put me down one way or another. You have to promise something in return."

To my relief and alarm, I felt Hubert's grasp on me loosen, and he held me balanced as I slid slowly back to the ground- it felt strange and comforting all at once. "You're right, my arms were growing quite weary of you."

I turned in a huff and shoved him with both of my hands- breaking away from his grasp, though I was the only one that moved. The thin line of Hubert's grimace seemed to nearly reach both ears, clueing me in to how amusing he must have thought himself. Everything about him was just, _off_ tonight. "Hubert, what are you getting at? What's all this bullshit about trust, and promises?"

For a moment I thought... _no-_ did he look flustered, or concerned? The only verb to describe how he was regarding me now was glaring, but his cheeks had grown red, as well. I couldn't begin to imagine what his angle was, for once. Usually, it was alarmingly evident. "You're right, you know. Lady Edlegard did send me here."

I let the superficial pang of hurt slide off of my heart like grease from a freshly seasoned pan. I'd dealt with enough people like Hubert in my life, men specifically; that is to say emotionally witholding, and unforgiving in nature- to have hardened myself to their antics. I cared about Hubert, but not enough to let him under my skin. I rarely kept anyone there, anymore. Before I could form an answer, he continued, "but I can't say with certainty that's the only reason I came. And I know with certainty that she had more than one reason for sending me."

It was my turn to be flustered once more, and I abhorred the fact that my heart did a tiny flip behind my breast. To my further surprise, Hubert continued, face blank, as he said more words to me than we'd probably spoken in our entire time since meeting. "I believe she ordered me away me to spare my feelings, because you were right, she was 'weighing her marriage options on the dance floor,' as you so crudely put it...but I also came because I find that I admire you, professor, and it has become quite intolerable."

I was astonished, and hoped I was doing better at hiding it in my eyes than it felt like. Hubert _never_ aknowleged the one, ever looming truth- that Von Vestra wasn't quite _noble_ enough of a title to throw in for the lawful affections of Lady Edelgard once she ascended the throne- at least verbally. He must have really been hurting to be so earnest. I let my face soften, but that seemed to rile him even more, which gave me even less of an idea of how to respond. I tried my luck with, "What's so intolerable about admiring your teacher, Hubert? I've admired all of mine."

I saw his gaze flit downward, then back up to my own swiftly, I still took note- though I wasn't sure what it meant just yet. He also wasn't making any effort to relinquish himself from my space either, as he murmured more quizzicalities into the chilly air. "This thorn in my side has little to do with the admiration itself, nor its beneficiary."

With little warning, Hubert's hands found my upper-arms, and I could feel the warmth from his skin even through his shimmering, wyvern-leather gloves, that matched the other accents on his suit. I didn't flinch, or move. He had me interested, but I could tell he was still playing a game. Hubert was always playing a game.

"Then why," was all I was able to whisper before my view darkened as Hubert lowered himself toward me, gloves leaving trails of warmth as they moved up my arms, over my shoulders, and giving me pause as they almost encircled my neck. My breath flew into my throat and I almost cowered away, but after their pause there, they continued to my rest atop burning cheeks. He cupped them gently with a thumb on each cheekbone and demanded, "Promise me." 

Breathy, without thinking, I whispered, "You first." 

He looked confused, but still serious. "You haven't asked me your promise, professor."

 _Shit._ He was right, and I felt embarrassed, scrambling not to waste such an opportunity for lucidity from _Huber Von Vestra,_ of all folk. Able to think of nothing more fitting, I blurted, "Promise me you won't let Edelgard destroy you. As your friend."

If I hadn't been able to pin down Hubert's emotions before, right now they were written on his face clear as the stars shone. I'd rattled him. His brow furrowed, and even his voice was no longer even nor clear as he forcefully stated, "I would lay down my life in an instant for Lady Edelgard if handed that opportunity. No promise will ever change this reality, _woman_."

The way his last word disrespectfully slid from his mouth like acid had me reeling, but I steeled myself internally, and cleared my focus. "What if you weren't given the choice?"

Hubert frowned, a deep setting of his browbone above those ashen sockets, and before I knew what was happening, he leaned down, and into me further, before firmly pressing his lips to my mouth. They were cooler than his hands, but softer than any I had ever tasted; an obvious mark of nobility. Was Hubert... _the first Noble that had kissed me?_ Even a passing thought to that effect seemed dreadfully odd, but I didn't have to worry about it any longer, as my thoughts began shattering into a million shards. I found myself unable to respond, or even react, when his tongue darted from behind his teeth to lap at mine for entry. I could only suck my breath inward, not quite a gasp for air, but he took the opportunity to force himself deeper- into my mouth, and against my body. I didn't despair, quite the opposite, in fact; it had been _too long_ since I had been touched like this, but I still remained functionally frozen. Even that was only fleeting, however; as Hubert finally released me from what felt like a spell, peeling himself back and regarding me broodingly. His eyes darted to different points of my face, but my own vision was still a little out of focus. I could feel my cheeks were iron-hot now against the cool air, and when Hubert's features finally became more clear he looked flushed as well- and concerned over again. If he was angry that I'd remained still for his advances, he showed nothing of it. I still didn't know what to think about much of what had just transpired.

I would be lying if I hadn't thought about kissing my little spook before- more like fun fantasies to pass my less busy days at the monastery, but that simple reality left me feeling quite conflicted about what he had done; and on such an auspicious evening, as well. Even I couldn't lose the implication with paltry justifications...tonight felt oddly significant to me, this was undeniable. I could practically hear Sothis calling to me in my mind's eye, but I was far too frazzled to be able to understand what she was trying to convey. Suddenly, I heard the door to the chapel churn slowly open, followed by footfalls behind us, steady and heavy. Hubert was gone in a flash just as silent as it was visible, and I was left there, breast nearly heaving, as soldiers and surprisingly, my father now approached me. My gaze remained on the empty space Hubert had been occupying, when Jeralt's voice jilted me alert.

"Honey, where have you been?"

He didn't give me pause to answer that obviously I had been exactly where they found me, and continued, "Situations have changed. We can't afford to wait until tomorrow to move out on this one."


	2. Guardian Moon

Faint voices filtered through the hall and around the corner as I moved toward the monastery library. They sounded effeminate, but I was far too distracted by getting to my destination to make any assumptions. I prayed to the Goddess I wouldn't have to bump in to them, or any other students or faculty members on my way. I needed to be alone right then. Being around my father's things while emptying his office was hard, but stumbling upon my mother's ring- the one he had promised to give me at her grave on that crisp, cold day, had been the hardest part. Tears wanted to spill free and roll down my cheeks when I retrieved the silver circlet from a bookshelf, regarding the shaped purple stones- but I couldn't bear the thought of being seen that way. And I needed time to just, _be that way_ , for a while. Hence my desperation for a quiet, secluded place. I hadn't even taken the ring- somehow the idea of possessing a piece of my parents now that they were both gone seemed a double-edged comfort- nor finished what I had started, at Alois request. He hadn't been able to bring himself to do it either, in the days following what transpired in Remire. I couldn't blame him, which is why I took up the burden when I was finally able to force myself outside, at all. I hadn't been ready either, it seemed.

_"You know who I'm really worried about is Leonie..."_

I cursed internally, passing by a split in the hall, and dashed back behind the preceding wall as I saw Hilda and Claude leaning together, right in front of the library doors. Taking a deep breath, I thought about what to do. I could continue to the library, where I might finally hole up in some secluded corner and have some privacy- but would have to go through two more awkward conversations first. I heard Claude mumble something back to her, but couldn't hear what, exactly. Then Hilda began again, "Sylvain told me the Eagles' professor is...," her crisp, tinny words began to fade as I made up my mind to book it in the other direction.

I didn't care what she was going to say, or what Claude thought about it, or what Sylvain had told them. I was just hoping my speed was enough to either keep them from noticing me, or keep them from bothering me. Finally snapping around another corner, I spotted a door, and found myself inside of one of the spare common rooms on the second floor. I slammed the door behind myself on accident, before slowly sinking to the floor, with my knees curled into awkward piles in front of me. I wouldn't hyperventilate. I would control my breathing. I thought these things, but once life-giving air still felt like it was strangling it's way down my throat, and I could feel the hot tears filling up my eyes, threatening to overwhelm them. I was grateful for everyone's condolences, truly, I was. Doubly so for every person who regaled their favorite memories of my father to me that day, as if he were their personal hero. A choking cough escaped my chest, and I tried to get up. I grabbed the edge of a large, sturdy table, and pulled myself to my feet. I had to snap out of this. Jeralt would... _no_. There would be no more worrying about what Jeralt would want because _Jeralt was gone._ Lost forever, and I'd been able to do nothing to stop it- even with the blessing of Sothis' divine power. What had she told me? _That this was fate..._

If so, I wasn't too certain of the fate the Goddess intended for me anymore. In this "fate," I'd lost not only my greatest mentor, but my oldest friend. My culture. _My home._ I would have a new scar as well- in my failed attempt to spare Jeralt from Monica's dagger, that other monster- the one who had been Tomas- intervened somehow. When I engaged her in an attempt to stop them, she had managed to wound me deeply with the blade, just under my left breast; as if she'd been aiming for my heart. Whether or not she knew it, she'd shattered the thing despite her failure to pierce it. Without Jeralt, I found myself feeling completely and utterly hopeless. We'd spent at least two decades together. Everything I knew about anything, he had taught me. I never knew my mother, but Jeralt was such a staggering example of a good father I rarely found time to miss her, outside of childhood. Now I found myself missing them both; and it was the strangest sensation. The void of loneliness growing in my chest was being joined by fear as I wondered how my life could possibly resume without them in it. How could I protect anyone from harm without someone at my side, _protecting me?_

A small squeak escaped me when I heard the heavy door close behind myself once more, and I snapped around to see Hubert Von Vestra standing there; when he noticed whom he'd walked in upon, he bowed oddly at the waist. "I...apologize for the intrusion. My intention was not to startle."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes, as if being startling wasn't something quite high on that little spook's list of favorite skills. I stared across the room, crossing my arms over my chest, I could barely focus on his face- my eyes now dry and swollen, irritated by the salt of my tears for my father. In truth, I'd neither seen nor spoken to Hubert since that night we'd been together after the Rebirth Ball, under the Ethereal Moon, and I could assert this wasn't the best time to revisit that quandry. I'd had barely time to breathe since that night, let alone process anything in a healthy way. When my silence continued Hubert's stance relaxed, but his arms went across his much broader chest as well. "I've never been much for condolences...I actually didn't know whom had rushed into this room with such alarming urgency. Now is certainly not the time to be unwary of intruders."

I couldn't help but laugh when I heard the word "condolences." It had been repeated to me with so much frequency of late it held nothing of it's original weight, anymore- nothing but an empty collection of sounds. I continued to stare at him, not necessarily because I wanted to, I was just frozen in his presence, again. There were so many awkward nuances that it was sending my brain into a complete spiral. I was still jilted from him surprising me, there was everything that happened in the Goddess Tower courtyard, I wanted to be alone- but I also knew I probably didn't need to be completely alone. Hubert raised a closed fist to his mouth, and clearing his throat, said, "While I'm here, there is something we need to discuss about the next few moons-"

Suddenly I could hear my heartbeat in my ears, and my vision clouded over with dark multi-colored sparks- all accompanied by pain shooting up and down my left side. Emmanating, I assumed, from Monica's barely-tended wound. I saw a look of concern cross Hubert's face, and as my knees buckled to the ground, he rushed toward me crying, "Professor!"

I clutched my side, trying not to growl in pain as I shrugged my overcoat off. Hubert was crouching down in front of me, and as I peeled off the first layer of my clothing, he seemed to become paler in the face. My stomach sank and I looked down- I had bled through the bandages and onto my leathers. Tears began spilling over my cheeks again, and I sobbed aloud, unable to stop either. Reaching my hands up to my eyes, I began to fall apart. As if losing Jeralt wasn't enough, the pain from the strange dagger Monica used- or whatever the hell that demon was, was incomparable to any physical pain I had ever felt. It was as if burning, itching, and stinging all became one, somehow worse sensation turned against me as persistently as all three combined. Hubert's face sterned up and his skilled hands immediately went to work unbinding my wound as he murmured, "Who in all of Fòdlan is responsible for this hack job?," but I knew he meant for me not to answer- as if I could right then.

I gritted my teeth as the last layer of cloth peeled away- breath from my lungs hissing through them freely. Hubert clicked his tongue behind his teeth, and I tried not to shiver from the difference in temperature on my wounded skin. I looked up at him pitifully, but his focus was fully on the gash beneath my breast binding, and the thin glean of clammy sweat on his temple made him look anything but chiding as he sounded. He was was right, it was a bit of a hack job; I'd had Dorothea look at me, because Manuela would have talked too much, Hanneman would have asked ask too many questions, Linhardt would have fainted, and I wouldn't have been able to tolerate anyone else near me. Dorothea was silent, and perform as best she could, but healing magic wasn't her main focus. Neither was Hubert's however, to my knowledge. Still, he seemed intent upon what he was doing. _Interesting_. "Why did you let your body fall into such a condition?"

Still breathing through my teeth, I wondered aloud, "Do you have any idea what I've been through, or did you forget about you and Edie's precious _Monica_?"

Hubert reached out while I was distracted, and touched the skin around the cut in my side. I gasped, slapping his hand away reflexively, which caused him to frown. "I said I'm no good at condolences. I have no love for my father, so I can't say I know what you're going through, and wouldn't see the point in mentioning so even if I did."

As if he could tell my anger about the fact that neither he, nor Edelgard, had picked up that Monica was some kind of planted double-agent after having spent so much extra time with her was mounting, he continued, and his words escaped him sounding almost like a sigh themselves. "I did everything I could to convince Lady Edelgard that there was something off about _that girl_. In truth, Edelgard was quite possessive of their time together."

I found myself unable meet his sour-colored eyes. Focusing too much on what we could have done to stop what happened to Jeralt wasn't going to serve me positively, and I had to stop myself from falling into that mental trap. Actually sighing this time, Hubert finished, "I knew nothing of her true nature, of that you have my word. Know that I do not give it often, teacher."

I let out a deep breath, focusing on the floor, and let my body relax slightly- I wouldn't pull away if he attempted to assist me again- and fat tears kept rolling down my cheeks, despite their intensity having slowed a little. Hubert saw this, and took the opportunity to reach his hand to my side once more, pressing two fingers just above where the gash stopped. I gasped more softly this time, having been expecting some pain. I heard Hubert grumble something negative sounding, and turned my gaze back up to meet his- but he was getting back onto his feet with some immediacy. What _was he doing?_ "Hubee-EUGH!"

I cried out loudly as he scooped me up into his arms in a grooms-carry, and felt incredibly dizzy at the distance between myself and my floor having expanded so quickly. I felt us moving, heard his now-heavier footfalls as they made way toward the exit. "Where are you taking me?"

Hubert opened the door without strain, and together we strode in what direction I didn't know, myself nearly undressed. "You shouldn't bother speaking."

Every time I tried to open my eyes and focus on where we were going, my vision danced, and brought nausea along. I heard voices somewhere down the hall again, but they faded as soon as I had picked them up. I wondered what people would say when they saw us- surely, we'd been seen already- by student, staff, or guard. The alternative seemed impossible, but all I continued to hear were Hubert's steps, and the rustle of his uniform pressed against my face and hair. It felt like we had slowed down, but I dared not try opening my eyes again for fear of losing my stomach all over him. He opened yet another door, and I heard him pull it closed behind us. The room we were in felt warm, and much more enclosed than the corridors. I kept expecting Hubert to finally put me down, but he kept walking, slowed down once more- then moved something heavy with one hand. I heard the same object move again, accompanied by a much larger, scraping kind of creak, then, a claustrophobic silence.

I took a chance on my sight, but there was only darkness in front of us, and I found myself starting to panic. "Hubert?!"

A fireplace in the corner roared to life with the barest twitch of Hubert's hand, illuminating what looked like a small, somberly decorated office of sorts. There was a desk, several plush loungers, and many bookshelves and tables covered with other books, reports, documents, and objects. Some of the papers had runes and notes scribbled on them that I had never seen before. _Where were we?_ I didn't recognize the room at all. "Please calm yourself, professor. We won't be pursued here. That is all you need know."

I failed to see a reason to argue with him in my state, and noticed my body beginning to ache all over as he brought me to a long sofa and lay me down with my head propped up slightly. I tried to get more comfortable as Hubert went into a cabinet and started withdrawing some supplies, but every move sent pain shooting through my whole body. I was sweating by the time Hubert returned with a cool towel that he pressed gently to my forehead. "Keep this here, please."

I did as he asked, because the chilly fabric felt amazing on my skin, but I was also oddly compelled by the fact that he'd bothered to say, "please." Hubert's noble politeness usually never bled into niceties, and it had me a little on edge. I watched him as he removed his uniform gloves of silk, and tried to focus on anything but what he was doing once he started cleaning my gash. Remembering to breathe, I clenched my teeth through the pain and tried not to make any noise, as I made note of as much about the mysterious little room as possible. Hubert applied a clear salve to his fingers, and I almost screamed when it touched my skin. Instead I settled on grabbing and gripping his broad shoulder as tightly as I could- squinting until more tears squeezed from the corners of my lids; I realized I had crumpled the rag he'd given me in my other hand. When he was done, I was finally able to ask, "Why in Seiros' name does it hurt so badly? I've been stabbed before."

I had been wondering as much since I initially noticed the wound was not healing as quickly as others I had received in the past, but I'd scarcely had time to put priority on my own health since the event. It had been on the back burner at best until I'd asked for Dorothea's help, only recently. Seemingly taking no notice of my claw-like grasp upon his person, while returning the salve to a bag of supplies, he flatly stated, "If it was the type of blade as I suspect that was used to pierce you, then it was charmed, or cursed, rather. It is of dark magic, and only dark magic will heal wounds caused by it... but the process is known to be very painful. However, if I do not act quickly, you will have little time to live."

I thought about his words for a moment, and about what he'd asked me last moon. I held little fear of death in my heart- especially after Jeralt's own permanent departure from my life- but my responsibility had become quite great in my time at Garreg Mach. To say there were people who depended on our guidance here was an understatement, and I found myself frightened all over again the daunting prospect of carrying them alone from now on. Again, Hubert's words from that night rang in my mind. _Had I come to trust him?_ The answer was, only if I could find myself trusting Edelgard, and the short answer to that question was most certainly no. Much the same as Hubert, she held her ideals in too high a regard for my liking, and with a temperament like hers, that was dangerous. I had come to care for her just as much as any of my students, but her intellect, and cold, witholding nature made me wary of her from our first meeting- the day I saved her life. I found myself suddenly angry with her for benefiting from Sothis' divine Pulse when Jeralt had not. Only a fool would trust either of them, but- if the imposter's blade managed to kill my father, it could not have been mere luck in the placement of her backstab. Hubert's words must have been at least presently true. I still needed to know one thing though, before I would trust him enough to let him touch me again, even for healing. I looked into his pale eyes, the color of dead grass- really held his gaze. He accepted my challenge, unflinching, meeting my dark ones as soon as requested. I decided not to remove my hand from him just yet, and tried to keep my voice free of pain as I demanded, "Did you really raise concern over Monica with Lady Edelgard?"

Hubert looked confused, and for an instant, pained. His brows were very rarely unfurrowed, and doubly so during our time today, but the way they fell slightly downturned at my words before crimping back together was...oddly rare for him. He let out a long breath through his nose, but didn't move his gaze, frowning. "Did you not hear me say you're going to die?"

I shook my head, despite the answer being yes, and clenched the hand that held his arm. "Give me your word again, Vestra. I trust you not to lie to a dying woman's face." 

Hubert's eyebrows sagged once more, and I found myself wondering if that's what they did when he felt vulnerable. Hard as it was to hear for him, it was the truth. I didn't need to trust him fully to know lying about the subject wouldn't serve him in that instance, and I would be able to tell if he was being dishonest, besides. I'd silently observed him for way too long to not know what his poker face looked like, and he wasn't wearing any face I had seen on him before just then. "I give you my word. Use it to your discretion."

I didn't know what to think of his seemingly rushed response, and didn't have time to ponder further as I saw greenish-yellow light start to emmanate from one of Hubert's hands. When he pressed one to my wound and started murmering, I began to scream from the white-hot burning his fingers brought me. The noise was clipped by him pressing the other into my mouth, and I clenched down tightly with my teeth on instinct. Hubert's words were now coming out as a strained growl, but he kept chanting, grasping my side with what felt like bruising force as all different colors of light surrounded the area they met- swirling faster and faster. The faster they danced, the more the pain intensified, until for a moment, I screamed again- releasing the meat of Hubert's hand from my mouth- and then I felt nothing. 

* * *

I heard rainfall, heavy as stones against the walls of the firelit room. Even the wind was audible as it pushed into the heavy trees and wooden structures of the monastery surrounding me. _Wait._ _Where was I again?_ My body shot up at the waist as my eyes snapped open. Had I been sleeping? Glancing around, I noticed I was no longer in my clothing. In fact, I seemed to be wearing nothing more than a long and plain men's shool uniform blouse. I had been covered with a very large cloak with a dark, fur lapel I couldn't remember seeing on any of my students. Underneath me was a pile of plush curtains that I noticed had been hanging in the corner, earlier. 

_Earlier_. Yes, Hubert had brought me there, but he was certainly away at the time. I could only guess he had finished assisting me, and moved on. After all, he'd done the least he could do- make sure I didn't die. He wasn't obligated to babysit me, and he lacked the temperament for it, in any case. I lay back down, and curled up under the cloak by the fireplace once more. There wasn't much point in trying to get back to my room if it was storming outside, and who knew when that would pass. I had no idea how to get out of this room, besides; even if I found the door, I hadn't exactly been paying attention in transit. 

The respite of my dreams had almost found me once more, when I was disturbed by muffled sounds from across the room, and then footsteps. Leaning upward cautiously, I came to see Hubert, holding a covered tray of what I hoped was sundries, and a pot for tea. He stepped into the light, setting the tray down in front of me gently. I peered up at the soft light from the flames dancing against his form, and realized it made his eyes look almost golden. I took note of how the longer hair of his bangs clung to itself and curled awkwardly from it's exposure to the downpour. Groggily, I murmered half-joking, "I thought you'd abandoned me here with no escape."

Something faint crossed Hubert's eyes as he removed the tray's little cloché and he said, "I apologize if you were frightened. I did not forsee your waking for quite some more time." 

Looking down at the tray he'd presented, there were a few slices of crisp bread, some cheese, dried fruit, and a a handful of napkins as well. He had already removed the kettle and set it upon a hook, and now it hung inside of the fireplace, just licked by the flames. I took a piece of fruit and plopped it on my tongue, enjoying the sweet tang as it slivered around. Swallowing seemed to bring a hunger with it I had been unaware of, and I had soon begun chewing upon a small slice of the toast. Hubert had come to sit with his legs neatly folded under near the fire, regarding me as I ate. I imagined he had brought the food because he knew I would be hungry- it stood to reason that the healing magic he had performed would leave me needing nourishment- but I couldn't remember my last full meal before that, besides. Once I started to feel a little less shaky, I asked him why he had both brought and left me here in his care, instead of taking me to Hanneman, or leaving me to the infirmary, with Manuela. I could hear him breathing evenly as he thought to form an answer, but could see little of his face, as it was turned from the light- which I found a bit unsettling. "It was my thought that if you were in such a state when I found you, there was likely a particular motivation behind not having sought proper medical attention, on your part."

His response gave me no clarity, but it was still an honest answer, in its own way. Swaddled in the lengths of dark cloak and fur I had been left with, I decided to try a new angle. "What's this?"

He watched me tug at the edges of the fabric, face and posture unchanging. "That was passed down to me from the last Vestra in my father's generation worth his name. This was..."

He paused, as if he didn't know if he should finish his thought, but continued meekly anyways, "This was actually his office, at one time. If you could believe such a thing." 

A Vestra that held office in The Church of Seiros-? Now _that_ had me intrigued. It couldn't have been Hubert's father. An uncle, or older cousin perhaps? I would never know for certain unless Hubert desired, and so I listened. As my silence stretched on, Hubert fussed with the kettle, removing it from the heat and dropping something from the tray into it. He continued, "Our crest isn't associated with benign magics, but he was an exception. He saw the uses in combining these skills, where others did not."

I found it strange that he was entertaining me like this at all, so I continued regarding him intently, as he poured the hot, steeped liquid into what I realized was only one cup. Silly of me to think Hubert would voluntarily partake of something so weakly caffeinated or embittered as tea. I took the cup in my fingers as he watched me, and blew gently to cool it down, before taking that first sip- which always scalded my lips and tongue- no matter the effort put in otherwise. Despite this, I felt a rush of calmness so warm and immediate it was striking. "It is to him I owe the knowledge that closed your wound, in fact."

I set my tea back down with a soft clink, and noticed for the first time since waking that I was no longer in any kind of pain. Pulling the cloak away from myself, I moved the blouse aside and regarded the area under my breast where the dagger's gash had been- there was nothing left but angry red skin, and a mound of white scar-tissue. The sight left me astounded. I knew Hubert was powerful, but...even I wouldn't have known what to do for me yesterday. I asked, "Would he have advised saving my life with that knowledge, or would he have applied it only to a Hresvelg, as is your family's custom?"

I watched a fat droplet of water slide from one curl as he frowned, angrily. "Are you saying you wanted to die?"

"I'm asking why you didn't let me. You have no obligation to me, only to Edelgard."

I couldn't quite tell, but I thought Hubert looked conflicted, as if he hadn't considered the weight of his actions- even though he'd said himself to my face that I would die. If that were the case, I doubted his ability to answer wholly right then, even if he felt it were appropriate. Since it seemed I was thinking more clearly between us two, I decided to pry for easier answers. "Did you remove my clothing?"

Hubert's features froze, and he seemed to be fuming- sullen cheeks turning into pinkish little pillows on his usually harsh bone structure in the firelight. "That was necessary in order to properly wrap your wound, and allow your body to better rest."

His gloveless knuckles were rendered ever more white from how hard he was grasping his knees. I almost expected him to stand, leave in a huff without a word, and when he didn't, I asked coyly, "Was kissing me necessary?"

He couldn't, or wouldn't, look at me. Those piercing eyes penetrating nothing but the floor between the two of us. I let the silence stretch thin in the air, almost too thin- and then I had a bit of a naughty idea. He hadn't made an escape just yet; though I couldn't imagine why, so there was still a chance for getting an rile out of him. I began pulling myself to my feet, and for a moment he looked as if he were going to protest my moving around, but caught the impulse last second and continued searing a hole in the floor with his gaze. Slowly, I began fiddling with the buttons on the blouse he'd put me in, and my pulse sped up thinking about the look on his face as he forced himself to undress me in the name of tending my wound. I wondered how much of me he had seen. Had he been able to close his eyes, avert his gaze to protect me- or was he unable to? Still watching him, I was almost to my navel when he relented, finally glancing up at me. "What in Fòdlan are you doing, do you wish to become ill?"

My fingers ceased their movement, and though I tried to meet his eyes with mine, he glanced down once more. The warmth from the fire danced on my abandoned teacup, and the tray itself. I noticed Hubert's hair had begun to set in those dreadfully awkward curls- softer, more effeminate looking waves, that I found kind of... _cute,_ actually, if such words could be used to describe the man in front of me. Or rather, slightly below me. "I thought I would return your clothing and make my way. It seems I've made you cross."

When he said nothing, I resumed my work, but didn't even get to the next button before, still staring away from me, he firmly murmered, "You must continue resting. And...you may keep the blouse. I have many."

"Nonsense. I can tell when I've overstayed my welcome," I purred in jest, trying to convince him I was serious.

I had almost made it to the last few tiny fasteners- leaving an ever-widening gap of exposed flesh between either side of fabric- when Hubert launched upward, grasping both of my hands in his, effectively stopping their motions. They seemed to emmanate heat in a way that made me realize either he was very hot, or I was very cold- probably a combination of the two. I was startled, but not frightened, and regarded him in the dancing light as he now stared at both of our hands piled up against what remained of my decency. His breathing was very strange, and he was shaking, but only slightly. Hubert had me held so near, he could have rested his head on top of mine, if he wanted to. I found myself wanting to close the space between us further, despite that notion being obscene, given how much I had been through in the last many hours. _Still..._ Before I could think any more on how to accomplish that notion, he whispered, lowly, "Why do you insist upon being cruel to me?"

I almost laughed. Cruel, he thought me? Hubert really knew how to push my buttons. Wringing my hands away from his took some effort, and once I had them free I backed up a few steps, staring into his face- a demand for eye contact, but he was hesitant to comply; and so I continued undoing the last few bits of fabric that were connected, slowly. "You don't want me to be truly cruel to you, Hubert."

With every tiny piece of the shirt undone he came closer to looking at me again, I could tell exactly how hard it was for him not to. I paused at the final button, and took his persistent silence to mean I needed to go for his throat while it lie exposed to me. "I wonder if Lady Edelgard would approve of how you utilized your talent?"

Hubert then turned toward me, much slower than I expected it to finally happen. When it did, I saw an odd combination of desire and malice that marred his face into something so dark, that it was actually quite striking. I don't think I'd ever seen him look so handsome as he did when he glared through me with those hateful little pools of acid- the windows to his true self. A part of me knew he hadn't told Edie about today- let alone what transpired between us on the 25th Ethereal Moon. Another, darker part of me knew he probably hadn't had much of a spare moment to process it, either. My fingers hovered at the bottom of his shirt, keeping the bare front of me hidden from view. My breasts however, were heaving a fight to break free with each new breath I took. Finally, Hubert said in a low, meandering rasp, as if he didn't know what to do next, "No, dear teacher, I don't suppose she would."

 _Bingo._ I doubted Hubert knew the true scope of just how many answers I had pried from him with that question, but it wouldn't take forever for him to figure it out. He was a smart boy; I had to act now if I was interested in indulging my fantasy. _My escape._ Suddenly I knew it was exactly what I needed. I needed him, needed to feel something other than emptiness and grief.

I guided the last little piece free of its home, letting my arms rest naturally at my sides, then. I shivered- hairs and gooseflesh raised as the fabric danced down, away from my chest, navel, and hips, revealing all of myself to Hubert Von Vestra. For the first time, I noticed he was making no effort to control his breathing- his broad shoulders were heaving with the effort in a way I only ever saw when we trained. He stammered, low, rasping sounds, and I let it go to my head, smiling a little too generously. Hubert's eyes seemed to go dark in a manner not measured by shades of color, and he had closed the space between us with long strides in what felt like just an instant. I cried out from the force of his body colliding with mine, but he kept me from moving with his arms around me. Needing no further encouragement, I hopped up, deftly managing to grab his hips between my thighs. His hold on me loosened slightly in anticipation of my jump, and when I was finally level with those lightning colored eyes, I dove right in.

Grasping his face in both hands, I pressed my lips into his with fervor, immediately asking for his tongue with mine. Hubert made a noise both wholly new to me, and irrationally pleasing to my ear, sending his own tongue behind my inviting lips once more. He made that animal-like, gutteral rasp again when I pulled away to gently suck on his full, lower lip. The hands grasping my behind formed a claw-like grip on the soft flesh there, and I cried out in surprise that it hurt just a bit. Hubert regarded me with a light, no, a _burning_ in his eyes that I was so drawn to it was almost frightening. Then he said, "Somehow I knew you would taste as good as you looked," and I was undone. 

Returning my mouth to his, I used one arm around his shoulder for support, while my other went hunting lower, between our two bodies. I shivered as my hand slithered past my own center, before reaching his and making work of the clasps and toggles. Hubert's tongue darted out, skillfully embracing my swollen, bottom lip, before sucking it into his own- clenching down there softly with his teeth. The light, breathy noise that escaped me when he did this was utterly involuntary, and it made me feel things low, deep within my body. The sound seemed to have a similar effect on Hubert, as he parted our lips once more to regard me. For once, I believed I saw nothing but desire filling his gaze- desire to continue, desire for _me._ I reunited our mouths, both of my hands now buried in Hubert's still damp tresses, mussing them to tangles. I realized I'd never finished helping him out of his clothes, but I had been distracted by mapping his face, cheekbones, and jawline with my lips and tongue- and the closer I came to his neck, the more labored his breathing became. I could almost feel my mouth tingling as I drew nearer, finally finding the exact spot I wanted to taste. That small expanse of skin where his throat started to become his neck and shoulders wasn't naturally exposed in his uniform, and I had to free one of my hands to get Hubert's collar out of the way. 

I almost purred when I saw the milk-white skin as it stretched over his jawline and throat, down to his shoulder and clavicle. It looked incredibly soft in the low light. Kissing it gently a few times, I let my tongue dart out and leave cooling lines of moisture there in its wake. Hubert's hips were were shaking with the effort it took for him not to grind them into my body with enough force to hurt me, but he seemed to lose control when I bit down just at the base of his throat. His groin came to meet mine with such a force that it drew loud, lingering sounds from both of us. I could tell he wanted to go further, and I was enjoying myself far too much to feel differently. Hubert began carefully walking, kissing me as we moved slowly to the sofa he had tended me upon, hours earlier. He set me down gently, kneeling in front of my body, and we were almost the same height again. I withdrew his jacket from his trousers and he threw it over himself, and when there was nothing underneath, I realized he must have never picked up a replacement for the one he'd put me in. Something about that was sexy. 

Even with nearly no light, the skin of his torso was so pale it seemed to glimmer- marred only by a few scars, here and there. I leaned up, intending to consume his mouth with mine once more, but he pressed a hand firmly between my breasts, and urged me to lie back. I did as nonverbally instructed, but kept my eyes on the man in front of me. He seemed to have paused for a moment, and I almost thought he was asking for permission to touch me, _really touch me._ His diamond-tipped outer-shell truly housed a heart of honor; I found it endeared him to me then in way that was probably irreversible. I smiled at him warmly, not sure if he could see it in the dark, and said, genuinely, "I want you to touch me, Hubert."

Needing no further words, he leaned into me, one hand finding the hair at the nape of my neck, and the other extending two long digits to gently caress the pillowy lips of my womanhood. I sighed softly, moving my hips to encourage him to continue. My cheeks felt so warm; it was almost hard to watch him touch me like that, as if even the sight were too indulgent. I could feel moisture growing between my legs with each stroke- up, an then down again- of his fingers. He seemed bolstered by this, and captured my gaze with his, as he slowly pressed one finger into the deepest, most intimate part of me. It made me want him closer to me- I wanted him so close I could disappear inside of him if I chose, but the sensation of even just one of his long, lovely fingers exploring my so completely had me coming even more undone. 

Hubert leaned forward, capturing my mouth with his once more, before pressing another kiss softly to my chin, and the corner of my jaw- his other hand moved from my hair to almost encircle my neck, and I found that I liked the way it felt there. The motion of his finger almost had me shaking, and I cried out firmly when Hubert bit down in almost a mirror image of the spot I had marked him with my own teeth. He let his tongue dart out, swirling it fervently and sucking gently on my skin. It hurt, but I liked the sensation the pain gave so much, he could have gnawed down to bone and I would scarecly have taken notice. Then he kept moving downward, planting firm kisses between my breasts, around them, down to my navel-which he licked playfully, careful of my recent scarring- before reaching his destination. Removing his non -occupied hand from my hair, I noticed he could grasp almost my entire hip and thigh in one hand, and I liked the way it felt, to be his captive. That thought was strangely arousing to me in ways I wanted to keep exploring. I threw my head back when his lips found my wet center, having been distracted, and when his tongue slithered free of its home to meet my flesh, swollen and ready for attention- _I screamed._

It was high but clipped, and my hand flew to my mouth to prevent further exclamations- to little effect. The way he devoured the space between my legs was not nearly human- or at least, like none that had ever touched me this way before. It was as if that darkness inside of him, that void, that singularity of devotion, was finally aimed at something other than a goal of his one, true Lady. It was refreshing, it was sexy, _I wanted more._ One hand buried itself in his hair, guiding him deeper against me, and he began making low, murmering noises into my core that excited every nerve ending the vibrations encountered. He lathed my little button-like nib with his skillfull tongue, using it to paint circles on my skin, before sucking it gently behind his teeth. The sensation had me reeling, and before I could stop myself I cried out with urgency, _"Hubert!"_

At the sound of my voice, his own murmerings became more forceful, less deliberate, and the way he kept hooking his finger against the soft flesh of my insides was bringing me closer to an event horizon- that point of no return he was drawing me into; and once he pulled me down, there would be no escape. I would be his possession in that one instant. Even if only for an instance, he would own me, body and soul. Unluckily, that blade cut equally deeply both ways. 

His finger thrust into me to the knuckle then, just on that fine line between pleasure and pain that Hubert seemed to dance so well. I found I liked him dancing there, as a dark storm continued to unfold inside of me at his hands. Taking my little nib of flesh into his mouth once more, his tongue began pressing it more firmly- finally coming to match the rythm at which his hand toyed with me. It was all at once too much; I found myself unable to control my voice as it cried out of me in a string of garbled ecstatics. I let myself ride the powerful wind, and the looming thunderclouds of that dark storm, until they blew me safely back to reality, back into Hubert's quivering arms. I could feel sweat condensing at my hairline and lower back, chest heaving, as he slowly withdrew his slippery digits from my body. When I found my limbs would again respond to instruction, I drew myself up, pulling him back to me by the neck. I immediately stole his lips once more, forcing him to share my taste with me. It was tart, like the color of his eyes, as I pulled away from him to gaze at them. His breathing had slowed a considerable amount, and I saw his hand move just as it came to brush a dampened strand of my hair behind my ear. His fingertips brushed my cheek, and I shivered- feeling entirely too vulnerable, then. Hubert whispered, and it sounded different than usual. It was full of something I didn't notice could be there until I had heard it, and I failed to find it a mental comparison. "I suppose you'll be wanting to get some rest, then?"

With my defenses shattered by orgasm, I was sure the incredulity I felt showed in my furrowed brow. Did the man really think I was done with him? This sudden, closed-off behavior raised questions in me that would require eventual answers, but alas, then was not the time. I knew exactly what I wanted to fill what little of it I had left here with my spook, and I planned to execute it swiftly. Leaning forward further almost pushed my breasts flush with Hubert's chest, but I stopped just short of contact, letting the implication linger as I began working to free him of his trousers, as I had meant to do much earlier. He watched me with eagle-like focus, unmoving, functionally frozen. He almost seemed... uncomfortable. I stopped then, having gotten the uniform merely hanging loosely at his hips. Breathily, he asked, almost sounding a bit frightened of some unknown, "W-what are you doing Beth?"

 _Oh dear._ Hubert never, _never,_ used that nickname of mine- few students did- and it took a while for my heartbeat to return to normal from the seeming shock my body received at hearing it in his low, rambling drawl. I searched his eyes for whatever it was that had him so on edge, but he was highly guarding his emotions, at present. I decided to do no more than show him what I meant to do, and pressed my lips against his once more, quite softly. Air rushed out of his nostrils in a tinny hiss, as if he'd been holding his breath for a spell. One hand found his hip, pulling his upper body flush with mine. I reveled in the warmth and softness our chests brought to each other as I snaked the other one down his lower torso. He shivered, more air and small noises escaping him as my hand dipped lower- found his warm manhood with my fingers. Even half at rest, it seemed to go on for much... _longer_ than I was used to, and the thought of it being utilized in the appropriate places downright shook me, but I had other plans, just then. 

Pulling away from him, I nudged him downward, to the ground, not far from where he'd lain me to sleep. After our more recent time together, the sentiment of him tucking me in tugged at a part of me that was unfortunately best kept unstimulated. Especially by such a complicated individual- but the feeling was there, all the same. I distracted myself from it by slowly bringing my body down from the sofa to straddle him at the knees. He was still raised by his waist, but I urged him down further, making myself comfortable as I pulled his trousers down and out of my way. Stretched out, laid fully bare in front of me, the shadows from the then dimming fire accentuated Hubert's lithe physique, rendering it nothing short of excuisite to my eye. Propped up by only his elbows, he still looked as if he was unsure about the situation at hand. I noticed he was sweating with concern, and I wanted that uncertainty to disappear into oblivion; I intended to make it so. Hesitating no longer, I lowered myself to rest my lips upon that expanse of his groin that stretched between each protruding bone that bookended them- letting my tongue explore the area, teasing him with my teeth.

Hubert made a soft, "Mmph," and I found myself blushing when his head fell back, causing his dark hair to cascade back over his shoulders, now dry and wild as I'd ever seen it. Grasping his thighs in both hands, I caressed the ever-soft skin of his manhood with my cheek, before pressing the gentlest of kisses there. He twitched- in more ways than one, inhaling sharply. I let my tongue dart out, dangerously, teasing him with just the slightest sensation of warmth, and enjoyed the sight of the gooseflesh it raised on his arms and legs. Hubert was hardening quickly and he pulled his head back forward just in time to see me draw his growing length into my mouth with my tongue. It found its place there as if it belonged, guided by my tongue and lips- in his semi-full state he slid all the way to the back of my throat with ease- causing me to swallow, clenching him with my palette. The involuntarily action drew a loud noise from him, followed by an urgent, _"Goddess..."_

There was nothing for me to do but go on- pulling my mouth away from him, I moved my hair behind my ears and began using the residual moisture to work my hand slowly down his length, until my fingers met the flesh of his belly, then steadily up again, casually repeating myself, when I noticed that I found the thin trickle of dark hair that made its home between his navel and groin _desperately_ alluring. His full length now stood stark and ready for me as I kissed that area of soft little baby-hairs, before returning his swollen manhood to the silken warmth of my cheeks. 

Gasping, one of Hubert's hands flew to his brow, seemingly without volunteer, and I began to pull his length in and out of myself, using my tongue and hands to guide him. He was harder to take all the way in now, and I found that moving lower became a struggle, as Hubert's length bowed in girth shortly below the head. The way it filled my mouth and encroached into the back of my throat- slightly painfully this time- was a feeling I was quite unused to, but growing to enjoy immensely. Foolishly, I tried to draw him in further, but found it quite impossible once my lips came close to touching his belly. I decided to take it slow, just like with my hands, and drawing my face back up, I noticed Hubert staring at me with that intensity that seemed borderlined somewhere between fear, excitement, and concern. His breathing was labored, and I smiled up at him- a coy tease before going all in and swallowing him down once more. His moaning fell in time with each collision of his manhood with the very back of my palette, where there was nowhere left to go- I quickened my pace slightly, increasing the grasp of my hand as it pumped him just so. Without warning, he had come to grasp my free wrist so tightly the pain was jarring, but before I could react, his whole body seized as he released himself into me, screaming my name, _my full name._ His body began to relax, forming a clammy sheen from the effort, but his breath still came out in strangled mewls as I swallowed the warm liquid he spilled for me, using my tongue to swipe away the traces that may have been left on himself; like an animal, lovingly grooming a mate. _No._ That was dangerous thinking. Luckily, I wouldn't have to dwell on it any longer- Hubert seemed to have regained some semblance of self, breathing slowing down naturally. We were both silent for some time, until the heaving of my breast grew soft and no longer noticeabale. Finally, he spoke, and it was his own voice again- even, low, and nonposessed, "I am...sorry I was unable to control myself. I find this deeply embarrassing."

I reached out, wanting to touch his face, but he withdrew, continuing, "No one has ever done that with...no woman has ever done that for me before," he said, breathily. 

I was astounded. Sure, Hubert's charm was...an _acquired_ taste, perhaps- but I could scarcely believe he'd never been approached, or touched like that, by any woman before. _Namely..._ I couldn't help but follow that up with what I felt was an obvious question, "Don't you and Edelgard... _do this_ together?"

He stilled beneath me, saying only very firmly, "No."

The stern resolve with which he deployed the word made me question pressing him further, and so for once I didn't. Seeming to pick up on this, he breathed quietly for a spell longer, before saying, "I have been with women before, but none of them have ever...I'm sorry. I don't know why, but I'm struggling to speak to you freely right now."

My heart skipped in my chest, as I realized that was one of the most earnestly true things he had ever said to me about his emotions- or how he was feeling. Usually it was the primary way humans communicated, but not this one. I didn't know whether to be proud, or frightened that he was making such an effort to appease me, but I left it there. He wasn't looking at my face anymore, gaze reserved to its consort; the nuances of the floor. He sighed, finally mumbling in what was almost a petulant tone, "If I promise to discuss it with you another time, will you agree to get some rest?"

The fire was almost completely unlit at that moment, making it easier for him to dodge my eyes, and harder for me to read his. I removed myself from his person, allowing him to move freely, if he so chose, but lay a hand on top of one of his much larger ones, casually curling into a ball of limbs, sitting next to him. "You've been giving me your word an awful lot of late, Vestra."

Hubert glanced down at our hands, and I thought I saw his heart breaking, if that were possible. Just, the way his eyes and brows fell as they regarded our fingers splayed out against each other seemed dauntigly fragile, and evermore rare. His voice came out barely a whisper, and I thought I might have seen moisture building in the corners of his eyes- but he blinked hard once, and it was gone. Only then did he finally look at me. "Please, see that you do not abuse it."

I found it hard to meet his gaze after the way he said that, and for once, I broke eye contact first, as my hand withdrew from his, slightly. "That night in the courtyard, you asked me to promise not to trust you. How can you ask me not to break your trust, if I cannot freely give you mine?"

I had been wrong before- I truly witnessed his heart shattering upon his face, that time. Hating the very look of it so much, I found myself kissing him with the hope that I could make it go away. He returned my advances almost feverishly- in fact he seemed rather intent upon devouring my very soul through my mouth. Anything, I assumed, to avoid addressing the feelings attached to my question. I pulled away from him gently, tugging at his hands that had come to grasp my face, pulling them down into my lap. He allowed me to hold them there, though we both knew he had the strength to object. "If you make my promise, I will make yours. No more questions. I'll figure out how to feel about the rest later."

He began shaking his head, but he was making no move to speak. Finally, he replied "I no longer desire what I asked of you before, but I still offer you my promise. I-"

He stammered, frowning, and I almost thought he would start chewing on his lip with fret, but he went on, " _I feel..._ as though I owe you this."

He finished his sentence so slowly it had almost seemed as if the last few words were punctuated, perhaps by some trickling emotion. I didn't know what to say. Hubert was laying himself so neatly it was almost heartbreaking to me, but the blows were deadened under the weight of all I had been through of late. I couldn't help but ask him why he felt he owed me anything, to which he plead, "No more questions asked, tonight. Please, just, lie down with me. I fear..." trailing off again, he caught my gaze and held me there, trapped in that expanse of gold and green behind his heavy lids. "I fear you have bewitched me, teacher, and I find that prospect...exhausting. Insurmountable, even. Please, rest with me, I abhor being so worn down as to beg."

My brain shut down at the word, "bewitched," and all meaningful procees of thinking came to a halt. All I could do was nod, compartmentalize, smile, compartmentalize...and over again as many times as it took for me to fall asleep there on the floor in his arms where he had pulled us together- wrapped underneath the same curtain and cloak as before. The storm, ever-raging around us still, and the solid, warmth of Hubert's entire body wrapped around mine, was enough comfort to ease me quickly into unconscious.


	3. Pegasus Moon

I had dreamed of the void every night, after being ripped from this plane, and thrown into it by work of the monster, Solon's dark magic. It was an anxious, hopeless feeling that I found I had no frame of reference for. I wondered if it was what Kronya felt, when she disintegrated in his arms. My rage had gone away with her, despite having wanted her to die by my hand. Somehow what I had witnessed happen to her seemed worse, and that was comfort enough to me. The dreams, and that lingering anxiety that accompanied them, felt like floating. It felt like everything at once, and also, all of nothing at once, as if that nothingness carried weight. I suppose it did, if it was an echo of the power I had inherited from Sothis. Now that she was gone, I no longer got headaches, but found my heart aching for her guidance, and sometimes, when I was more lonely, her wit. Despite the ambiguity of her existence, I had come to think of her as a friend. The only thing that was truly my own- and now, a silence so complete, it seemed to house the loneliness itself. 

Everyone, truly _everyone_ , oozed joy at my feats- how I had sliced a hole in reality and returned to the battlefield looking a wholly new being. I had only done what was necessary to not cease existing; it half worked. I came back, but it didn't feel entirely like _me,_ anymore. Flayn, Seteth, and Rhea had all been particularly pleased by the physical changes, and I knew what this ultimately meant- that they thought me their new messiah- and I abhorred the very idea. I hadn't even begun to rectify what this could all possibly mean for me- I'd barely had time to eat, sleep, or bathe since the event in question. Flayn's piqued interest seemed innocent enough, though I was certain she was actively hiding something from me. I felt the same about Rhea- not that she was making a secret that she'd been hiding _many_ things from not only myself, but my father and Seteth as well, for some time. Seteth's new adopted attitude shift in my regard had me the most concerned- he called upon me _constantly_ , to check on my well being- even insisting that I meet with him once weekly- ever since I put my foot down on his initial idea of giving me a personal guard, similar to Flayn's. No way was some random, young, aspiring knight following me all over monastery grounds. I'd told him if I were really as powerful as the three of them thought me to be, I should be able to handle myself, at least for a few weeks. He remained firm, but eventually relented; I could tell in those emerald green eyes he too was hiding more from me than before. He regarded me as if I were some kind of precious thing, and a larger part of me hated it than found it endearing.

All of the academy students were vying for my attention now as well- not just my Eagles- and between seminars, private training, and mentally preparing for whatever it was Rhea had planned for me at moon's end, my personal grooming, among many other things, had gone by the wayside. The latter was exactly why I was headed to the student and faculty bathhouse, late that evening. I stuck to the shadows, carrying my robe close to my chest as the trees rustled above me, making my way down the stone pathways that wound toward my destination. Tucked away just behind the greenhouse, Garreg Mach's only public bathing facilities were fed by a warmer pool of the same water that made up its ever-popular fishing lake.

Entering the open breezeway of the building, I was glad the lamps were kept lit at all hours by staff, despite the likelihood of anyone being awake at such a late time; let alone having a bath scheduled. I could hear nothing but my own footfalls echoing against the stone floor and walls, as I passed by the entrance to both separate dressing areas- avoiding them purposefully- before making my way into the area of the building that housed the actual bath. It was much warmer in there- a heavy curtain of steam hung low above the blue green water- and my ears were instantly soothed by the aquatic burblings within. Inhaling deeply, I glanced around the space, but found it seemingly devoid of anything but the water, steam, and decorative piles of stones. 

_Perfect._ I began removing my clothing from coat to boots, leaving it all in heaps near the entrance. I wasn't planning on being there too long. Taking one last look at the room's lack of proper door, I decided to put and keep my robe on, lest I give someone wayward student an accidental show. The last thing I needed right now was gossip about whether or not the hair elsewhere had changed to match the hair on my head. Shaking away such thoughts, I dove into the warm, shallow water, and let it envelop me wholly in that moment. When floated back upward, breaking the surface, I slicked my hair backward, breathing deeply of the moist, tepid air surrounding me. I liked the way my robe felt as it clung to my skin, almost like a lover, while I tread to an area I could stand. 

Just when I found one, I felt that I shouldn't have let my guard down only a moment too late, when my conscious mind realized it had been under observation for longer than it took to notice. The triangle of skin on the back of my neck, tucked just under my new, lighter curls, was nearly vibrating with how close Hubert Von Vestra must have been then, hidden away in the room, somewhere. My pulse had quickened for an instant, until I was sure it was truly his gaze I felt, then I became relaxed in a way that probably should have concerned me more. Feelings of ease around Hubert were dangerous, but they were such that I was unfortunately becoming familiar with. This was in spite of exactly how furious I had been with him since our last parting, however. 

The urgent information Hubert brought up when he had apprehended me in the common room conveniently hadn't found my ears until the next morning- he had matters to attend to for Lady Edelgard, that would have him away from the monastery for many weeks- away, specifically when I needed him behind me, to help me _not_ get pulled into another dimension. He hadn't been to class since mid-Guardian Moon, and all of our private lessons had been discontinued indefinitely. Everything between myself and Hubert had been discontinued indefinitely, in the several weeks proceeding his announcement that day. In fact, we'd seen nothing of each other at all. His rejection after what we'd done; however irrational in its frivolity, was not so easily dismissed by the darker parts of me- the very same ones I found him stimulating with budding frequency. 

Surprising me yet again, he revealed himself from hiding quite quickly, as I heard his footsteps approaching me from the southwest. It was almost as if he could sense the shift in my body language when I came to the realization that he was nearby. I found that idea strangely alluring, but swatted away at the thought. I would not let myself be riled until other matters between us were settled. I turned, disturbing the water, and looked upon him for the first time in weeks, in the low lamplight- it seemed I would forever regard him that way, unless we strove to keep more company in daytime. Something niggling at a baser part of me indicated that was an unlikely prospect. I knew I was imagining things, but he looked older to me then, even after such a short span. His dark curls had grown out to near shoulder-length; his bangs would extend far past his chin if he hadn't had them tucked behind his ear, at the moment. It made me wonder if he was getting self-conscious about not having time to trim it. "What do you want, Vestra?"

I expected him to pretend the intent behind my words didn't burn him, but he didn't. I could read on his crestfallen face just how much not having been there for me when I needed him stung, and it took everything within me not to let that sight chip away at my heart, a bit. Hubert couldn't have known what would transpire when I crossed blades with Kronya again, but that fact wouldn't stop either of us from wondering what could have been different if he had been with me. 

I wouldn't be this freakish creature- some walking, talking, all-knowing Seiros reborn, in the eyes of the church, at least. I was alive, but forever changed; and since I had no way to know how to feel about those changes yet, I was conflicted about how to feel for the man who was, in a way, partially responsible for them. No matter what way one regaled the situation, having had my spook- so adept at his dark magic- at my side seemed a possible win I found myself unable to rectify, at present. I wasn't sure how much time or effort it would take, to do so, either. My shoulders had become frigid in their absence from the warmth of the spring, so I dipped lower, down to my neck, staying partially submerged. Hubert, fretting with his hands then, finally came back with a defeated, "I needed to see you."

I thought that was rich, coming from him, despite the lurch it gave my emotions. My glare was seething, and I wondered if it was as effective, now that my eye color had lightened so significantly. "Oh, and where were you when I needed you?"

His face fell further somehow, and usually I would have found that endearing, but tonight he was going to answer for what he had done; or rather, failed to do. Even if my anger was unfounded, it seethed there, in the back of my skull- though I couldn't say if it was for lack of being able to get through to him, possessiveness, or a combination of the two, anymore. "Surely you know I would have been at your back in an instant-"

My anger flared, and before I knew what I had done, my hand flew past the surface of the water and drew the energy, the very air, from underneath Hubert's feet, away from him with a flourish. He stammered as he fell, hip hitting the edge of some stone as he careened into the spring with me. I breathed heavily, letting the weight of what I had done come down- it was all at once vindicating, but still dread still swirled within, restlessly. When Hubert's head broke the surface and I saw the way his dark hair framed the piteous look on his face, I found myself melting for him over again, but not for lack of effort. It seemed he was drowning beneath the force of something other than the waves then, just as I was. I didn't know what he could possibly say to make right what had happened- though I wasn't sure why, until he spoke through his labored breathing. "I came as soon as I was made aware of what happened. I returned to Garreg Mach for you, and you alone..." he seemed to be waiting, and when I said nothing, continued, "...not even Lady Edlegard knows I am here."

His words gave me pause, and at the same time I knew they must be true. Something about the desperate air his voice took on, as he treaded water fully clothed, not so far from me, had me convinced of this. I felt some another kind of weight fall upon me, at the sound of those words- a weight I should have been aware of before then, had it not been suspended. It was only when I realized that I had handed this to Hubert- given him the ability to make me feel such a weight, and no one else, that I lamented. _What had I gotten myself into?_

My hand lashed out at him again, this time intending to bend the water against him, but some magic he had applied just in time stopped me mid-motion, and within an instant I felt my body drawn under the surface. I was enveloped fully by the warm liquid once more, involuntarily this time. I struggled to free myself for air, but I felt hands grasping me, arms surrounding me, as if they meant to strangle me- but, no- we were both above water again and I sucked oxygen deeply into my lungs. Hubert held me tightly as we both breathed laboriously, decrying, "I did not come here tonight to trade blows with you, Beth…," I softened at the term of endearment, and he continued, stammering, "I came here to...beg something of you."

We both knew he was in a position to beg nothing of me- other than the fact that I was his physical captive- I entertained him though, however petulantly, as my freshly drenched hair now hung limply in my face, coming dreadfully close to getting in my mouth. "What could you possibly want from me, Hubert?"

He released me from his grasp, allowing me to push myself away from him, and I moved to somewhere I could stand on my own again. He looked silly now that he was fully soaked, dressed in his road-leathers and cloak, hair clinging deftly to his sharp cheeks, just as mine was. "If I promise to tell you something true, would you stop fighting me, and listen to what I have to ask? I cannot turn back time and prevent what happened to you. This is all I have to offer."

"Fine," I muttered, crossing my arms over my chest under the water. Despite the fact he owed me several promises, I wasn't going to throw a freebie back in his face. Hubert's shoulders slumped, with what I assumed was relief that I didn't put up more of a fight. It made me wonder if my hard-headedness toward him was becoming overwhelming, which had me concerned. He breathed deeply for a few moments, before saying, "I wanted to ask you to dance, that night at the Rebirth Ball, but I was too afraid. I just stood in the corner, glowering at everyone else who dared to be happy, like a fool."

My heart leapt into my chest, as I wondered aloud, not sure if I was ready for the answer, "Why were you afraid?"

Breathing deeply again, Hubert began removing his fully saturated cloak from his shoulders, tossing it to the stone floor surrounding the spring as if it were nothing, with a wet flop- though its weight had obviously increased no small amount- then began moving toward me, leaving gentle waves in his wake. I fought the urge to respond, holding my place in the water. When he had almost come to where I stood, his hands dipped into his trousers, and he began removing the clothing that covered his torso, ridding himself of it in much the same way as his overcoat. I tried not to blush as I watched his fingers work, and was suddenly glad that the heat from the water had already turned my skin a shade of rosy pink. Finally, he explained, "I was afraid of showing Edie I could feel something for anyone but her, that _I did_ feel something...for you. Even then, I was afraid of you both, as I undeniably am now. That is why I am here," he said, dropping to his knees so we were nearly eye-level above water, continuing, "on my knees, in front of you, after you just could have killed me."

My eyes hadn't missed the angry, red marks that curved around his hip, licking his upper thigh- from where I'd tumbled him into the bath- just before his body sank beneath the surface, and felt furious with myself. Surely my aggression would leave a bruise. _How had I lost control of my emotions, like that?_ My hand reached out to brush the delicate skin of his cheekbone, and he sighed, leaning into my touch as I breathed a quiet, "I'm sorry, Hubert. I don't know what happened."

Hubert's eyes closed at his name, and I could just feel his lashes brush against my thumb. I truly hadn't meant to use magic against him...I was just so blind with fury. I'd been in such a state many, _many,_ times past, but I had never been so irrational as to strike out at an ally without thought. My breath caught in my throat as I felt our breasts meet, emmenating warmth together under the spring. I hated these feelings that he was arousing in me, almost as much as I hated wondering if it was he that had become so strong in his absence, or if all the weakness was truly within myself. My new self. Was it her fault, or mine? What was the difference between us two, anymore?

Hubert had opened his eyes, seemed to see how hard I was thinking, frowned as if that disturbed him, then pressed his lips softly to mine. I found myself melting into his arms and he held me there, just above him in the water, gently devouring my mouth. He tasted just how I remembered- tart even without traces of my womanhood lingering there- and earthy in a way that was somehow deeply comforting to my soul. Pulling away, almost breathless, he mirrored my own thoughts, whispering, "Nothing I have ever tasted has left me craving satiation so much as this."

He came to rest his forehead against my own- alarmingly, one of his hands found mine and they became one- but he closed his eyes against me, and I found it contagious, doing the same subconsciously. I smelled something sweet on his breath I couldn't quite place, and found myself wanting to explore him again to find it. Before I could stop it, my mind wandered, and I had begun to pry again, both to distract from the heat in his last declaration, and demanding what he promised me that second night we had been alone together, like this. "Tell my why Edie is not your lover."

Hubert swallowed, audibly, and I thought he would fall into one of his signature fits of silence- or perhaps another staring contest with the ground, obscured though it may have been- but he did not; ever surprising me with his willingness to respond when I deferred to authority. "Lady Edelgard will marry whomever is needed to further her goals. There would be terrible rumors- had we, or were we ever to be intimate- once she ascends the throne, and takes a lawful husband."

I knew there was something more at the heart of it, so I asked the obvious question, "Would she be in love with you if there were no thrones to seize?"

Pulling his face away from mine slowly, I wish I had never made him consider what I just asked. He wasn't frowning, but his face formed a mask so empty it hurt me to look upon. There seemed an open wound in his gaze as he murmured, "As I have no way to answer that, I must leave it to you. I think you know Lady Edelgard well enough to form your own theories on the matter."

Even his voice was devoid of emotions, and I was ever more sorry for causing him to cloister them away from me. Taking his face in both hands, I forced those citrine pendants to look me in the eyes- no longer of such a dissimilar shade from his. "Hey, don't do that. Don't shut down on me."

He glanced at me, and it was a pained thing; I watched stray drops of water escape his hairline and roll down his cheeks, as if they were tears. I didn't know what he needed right now, what he had brought me here to beg for, but I knew what I could give him. I wanted to unshatter him somehow, make all of the scars he'd so carelessly revealed to me fade, so I said something true- something I thought would help him, regardless of how we ended up feeling for one another, in the end. I whispered, so close to him my breath was upon his lips, "I see past your blind devotion to your name, Hubert. That's why I try so desperately to free you from it. I see through, to who you could be without Edelgard holding you back, and that person I see is _magnificent._ "

His hands had risen to encircle my wrists, trying to remove himself from my grasp, but I held him still, refusing to let him move without fighting me for it. His eyes were sad and frantic, among other, darker things, and I was surprised at how loudly he said, "How dare you say such things to me. My name is worth more than my life."

The force with which he uttered those words gave me pause, but I resisted, pressing on, like a cat with a bird's wing in its teeth. "I do dare," I replied with what I hoped was just as much force, going on, "I will continue to make you listen to every true thing I say until either I am no longer your commander, or one of us dies."

There was something like an odd sense of relief that crossed Hubert's unreadable mask at my words- as if death were a comfort to some alternative he had been considering. Quietly, he mused, "I would gladly die if it meant release from this spell you seem to have over me."

His large arms enveloped my frame as he drew me into him- instead of letting it force my head to rest upon his damp shoulder, I used the motion to reunite our mouths- pouring all of myself into him, body and soul. I knew it was a mistake, but I didn't care. I was tired of this game we were playing; it was starting to feel like we were playing for keeps, and we both needed to figure out if we were ready for that. Maybe I could help him, help both of us, do that. 

I sighed softly into his mouth, inviting him to indulge me further. Hubert responded in kind, tongue darting across my lips as his grasp around me tightened. My legs came to rest in a familiar place then- hooked around the back of Hubert's narrow hips- though he would scarcely have to struggle to hold me aloft now. I tried to be mindful of his injury as I settled my weight against him, enjoying the hardness of all that lithe muscle beneath his porcelain skin.

My robe felt like nothing between our two bodies, but I found my fingers were still interested in removing it. Every part of me ached to be closer to him, it seemed, and were all willing to aid in that ultimate goal. Somehow the idea of disappearing into him was even more appealing to me, now that I wasn't sure who I was anymore. Suddenly, I realized such a fracture of personality must have also been part of what was ailing Hubert's soul. If that were true, all I could do was hope this would serve us both, in some way. Whatever _this_ was. When they successfully saw my robe sinking beneath us, my hands went to work on Hubert's trousers as he hungrily devoured my mouth. He didn't bother asking me what I was doing this time, and I took that to mean he didn't mind my forwardness. I had unwittingly put Hubert ahead of myself in our little race by so graciously ridding us both of my clothing- one hand dipped lower, down my back and around the curve of my bottom, finding my lower lips with his deft fingers. I tried not to purr as he parted them gently, and completely abandoned all thought when one finger slid to the deepest, most warm part of me. My breath escaped my body in a puff of soft air against his mouth, and he captured it once again with his own, moving slowly to stand; hefting us both to the shallow waters' edge. He lay me down in the soft, burbling waves as they lapped at my hips, looming down over me, never having left my body. He peppered my exposed belly with soft kisses as he drew circles inside of me, pressing at my walls, my inner button. Suddenly his thumb came to rest just upon the petite mound of flesh in its little hood, and without warning, I felt a warm energy come forth from him, transferring to me in a sensation that had my legs practically vibrating. I mewled his name, and he must have taken pride in the effect he was having upon my person as he bent down, pressing gentle kisses between my legs, murmuring into them, "I love being able to draw these noises from you," just before I felt the finger within me start to emmenate with the same kind of energy his thumb had moments earlier. 

His tongue snuck around my folds in lavish circles and lines, and I sighed as the pressure started to build within me, quite literally at his fingertips. Pulling away slightly, just so he could capture my gaze, he continued, "And you're not the only one who's learned some new tricks."

As soon as he'd uttered the last word, the finger within me responded, as if on cue. The energy around it expanded at once, built within me, almost had me over my edge, combined with his agile mouth- but it dimmed and slowed- though he continued to work away at my insides. Then he began settling into the rhythm that had me as putty at his fingertips once before, and I became a shuddering mess once more, grasping at his wet curls with abandon. Even considering whatever magic it was that he just applied to me so adeptly, Hubert seemed to find it startlingly easy to get me to my edge and send me careening over it faster than any man I'd been with- many of them much older. I couldn't decide if that prospect thrilled or concerned me, and I suspected I would need time to find out. 

When my body was done clenching itself around him he withdrew his digit, and I don't know if he meant to stop himself, because I thought I saw a slight hesitation before his finger slipped behind his lips. The look in his eyes as it slid out, and back downward was terrifying- there I lay before him, so open, so _vulnerable-_ and he regarded me as if he were a wolf about to go for the throat. I almost thought he might, as he lowered himself against me once more, but all he did was hungrily reclaim my mouth with his. I accepted him with just as much fervor, drawing his lip into my own to suck and nibble on it gently. Hubert moaned and it drove me wild- he wasn't the only one who liked the noises we made together- and I angled my hips forward to grind my moist center against one of his legs, still covered in the damp fabric of his trousers. Hubert shuddered as my tender, warm flesh pressed into them, and I was just about ready to free him of what was left of his uniform when both of our heads snapped toward the entrance of the room. So it hadn't been my imagination- we had both heard footsteps. 

My heart began to race as I leaned up- Hubert had already dashed away from me and was diving for his clothes. We both heard a stark, "Hello?" echoing through the breezeway as the footsteps drew audibly closer. 

Hubert was out of the water by the time I was diving under for my own robe, and when I'd shrugged it onto my shoulders and broken the surface of the bath once more, he was gone. Wrapping the soaked fabric all the way around me and tying it back around my waist, I was still gasping when the main gatekeeper casually strolled into the room. He didn't seem nearly surprised enough when he saw me. His face brightened as he chirped, "Howdy professor! I thought I heard someone in here."

I replied, waving meekly, and watched him enter the water, dressed in his own bathing robe. "I'm actually glad for the company! I work double shifts at the gate most days, so I only ever have time to hit the bath pretty late."

If he noticed my clothing strewn about pretty obviously throughout the steamy fog, he made no sign or mention. He was friendly, good at his job- I really didn't need a reason to avoid him; or Seiros forbid, worry for his life. There was no telling what Hubert would do to someone if he thought there was a possibility we'd been seen together by them. I felt my heart sinking, and I hoped I never had to find out, as I made my way back to the more shallow end of the bath. "Sorry buddy, I was actually just leaving. I'm exhausted."

When he dunked his head under the water, I took the opportunity to dash around and grab the random bundles of fabric strewn about. As he came back to the surface, shaking his hair out, he replied, "Ah well, maybe next time professor. I'd hate to make you tired with your ceremony at the Holy Tomb coming up. Rhea would sure be mad at me, huh?"

Turning my back to him while water was still in his eyes, I began making my exit. I wanted to sarcastically thank him for reminding me, but it was hard to be even a little rude to such an earnest soldier, so I just said, "Sure thing. Catch you later!"

* * *

The heavy, wooden door to my dormitory closed behind my back with a loud _thunk._ I had done my best not to slam it in my haste, lest I awaken or draw attention from my immediate neighbors, but it was a stubborn old thing. Throwing my clothes into a heap in the corner, I began removing my robe, and disposed of it before patting myself and hair more dry with a towel that had been hanging nearby. I was still soaked, even after power walking there full speed in the chilly breeze like a woman possessed. Though this was actually, highly likely to be true, I didn't need anyone to see me in such a state; among other things. Getting myself as dry as possible, I began fumbling for a nightgown, or something to cover myself with, when I heard a loud, energetic knocking behind me. I tried not to scream when I heard one of the large windows to my room open, turning only in time to see Hubert's broad back and shoulders facing me, as he pushed and clasped it shut. My hand was over my mouth, and his chest was heaving as he regarded my bare body in the candle light from my desk. I noticed he hadn't bothered to put any clothes back on, and wondered where he had stashed them as he unwound and pulled my heavy curtains closed. I noticed he was still damp as well while I watched shiny droplets gleaming on him here and there, waiting for him to speak; he wouldn't have risked following me here if he didn't have something to say, and then I remembered. Earlier he said he'd come to beg me, but we'd gotten a little distracted, and ultimately interrupted. "What have you done to me?"

I was so surprised by his question I didn't immediately begin to form an answer, but he continued anyway, "I'm sneaking around, half exposed, flinging myself into windows, and for-"

His hands were moving through the air, animated; and he seemed to realize he was having a tantrum only moments after I did, but he clearly had no intention of entertaining it, further. I had been willing to give him a smidge longer. His hands fell to rest at his hips as he said, "I apologize. I've no clue what's come over me."

One hand had moved to worry at his brow as I closed the distance between us, making the decision that picking up where we left off was more thrilling a prospect than trying to answer his question. My heart had barely a chance to slow its frantic thrumming since we parted, and I found that I selfishly wanted to keep it there for a little longer. I reached out for his trousers, pulling our bodies together as I did so, and began working them down his hips. I carefully slid them away from the one I had injured; swollen and marred now, it stood stark against his white skin. I brushed one finger gently against it and he sighed, seemingly without volunteering the sound. Refusing to let him capture my gaze, I bent downward, placing the gentlest kiss to his inflamed skin, as if only the sentiment could heal it. It was far too minor to waste magic on- he'd been hurt worse in training- but I was still feeling sorry for having done it, nonetheless. He seemed to notice the confliction cross my face, because one of his large, cold hands came to meet my warming cheek. "If I promise to consider it atonement for my absence, will you stop regarding me with such worry? I am not so fragile."

I looked up at him then, and I caught myself smiling. Why was he so worried about me worrying about him? Did it really bother him so, to see me that way, or was it merely low self-esteem, I was seeing there? His eyes darted around my face in response, moving almost alarmingly quickly, as if he were waiting for the smile to morph into something else. It did, but only a darker, more abridged version itself as I held his gaze, silently, then began moving to sit down at the edge of my bed- grabbing one hand of his as I passed. He trailed behind me wordlessly, until I sunk down onto my blankets and began pulling his pants all the way off of his legs. Reaching up to grasp his neck, my fingers found the shortest part of the dark hair there and began gently tugging him toward me, drawing my feet up and off the floor. Hubert stepped out of his trousers and came to rest his weight on the bed with one knee. One of his hands bore the rest in its place as just above my head, as I lay beneath him, hair splayed in a turquoise crown around my face. The other had come to grasp a fistfull of skin that made up my hip and thigh, where barely a mark of my own wound was left. I pressed my lips to his once more, reaching down as our tongues danced- I was a little surprised at how firm Hubert felt when my fingers encircled his swollen length, and pride soon had my cheeks darkening. I worked him gently, making him sigh sweet nothings into my mouth, until I pulled his manhood to rest just upon my pillowy center, so moist and ready for him- then he froze, pulling away from my face. My hand held him there against me, but he refused to let himself be moved any further. Breath shuddered out of his chest, then began to form words. "I can't... _we_ can't continue this, Beth."

I didn't let the intent behind his rejection sting, only continued stroking him gently with my fingers, relishing the feeling of his soft foreskin pressed against my tenderest flesh. "You want to."

It took some effort for him to control the evenness of his tone, and it seemed he was achingly hard beneath my fingertips as he breathily stammered, "What I want matters not, at present."

Increasing the pressure behind my fingers, I scooped him up from beneath and slid the head of him up the length of my womanhood slowly, then back down again, pausing at my slick entrance once more. I found his gaze with mine, pleading him with my eyes, whispering, "I want to."

I felt heat rush to my cheeks as they flooded with more color. I'd exuded confidence in the statement, but I was still caught off-guard by the amount of earnest I heard in my voice. I had a bad habit of getting caught up in my own games, and not realizing how ahead of myself I had become until it was too late. I had a feeling deep down Hubert struggled similarly. Refusing to let the silence stretch between us any longer, I angled my hips so that he would continue sliding into me, little by little, unless he moved to stop one of us. I watched as the skin over his clavicle stretched thin with the effort it took him to control himself and steady his breathing. He was shaking as his descent continued, but he hadn't moved away, so I kept on urging his considerable length inward. As the broadest part of him began to gently stretch me, I sighed, letting my eyes flutter closed at the indulgent sensation of him filling me even just so. The thought of more aroused me further, and I pressed my hips forward again- this time he slid past my entrance, through to a deeper part of me, and we both cried out in surprise at how fast he had become fully sheathed. His fingertips clenched at my hip bone with bruising force, and I cried at the sharp sting of his nails digging angry crescents into the flesh there. My eyes were wide, but still somehow heavy-lidded as I gasped, getting used to the feeling of him pushing at my walls, stretching toward the very center of me. He withdrew his body slowly, shaking harder, and when he looked into my eyes again, I felt gooseflesh chill its way along my arms, legs, and belly. Nothing had ever regarded me the way did then, as if he wanted to both destroy me, and capture me forever all at once. I found that he could have initiated either in that moment, and I wouldn't have had the wits nor the ambition to stop him. He moaned my name, louder than I had ever heard him, as he slid himself back in- with much less resistance than before, hips meeting my inner thighs with a satisfying sound. He let some of his weight fall against me, and my arms came to encircle his shoulders- his hands held both of my hips now- controlling their rhythm to match his own as he thrust them own toward me, harder and harder.

I felt him pull back far enough to brush at my entrance and I cried out, moving a hand to my mouth to quiet myself as the other began strangling itself with his hair once more. Hubert's own voice had quieted but not ceased- in fact, his stammerings had increased in urgency as I hooked my legs tightly around his back, giving him less control, less room to pull away from me. He rocked back into me shallowly in response, and I ground my hips upward, forcing his navel to come in contact with my swollen mound. The action drew shuddering sounds from both of us, and Hubert's arms had come to encircle me, holding our bodies together tightly, movement never slowing. 

My teeth found his shoulder and bit down there, harder than I had meant to, and Hubert let out a meandering gasp into my hair. I could feel the soft peach fuzz on his lower belly dancing against my swollen entrance, causing the friction there to increase to an almost intolerable constant. No one had ever managed to make me feel so satisfyingly full, to make my nerve endings light up with the pressure of tmem sliding so deep inside of me- deeper it felt, than even Sothis had ever been- and she had resided in my very soul. Suddenly I felt her fill me, too; as if just thinking her name might summon her, but she spoke not, only lingered just beneath the surface of my conscious. I let her flutter there, watching that dark, brooding creature devour me whole; and then she intervened, possessing me to regain some semblance of control. My body moved, compelled by her will, to lean up, and I pressed gently against Hubert's chest with one hand until I could urge him to fold underneath me as he watched, breast heaving- never letting myself slide from his grasp. I sighed softly as my body settled around him, and I regarded the dark halo of waves that framed his sharp features, pressed back into my sheets; now a mirror of where I had been. Nothing I had ever seen before seemed so satisfying as that sight did to me then, and I leaned down to capture his lips once more, keeping myself balanced with hands pressed firmly down where his shoulders met his neck. He began mumbling softly against my lips as my hips started to move, up just slightly, and down again, at an angle that drove my little nib right back into his navel, where I wanted it. Sothis' influence faded slowly, as if she were no longer concerned. I wanted to wonder why she had come and left so abruptly in the first place, or if it was even her, but Hubert began moving his hips in time with me, halting all intelligent thought. The urgent hiccup it drew from me was soon joined by more garbled mewlings as the frequency of his thrusts intensified, try as I might to conceal them. If I wasn't careful, someone would hear us for sure.

There was a distinct slapping of myself against Hubert's hips when he began driving mine down into his in time with his movements, knuckles growing white with the effort. It took only a few more moments of this synchronized dance for me to come undone again; I fell to his chest, floored by the intensity of my orgasm as it came crashing up through my body, and seemingly through my mouth. Sparks danced in front of my eyes, light and dark, as I only just I stopped myself from screaming his name- my breath flew out of me instead in a rushing noise that sounded vaguely like an animal being slaughtered.

The urgency with which Hubert stammered, "M-my Goddess," was still music to my overstimulated ears, but his movements had far from slowed. 

His muscles twitched, clenching in his arms and legs; it felt almost as if he was seizing beneath me with the effort it took not to push harder, press deeper, _go further._ Even I wished there were further for him to go, that he could crawl inside of me and stay forever, but we would both have to settle for this. One hand had tangled itself in my hair, keeping my face pressed tightly into the skin of his chest, while the other pushed downward at the small of my back. "Beth...Beth I, Beth I…"

Trying to speak was awash it seemed, but I suspected what he was trying to convey. Pressing a kiss to his ear, I drew part of it into my mouth, sucking gently, making his breath hitch in his throat, then I whispered, "I want you to come for me, Hubert."

The noises he began making can only be described as frantic whimpers as his hips bounced spastically two, four, six more times, and then he held me faster than ever, body tightening and freezing completely. He didn't cry out, but every breath shuddered out of him dramatically, audibly, like a captured thing as I felt his length swell and twitch inside of me. It went on for longer than when I'd had him with my mouth, and I relaxed into his body, enjoying how indulgent his juices felt as they freely pooled between us. Hubert's arms relaxed around me, but his hold never relented, even when his manhood withered gently away from me, now at rest between us. 

Our silence continued well after our breathing had slowed, as we came down from our euphoric high, and the weight of what we'd just done started to settle. As always, when my anxious mind activated, my body did so with it, and I drew myself away from the bed to find my towel from earlier, using it to clean myself as much as I cared to deal with. The irony of having become so filthy only after my first bath in a week was _so_ not lost on me, but the greedy satisfaction that still pooled low in my belly kept it from irritating me too much. 

When I turned to make my way back toward the bed, I noticed the back of one large, delicate hand had come to rest on Hubert's brow, obscuring his face from me. Perhaps he was just tired, but the way his lip quivered when I sat back down next to him on the bed had me convinced otherwise. Lovingly, I touched his hair, whispering, "Is something the matter?"

The air left him in a long, quivering sigh, but his hand didn't move. His breaths were so still now I could barely see his chest rise and fall. "If I were to say everything, would you think me childish?"

He laughed at himself, and before I could respond, continued, "What a stupid question. Of course it's childish."

I had never seen Hubert essentially talk to himself before, but I supposed it couldn't be helped. It wouldn't make him feel better to say that I didn't think it was childish- that I could empathize with his feelings exactly- so I didn't. Pulling my legs up onto the bed, I wound my arms around them, laying my chin on my knees. "What did you come to beg of me tonight, Hubert?"

His throat bobbed as he swallowed- I found that dreadfully alluring- and his hand finally began to slide away from his forehead. Then those lemon-bitter eyes were a mask once more, but he seemed ultimately relieved that I had asked. They regarded the nothingness in the corner of my ceiling as he softly rasped, "Lady Edelgard has made me aware that she intends to ask you for aid. It is impossible to delve into specifics, but know this much- you _must_ agree to what she asks."

_What in all of Fòdlan?_ I had no idea how we had come this far to be all the way back where we'd started, it seemed; making more allowances for Edelgard _everloving_ Hresvelg. I fought the urge to tell him to leave my sight immediately, and streak back to the second-floor dorms for all I cared. Sothis, or what was left of her as an individual, seemed to be peering up out of my consciousness again then though, she was urging me to listen, hard. I focused again, but was still unable to come up with anything other than, "I can't just do that Hubert, without knowing what she's going to ask."

His eyes were cold, still devoid of visible emotion, as if he had known I would say something similar, and came back with an immediate, "Of that, even I am not sure. But you must hear her plea, whatever it is. I beg of you."

I frowned. Sothis said to listen, and I was listening, but surely he understood what he asked of me was alarming, if not obscene. "I can agree to hear her request Hubert, but on my honor I won't promise my word until I know what she wants. Know that nothing you can say will change that."

Finally the mask fractured, cracked and then slipped from his face. The future he gazed upon then must have made him altogether miserable, but he continued peering toward it, instead of me, as he whispered with finality, "Something told me it would come to this."

I was starting to get frustrated with him. "If you knew what I would say, even if you begged, then why did you come to me?"

Hubert clenched his jaw shut then, eyes gleaming with moisture, as if he himself truly did not have any idea. He swallowed, and when he loosened his jaw again, his voice was the faintest breath on the air- softer and quieter than I had ever heard it. "I had to try something."

The sound of his words broke my heart, and I clung to my knees, turning to face away from him, for fear my own even keeled emotions would begin to unravel if I kept watching his do so. Then it continued fracturing as Hubert went on, tenderly, "I am sorry to be so frank, but...I _cannot_ lose you. With exception to Lady Edelgard, there has never been another being, living or deceased, that has made me feel like such an event would also result in the loss of a large part of myself."

I let out the breath I had been holding, fought to remain calm, and I still couldn't look at him. I didn't know what to feel, let alone what to say. Hinging at the waist, he raised himself, arms coming to grasp my face in his hands. I let him, but I was still unable to meet his gaze. It was too striking, too greedy for mine, even from the periphery. I felt that power tingle from the tips of his fingers as it had upon lower parts of me, and I paused- it felt like the sharp, humming beginnings of an electric shock. Suddenly I was a little frightened, and I forced myself to look into his eyes as then, he held me there, captive. "I think I know you well enough to know I'll get no decision from you tonight, but please, hear what she has to say. Listen to her."

He paused, and it seemed as if he were stabbing me with his gaze, almost, as he continued, "She truly does respect you, Byleth."

I softened, if only slightly, and felt myself nodding to him. The fear had subsided just as quickly as that strange, vibrating curl of energy from his fingertips had- morphing to exhaustion, both partly physical, and most certainly mental. He released my face and drew me into a deep embrace, pressing his own tenderly into the crook of my neck as if he could disappear there. After all, if the only thing I was willing to agree to do was listen, there was little more to be done. I moved both of us back downward, curling up in the space between Hubert's arm and chest, pulling some form of covering over top of us. He made no move to stir past that, though I couldn't help but wonder how we were going to get him out of my dorm, sight unseen, in the morning- what must have only been a few hours away, by then.

  



	4. Pegasus Moon II

I noticed the candle on my desk had burned to barely a whisper when my eyes opened to meet the overwhelming, violet blanket of darkness in my room. It came to my immediate attention that Hubert was no longer lying in bed with me, but had come to sit up with his feet on the floor, and seemed to be thinking intensely; both hands were white on his knees, but he'd made no move to rise further. I was sure he'd been quiet as death in his attempt not to disturb me, but unfortunately my tendency toward light sleeping had only increased since my merging with Sothis. My free hand rose to meet his shoulder and it was warm, as if he hadn't been awake for very long. I peeked at the sliver of faint, purple light emerging through my drawn curtains- sunrise wasn't quite out there, it seemed. I drew myself upward to cup the still-bare back of Hubert's body with mine, and he sighed into my breast as one hand found his, and laced their fingers. I pressed my lips to his ear, whispering, "Stay with me."

Hubert inhaled, chest expanding outward, and I could almost hear the emptiness rattling out of him as he replied, "You know I must go."

My heart fell, sour as the color of his eyes. I didn't want this to end- I wanted us to be able to go on as if this were some frivolous, uncomplicated tryst- but I knew the truth of the matter at hand to be quite different. Hubert was correct, leaving before the dawn could better illustrate our sins was the most intelligent course of action for everyone involved. Despite all of this being clear to me, I found myself greedily pressing my lips to the corner of his mouth; daring him to resist my advances. Hubert was just as weak as myself it seemed, because he turned into my kiss, pulling me half into his arms. There was such a desperation in the way Hubert devoured my mouth that I almost felt timid in its wake. I felt consumed by him, letting him urge me downward, distracted by the soft pressure of his tongue mapping my mouth and lips, until I lay vulnerable beneath him once more. I found the weight of his large form trapping mine comforting, indulgent, even- but not so indulgent as the way his hardening length felt pressed into my hip. I cried out softly into his mouth when Hubert ground himself down and into me, using the friction he found there to pleasure himself. Just as I began to let go, lose myself in the way our bodies felt when they danced, as they had the night before, I thought I heard Sothis calling my name, just at the edge of my consciousness, as was her custom. I kept listening as we kissed, realizing only too late that Sothis wasn't saying my name over and over, or saying anything at all- she was _knocking,_ it seemed. I froze, thinking that was impossible, and when my brain finally started functioning more fully, I realized it hadn't been Sothis at all. There was someone physically knocking on the door to my room right then. I nearly threw Hubert off of me as I launched myself away from the bed and toward the pile of clothes by my door. He had somehow managed to land on his feet without stumbling, and as I fumbled my still-damp robe around my body, I motioned for him to stay quiet and out of sight. 

Taking a few deep breaths, I glanced behind me to make sure Hubert wouldn't be visible, wherever he was, and slowly opened the door wide enough for my face. If nothing else, I was trying to protect my own decency– it was far too early for anyone expecting me to be both out of bed _and_ presentable. To my surprise, it was Dimitri Blaiddyd and his retainer Dedue standing there, at my threshold. Dimitri and myself were on friendly terms, despite the rivalry between our houses– he called upon me often to give seminars to the Blue Lions in my free time, and we had trained privately a handful of occasions– but I could see no reason for he and Dedue to be ominously looming in my doorstep this early in the day. Just then I remembered something...unfortunate, something I wish Hubert and I had been more worried about last night, despite our discretion and the stone walls between us; Dedue had recently moved into the dorm next to mine. Suddenly, I felt a little sick and feebly breathed a greeting at the two.

They quite literally loomed, to a greater effect than Hubert when together, it seemed– His Highness's brute strength was well concealed, even to himself, I had found– but Dedue made no effort to appear non imposing, not that he would have been able to succeed if he tried. I expected Dimitri to look ashamed, or perhaps even demure at my clear state of undress, but his azure gaze met and stayed upon my face with a force that was striking. "Professor. I am so sorry to call upon you at this hour, but, is it possible to speak with you privately?"

I glanced over Dimitri's shoulder to try and get a read on Dedue, but his gaze rested solely upon the upper corner of my door, in the empty space of my bedroom that was visible. I fought the urge to close it further, but remained calm, remembering Hubert was behind and away from me. "I suppose I have no reason to decline, seeing as I am now awake," I chirped, implying that it was they who had done the waking, "but you'll have to excuse me for a moment. I am far from decent."

Dimitri did an awkward little half-bow, finally appearing aware of his folly, mumbling, "Of course, how thoughtless of us– of me."

I nodded, shutting the door heavily before bounding away from it to my closet, whispering to Hubert urgently, "You must wait until we leave to make your way."

He only nodded in response, as I threw on some spare clothing that hadn't been sullied or wet. Before I made my exit, I crossed the room, trying to make my footfalls as light as possible. Hubert's arms encircled me when I leaned upward, accepting my lips against his one last time. He sighed quietly, and I whispered, "Be mindful. Dimitri and Dedue seem on their guard."

I didn't wait for him to reply before turning back toward the door, sliding outside of it, and closing it firmly behind me in a whoosh of air that disturbed Dimitri's uniform slightly. I was immediately concerned when I noticed only he was left waiting for me then; glancing around, I asked "Where is Dedue?"

I thought I saw something cross Dimitri's gaze, but I didn't know him well enough to be sure if it was worrisome. It was soon replaced by a light blush of apology, but even that seemed less genuine than the first. "I am sorry again. We weren't sure you would be awake. Dedue and myself were headed to the Knight's Hall, but I was hoping to speak to you before lessons begin."

I glanced around, but couldn't see very far in any direction in such an amount of light, so I couldn't be sure of his honesty. Forcing a smile, I offered, "I suppose I could accompany you there, while we talk."

Dimitri's ashen blonde bangs fell slightly into his face as he said, "I would like that very much." 

His smile stretched wide, and the warmth of it caught me off guard. Offering his arm did so as well, but I slid mine into the opening as if I had been expecting such. We began meandering slowly toward the Knight's training facility of Garreg Mach, and my mind had just begun its usual anxious frenzy when Dimitri finally spoke again- not too loud, we were still within the courtyard lof the less noble residential area. "I have actually been wanting to speak to you for some time, Professor. You see, I haven't been able to avoid notice that despite having chosen to personally mentor Lady Edelgard's class, you don't seem to share a very friendly relationship with her. And now it seems she has been avoiding her studies altogether, is that correct?"

I was immediately more wary of Dimitri's motivations now that it appeared he found my relationship to Edelgard suspect- especially in light of Hubert's recent request. I was taken aback that he'd made note of it at all; though I supposed it was my own fault for being dismissive of the future king's intellect. In honesty, I had almost made the decision to lead the Blue Lions, and Dimitri himself, before ultimately selecting Edelgard's group, when presented the choice. I had seen something of myself in all three candidates at the time, so it really came down to me wanting to pursue my own personal strengths as a teacher. Though only recently aware my crest was the primary reason, I had always showed a preclusion to magical arts. In Edie's class, more than one student wielded magic as a weapon- aside from Hubert, Linhardt, and Dorothea, even Ferdinand showed a budding knack for it- and Edelgard herself had cause to learn its offensive capabilities in and out, if she wanted to be on the front lines of real battle. For these reasons, I deferred to guiding the Black Eagles. It took me a moment to form an answer for him, and I hoped my suspicion didn't read on my face as I said, "Edelgard is a hard one to get close to, she makes no effort to hide that."

I decided to leave his notice of her more recent absences hanging- no reason to give freely the information that she and Hubert were apparently busy with more Emperial goings-on than usual, if she hadn't seen fit to volunteer it to anyone herself, including me. I only knew because of Hubert, she had left the absences wholly unexplained to me, up until that point, though they only numbered a handful. It wasn't enough for me to formally bring it up to her, in any case- not that I was particularly interested in initiating any kind of conversation with her, especially at present. Dimitri was silent, expectant for more, so I continued, "But you are correct. I've found it...markedly difficult to bond with Edelgard, relatively speaking."

That seemed to please him in some way, but he didn't immediately respond. The light around us was quickly turning from purple to a smoky orange, as the sun began its ascent to the horizon, not quite surpassing it, as of yet. We had taken the path around the fishing pond and through the stables, where there were a few individuals just arriving to care for the monastery horses. Dimitri and myself nodded to them as we passed by, and if any one seemed disturbed by the sight of us together, none of them had a noticable reaction, and I found myself relaxing a bit as we continued what was left of our stroll. It was nice to be able to walk arm-in-arm with someone in public without worrying what anyone would think, or who they might tell. Dimitri seemed equally jovial as we closed the space between ourselves and the entrance to the training grounds, where there were a few of the more battle-focused students making their way to ccombat training before class. We paused just before the door, and Dimitri unhooked himself from me, bowing at the waist. I immediately missed the warmth of his arm. "Thank you for escorting me, and for your time this morning, Professor."

Reaching into his breast pocket, he withdrew something that shimmered silver and purple, even in the low light of morning. I inhaled, sharply. It was my mother's ring; the one I had left in Jeralt's office all those weeks ago. Holding the tiny circlet out toward me, he said, "This is the real reason I felt it was so urgent to call on you. I stumbled upon this on the second floor recently, and I couldn't help but assume that it should be yours, considering its location."

I regarded the thing for a few moments before sighing, plucking it from his hand, then sliding it onto my left index finger. It was a little tight there, but I could fret over what to do with it later. Right then, all I could think to say was, "Thank you, Dimitri. That was very kind of you."

I didn't bother to ask why he had been in Jeralt's office to begin with; there could have been many reasons, so I left it there, merely grateful I wasn't the one that had to make the final decision to retrieve it, or not. Dimitri surprised me when he laid a heavy hand on my shoulder. He'd tried to be gentle, but he was stronger than he knew, and I had to put effort into maintaining my full balance. _Maybe I had chosen to guide the wrong person, after all?_ Shaking away those thoughts, I looked deeply into Dimitri's eyes as he spoke, giving all of my focus to the man in front of me. "I know what it's like to lose a father. I wanted to give you time before I returned it, and also before offering my full condolences. I also know how tough it can be, being their target, despite the well-meaning intentions behind them."

I thought him to be awfully self-aware for his age, and status, in that moment. He was making me second-guess my assumptions about him at every turn, this morning. Before I had time to consider that further, Dimitri spoke again. "In any event, Dedue will be hunting for me if I don't make my way soon. If I'm not being too forward Professor, I would very much like to meet with you after your ceremony at the Holy Tomb is over with. Perhaps over dinner, or tea? I would...like to check up on how you're handling all of your new, um...changes."

He seemed flustered then, and I couldn't tell if it was because he was struggling for words, or something else. Reluctantly, I accepted his invitation, and as he was walking away, I called to him, "You shouldn't worry about me so much, Your Highness. I am not so fragile."

I had parroted Hubert's words back to him without thinking, and his face grew pink- an awkward little boy's smile stretched across it, as he waved feebly goodbye, disappearing into the corridor that lead to his destination. Finally, my body relaxed, though there were significantly more people milling about, with the sun then having breached the horizon. A million other worries clouded my mind as I made my way back to my bedroom before class started, but I forced myself to swallow them, for the time being. I needed to focus on today's lessons, and hopefully track down Hubert so he could debrief me on his escape from my dorm. I wouldn't be able to sleep until I knew for sure no one had seen us sneaking around together- or at least, as sure as it was possible for me to be. 

* * *

Lady Edlegard's fierce, violet eyes shone bright in the light of mid-morning; her hair rendered nearly white in the sun, before becoming several shades darker as she strode confidently into the Black Eagles' classroom. Confident, and late. I paused the start of my lecture only briefly enough to force a smile, and she took a seat by herself in the same far, sequestered corner she and Hubert haunted together- but as it had been for many weeks, he was again, markedly absent. I'd made a promise to myself that I would focus soley on the whole of my students that day, and not prioritize the whims of she and Hubert- but her tardiness, among other things, had me decisively on edge.

After class I sat, only half-focused, tutoring Caspar on the basics of strategy, when Edelgard approached my desk from her perch at the back of the room. Her clean posture was intimidating, as always. "Professor," she glanced sideways sharply at Caspar, before continuing, "may I have a moment of your time?"

Mentally preparing myself for anything, I nonchalantly nodded to Caspar, who shrugged, heading back to his table to begin gathering his things. I didn't think much of what I was trying to impart left any lasting impressions on him- everyone had been less focused for some unknown reason it seemed, of late. I didn't know what to think about it, and honestly, wasn't the first party one might ask, given how much I currently had on my plate. Frankly, I hadn't been expecting Hubert's ominous warning to come to fruition so quickly. Folding my hands on the desk in front of me as the large, heavy doors creaked shut behind Caspar, leaving just I and her tucked within the space, I inquired, "What can I do for you, Edelgard?"

Her face was completely blank, gaze hard, and bright as always. "You may find this an odd question, and do forgive my forwardness if I am mistepping, but...I have quite a large favor to ask of you."

My eyebrow quirked upward, but I otherwise tried to appear neutral- apathetic, and uninterested. "What is your request?"

Edelgard looked back over both shoulders, silvery hair following behind with each motion- as if she were worried we were being watched, or listened to. Then, breathily, leaning closer to me, she stated, "You've confided in me your mistrust of Lady Rhea before, and I share that same sentiment. My question is, would you accompany me to Adrestia in her stead, so that I may ascend the throne in the wake of my father's declining health?"

I was immediately both floored, and suspect of her query; what she'd said was undeniably true- I did hold my mistrust of Rhea close to my heart, but with good reason. Reasons concerning my father, among other things, and it wasn't information I was interested in divulging to the young woman standing in front of me. First of all, her reaction to Tomas and Monica's revelations as our enemies seemed oddly staged, or at the very least premeditated. Secondly, it seemed to me she was being incredibly blasé about such a heavy subject as becoming the sole leader of her family's territory. I pinched the little square of skin between my nose and eyes, trying to remain unbiased, and not let resentment foster for one of my students. Lastly, it was a little alarming that Edelgard thought it appropriate for me to substitute the Archbishop of the Church of Seiros in a legal ceremony of succession- a young, former mercenary turned unlikely professor seemed an odd choice, even considering my recent metamorphosis. She had an angle, I was certain of it; Hubert wouldn't have made such a production of the matter, if she didn't.

And so I responded the only way I could think, by splaying my fingers out and shrugging, slowly. "You know you're my best student, Edie. I chose you personally between Dimitri and Claude. I've watched you grow so much in the many moons I've known you. However...I just don't find anything about this appropriate. I'm suspect of Rhea's motivations, but that can be said for many others here at Garreg Mach." 

Edelgard's face fell, as it often did when she was disappointed, but her posture never faltered- in fact, her back seemed ever straighter as soon as she'd felt the sting of my denial. "You didn't seem suspect of Jeritza's intentions, until the evidence against him was insurmountable. Even until the day he disappeared, the two of you were often seen together, if I recall."

My face froze; completely blanched in front of her. Jeritza had been a mistake, and I'd know it as soon as we'd begun spending time together. That fact hadn't stopped me from continuing to see him, in my first collection of moons at the monastery. Though I began to worry he might have ulterior motives for residing as a professor there after only one night together- I had just been thrust into a new environment populated by those who had lived lives very different from mine, and I found comfort in Jeritza's odd quips and penchant for silence. I was also drawn to something about his gaze that was both familiar, and relaxing. I hadn't been able to place it before his disappearance, and ultimate revelation as a literal villain. Despite the fact that Edelgard's implication of my motivations was incorrect- I simply didn't have enough evidence against Jeritza to act until it was too late- her words still stung with truth. Suddenly I felt more tired than I had in days, and I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly before giving Lady Edelgard my best blank face. For some reason, it didn't feel like it was worth the effort. "You're correct. I should have seen Jeritza for what he was. Just like a woman who was ready to lead a country should have seen Monica's true intentions, given their proximity."

I let just how much irritation I had over the subject spill into my gaze as I continued, "My personal missteps notwithstanding, that doesn't make it okay for me to go over Rhea's head. She is the leader of this institution- you're asking me to risk my life, Edie. I simply cannnot do this for you."

Those periwinkle pools on her face hardened into cold gemstones- not so unlike the ones glistening in my mother's ring on my finger- and I almost thought I saw hatred in them, but refused to entertain it. Surely, she was just pouting, and she was going to have to get over it. She had quite a bit more to learn if she found herself presently ready to rule an empire, failing health of her father considered or not. Clearing her throat, she stammered, "I-I'm not sure what to say. I would be lying if I told you that is the answer I expected..how unfortunate. Good day, Professor." 

Her cape rustled from the speed of her turn, heels clicking sharply on the stone floor as she hurried out of my classroom. I felt a headache coming on, and didn't know if it was Edie, or just the fact that my lecture had run quite long, and I'd not eaten a meal all day. I needed to figure out where Hubert was, and find a way to talk to him without Edelgard skulking about. I wasn't sure if he was even still there- he'd made no formal announcements to anyone that I had heard of- but if he was, and Edie was aware of it, I was certain she would be throwing him a private tantrum as soon as the opportunity presented itself. I decided to let her have her time to marinate in the rejection; I needed to eat before anything else.

Lazily, I left any supplies I had brought from my room at my desk, gathering my overcoat and sliding into it, then made my way through the courtyard to the dining hall. A few familiar faces smiled as I passed by, and when I entered through the open doors of the cafeteria, one of Sylvain's many, many girlfriends apprehended me. For the love of Seiros, I had no idea why they kept pestering me- we'd never been together, though he'd pleaded with me a little more desperately than I thought necessary. I wondered what Sylvain would have to say if he found out what I had done with Hubert, or Jeritza, for that matter- and kicked the thought from my mind immediately, before told the poor girl if she was interested in that red-headed terror, then she was in for a lot of days like those. 

Petra found me in line for a bite, and we returned to a table where Ingrid, Dorothea, Linhardt, and Annette were all clustered. She had decided on fish and vegetable skewers, while I had settled with my usual selection of whatever that had been put together by whomever was on kitchen duty that day. "Have we intruded on some kind of double-date?"

I prodded the the four of them, but Annette truly looked nervous at my jest, and even cleared her throat, giggling awkwardly; causing Linhardt to ask if she had forgotten to chew. Annette's face turned bright red, making it pretty obvious whom that one had eyes for. Soon after, Ashe came around the corner with a tray, making himself comfortable next to Petra. So it wasn't a double-date then; I was the seventh wheel. And not even in the fun kind, who knows exactly whom is spending the night together. I ate and talked with them for a while, but found myself growing weary, from such a long day, and oddly lonely- despite being surrounded by friends and comrades. Bidding everyone farewell, I made my leave early, and Raphael hit me up for my scraps before I could even make it to the trash can.

The air had cooled a considerable amount during what felt like a short meal, and I clutched my coat to my arms tightly as I made my way back to my dormitory, through the chilling breeze. Just as I reached the door, I realized I had left my key in the classroom, and would have to return there once more. Cursing myself, I made the relatively short trek back to the academic buildings. The Black Eagles room was empty, dark, and the air a bit stale, as I swung the heavy door open, leaving it ajar for light. Making my way to the front of the room, I began to rummage through my bag of school related items, and my fingers came across just about everything but my room key, when I heard the door close heavily behind me. I startled, turning around to face only darkness due to the lamps being out for the day. I could think of only one person it might be, so I tentatively called out, "Hubert?!"

I heard heavy footsteps advancing, but stayed low to the ground, as there was no direct answer. Hubert quickly revealed himself however, darting out of the shadows, and scooping me up, off of the floor and into his arms. I returned his embrace, found it alarmingly easy to melt into the front of him- though I was surprised he was so well met, considering the conclusion of my most recent conversation with Edelgard. Pulling away, it almost appeared to me as if he were beaming. That did have me alarmed- Hubert rarely smiled if it wasn't dripping with sarcasm or malice- but he looked truly pleased to me then, nonetheless.

Before I could continue fighting to figure out why, he whispered, "I thought I might find you here," before leaning down and pressing the gentlest of kisses to my lips.

I sighed softly against his mouth, and he pulled away once more, breathing, "Caspar told me Edelgard asked for your time after class, today. I fear words cannot express my humble gratitude, that you would heed my warning."

I startled at his words; how had he gotten the idea that I had agreed to Edelgard's proposal? Had she not seen him since we spoke, and he merely assumed no news was good news? It seemed awfully unlikely to me that Hubert would could have managed to apprehend Caspar while avoiding Edie's notice, but I could think of no other explanation. I searched his eyes, trying to discern where his truth lay, and decided to proceed with caution. "Do you know what she asked me to do, Hubert? You said you 'couldn't delve into specifics,' but, did you have any idea what she was going to ask of me?"

I saw fear in those acidic little pools of his, for an instant, and that alone had me convinced perhaps he didn't know, so I continued, "She asked me to go over Rhea's head and formally crown her as Adrestia's Emperor."

Hubert pulled fully away from me then, but still held my arms- he was regarding me intently, searching my face for something. I expected anything but what he uttered. "You must tell me what you said to her."

I shrugged out of his grasp, and found myself getting slightly irritated at how oblivious he seemed, when he was usually so on top of everyone, and everything, even me. Especially me, sometimes. "How could you not know what I would say to something like that, Hubert?"

He looked frantic then, grabbing my arms once more- not too hard, but still firmly enough- and his rasp was breathy as he asked, "You said yes, correct," then stated more forcefully, "Tell me you told her you would help her, Beth."

I removed myself from his grasp again, taking a step backwards that time, and crossed my arms over my chest. I truly couldn't believe my ears. I knew Hubert was Edelgard's loyal devotee, but surely even he understood that even the very idea of what she had presented to me was insane- completely out of the question. I wasn't saying Edie didn't have every right to her title and throne, but I also wasn't about to start a coup against the Archbishop of the Church of Seiros in her name, either. Despite my misgivings about Rhea, she had done much for me- and by no means did I trust her, or condone some of her methods- but there was no way a sane person would think nothing of what Lady Edelgard had asked me to do that day. I tried not to glare, because I wasn't angry, yet- only truly befuddled by the man in front of me. "Agreeing to her terms would mean risking my life, Hubert. Say what you will, but she is your Lady, not mine. I do not trust her with my life, and I will not hand it to her on a silver platter."

I was surprised that he advanced upon me again, given my body language was purposefully anything but welcoming, but he did. He surrounded me with his arms, his whole form, held me almost too tightly, as he said, "I know it is a daunting prospect, but you must go to her, and tell her you've changed your mind. You may not trust her with your life,"

Hubert pulled away gently, lowering his face to mine, and he had come to cup my cheeks in his cold, sprawling fingers, as he whispered so close to my lips, "But you can entrust it to me. Know that if you agree to help her, to help us- that I would lay my own down to protect you from Rhea- from anyone, who dared to consider tarnishing your presence with their paultry threats."

His words stung, whether or not they intended to. It had been the longest of days; only getting longer, and I was starting to feel a little overwhelmed. "But only if I help Edelgard?"

His hands stayed frozen in place, but his gaze fell; I captured it with mine and forced him to look me in the eyes. His silence was damning, and the longer it stretched, the deeper it cut. I had no one to blame but myself, for overestimating the sliding scale of Hubert's intelligence, versus his devotion to his retainership. I opened myself up to the hope that I could coach him, and got tangled up in a messy emotional web in the process. It was an unmitigated disaster, and I wouldn't entertain it any further. Removing his hands from my face, I pressed them back into his body, and kept pushing until he lost his balance, had to take a step back. He looked confused, hurt, panicked- maybe other things, but I was shutting myself away from him. I didn't need to read him anymore, at least not tonight. Maybe not ever again. "Get out, Hubert."

He let out a long sigh that seemed to fill the space around us with its weight, but didn't move to leave. I could feel moisture stinging the corners of my eyes, but it was too late to blink them away- they would surely spill. So instead I pushed past Hubert, not caring that I never found my door key, saying, "Fine. I'll go."

I expected him to try and stop me just before he did turn, grasping one of my wrists lightly. He was being awfully presumptuous about how comfortable I was with his touch, lately, but I supposed that was my fault, too. How had I let everything get so out of hand? Lowly, evenly, I told Hubert to let me go, similarly to when he'd held me in the Goddess Tower courtyard. His grip on my forearm only tightened, and he quickly drew me back into himself. My smaller body crumpled into his like some kind of deranged paper craft, and I struggled against him. "Please, Beth. Please do this for me. I..."

He trailed off, breath escaping him in a quivering sigh. When he continued, it didn't sound as if he'd decided to finish saying what he'd just been thinking. "If you do this one simple thing, I promise everything will start to make sense quite quickly. All will be revealed if you just tell her you've changed your mind."

With my face pressed into his chest, I could barely breathe, let alone speak, so I pushed against him, hard, grunting. He let me break away, and I could feel how red my face had turned- it wasn't due to arousal, or even exertion, as was our usual custom- this time I was angry, and exhausted, and about a million other things- so I cracked. "You must truly have the mind of an infant, to think that not only would I consider doing this for Edelgard, but that you can just go around begging and intimidating everyone around you to make sure she gets her way."

He looked like he was hurting, but I didn't care, anymore. He needed to hear what I was about to say. "I understand that it's your job to make sure she gets everything she wants, Hubert. I understand she has had a difficult life. But I also understand that she has radicalized you beyond redemption, and I won't let you do the same to me."

I let my words hang heavy in the air, hoping he would seriously consider the weight behind them. I wasn't going to act simply because it was what they both wanted. I knew of no one I trusted so much, anymore- not since the passing of my father. Hubert and his consort would be the last to benefit from what little trust I had left in me. Whispering into the space between us, I said, "Leave me alone."

I couldn't help myself- I sniffled, reflexively wiping at my nose with a free hand. Hubert's back seemed to straighten at the noise, and I got the sense he was trying to penetrate me with his gaze, so I turned away from him further. "Beth, please," he said, taking a step forward, and I followed by taking half of one back. Suddenly the idea of him touching me seemed a punishment, or joke. 

"I don't want to see you anymore," I breathed, before I could stop myself.

He froze, and I looked up at him, then- though I could scarcely read his face. I wasn't sure I wanted to, at the moment, so maybe that was for the best. All I could tell as that he was most likely staring at the span of floor between our feet. Feebly, he reached one of his arms forward and I swallowed, finding myself oddly compelled to let him take my much smaller hand into his, bringing it up to meet his pale lips. I almost thought I felt them quiver before he pressed them lightly to the skin reverse my palm. 

Hubert murmered, "Farewell, Professor," softly before releasing my hand into the air, and turning on his heel. The tears only started to spill over my lashes once the heavy door to my classroom had closed a final time.


	5. Pegasus Moon III

"If we don't return to the monastery soon, I fear you're going to have to carry my lifeless corpse the whole way back."

It was sunny in the flea market that morning, and even Annette- whom I theorized had a bit of a crush on Linhardt- no longer dared to walk within earshot of the whiny-savant's mewlings, so I was the only one close enough to him to roll my eyes skyward. "Lin, we've only been here an hour. Besides, once we get back, you can go hide in your room, or the library, and skip the feast altogether. We both know you're going to do it anyways."

Linhardt turned to me then, voice perking up as his moss-colored hair gleamed in the daylight, "You see professor, it's instances like these that have me convinced you possess some form of precognition."

I grinned, shaking my head. When it came to matters of Lin's 'weak constitution,' my hunches hardly borderlined the precognitive. Linhardt and I both stopped progressing when Petra yelled, "Everyone, come and be looking at these devices! They are similar to ones we are having back home!"

Ferdinand, Lin, Caspar, Dorothea, Mercedes, Annette, Ashe, and myself all came to meet her at a stall that housed a wide variety of supplies for cookery. Petra had been on the hunt for pans that were made a very specific way- more similar to the ones from Brigid- that were better for more evenly heating fish over a fire, according to her. I myself had never been very skilled, or even well taught in the field of food preparation, so I marvelled at those who took it up as a hobby. I was even more excited to try dishes conceived in a land wholly unknown to me, but the unfortunate truth was, Fòdlan lacked some of the most important spices and other components that made Brigid cuisine so special, so with the help of Ashe's haggling skills, we were making due for her when able. I watched as Petra's violet brow furrowed over which pan she deemed more suitable, when her eyes lit up, and she chirped, "This looks much like the one owned by the mother of my mother!"

Smiling, I nodded at her, handing the older shop owner what was owed out of our class treasury, and we continued wandering around for the various items we had been searching for- some for a feast to be held that evening, some not- including an expensive honey-mead Ferdinand insisted upon for after-dinner toasting. Dorothea was on the hunt for cosmetics meant for me. She'd tried to coax Ingrid out with us to help, but could only manage to get her to agree to sit in and watch the event unfold, later. I had decided to let her do this because the feast was being held by Rhea and Seteth, in honor of the revelation I was to receive in just a collection of days. I wasn't really in the mood for a grand celebration, but I was placated by Seteth assuring me I was welcome to retire when all of Rhea's pageantry was through. One perk of his extra concern for me lately seemed to be his insistence upon my getting rest whenever I was able. 

The chances of my taking up his offer only increased as we made the trek back toward the monastery- though moderate in length, there were little clouds to shield us from the sun's penetrating gaze, that day. It was warmer than usual, for the season, but I took it as a sign that the more harsh spell of weather we had been through was beginning its turn. Though I was virtually raised in the outdoors, I still found I had little constitution for anything but the mildest of temperatures; fall and springtime were my home. At least my dress for the evening would be cool enough- Rhea insisted I borrow some of her ceremonial formal wear, and wouldn't be budged on my donning them for both the festivities tonight, and the revelation itself. I didn't usually mind gowns, but the styles and decorations of the two she had presented me were a bit...antiquated, to say the least. Still, I knew how to pick my battles, and saw no reason to start one over a few dresses. I selected the one that looked more comfortable for the revelation itself, as I imagined I would be spending more time in that one.

Hours later, with only a few more remaining until dinner, I sat at my vanity, in the gown for the feast. It was a long, shimmering white slip, with gold adornments on the bodice and collar. I had narrowly avoided having matching tiaras thrust upon me by Rhea; Seteth helped me convince her that would appear just a bit too formal, and she reluctantly concurred. I was barely comfortable with 3/4ths of both of my legs showing through the high slits in the fabric of the dresses, I was not about to put a crown on as well. Mercedes, Annette, Hilda, and Dorothea had dragged Ingrid to my room to teach her how to do makeup, using myself as the subject- but Dorothea did most of the teaching, while Hilda fussed at her own appearance, Annette did her best not to spill or ruin anything, and Ingrid's body language conveyed to me clearly that she really wasn't too involved in being their student. After Dorothea had finished blending some pigment into my cheeks, she asked me to turn around. As I did so, Annette's hands flew to her own, eyes lighting up. Mercedes smiled, warmly offering, "Oh my!"

Hilda and Ingrid had both gasped, the former more boisterously than the latter, making me immediately self-conscious. Hilda quipped, "Wow teach, you clean up nice," holding a small mirror in one hand, and her own pigment in the other.

I didn't exactly trust her to be honest with me, but Ingrid's reaction had me more relaxed. Her verdant eyes were soft, and they gleamed from behind her wheat colored hair at me as she said, "I have to admit I am floored...I don't usually put much stock into all of this girly magic, but you look gorgeous, Professor."

Dorothea beamed, flipping her Chestnut curls to the side, proudly stating, "See, Ingrid? I knew you could learn a thing of two from us femmes."

I almost thought I saw something like embarrassment fall across Ingrid's face, but it disappeared as soon as she noticed I was still looking at her. Turning to the mirror above my desk, I inhaled sharply when I saw what Dorothea had managed to do for, what I had once considered, a face better left unfussed over. The dark lining around my eyes made them appear larger, and wider. My lips shimmered, and somehow boasted more fullness. So did my cheeks, as they stood out, pink and flush, from my jawline. My lime sorbet tresses were swept back and around in loose, casual waves that still somehow looked fancy. Though I'd vetoed the tiaras, Hilda managed to convince me a complete lack of hair accessories was a big fashion no-no, and let me borrow a pretty, golden pin that matched the intricate gold lacing on the gown. I found myself agreeing with Hilda and Ingrid; Dorothea truly had a talent for cosmetology. I couldn't help myself, I stood up and drew Dorothea into a hug. I hadn't realized just how down I had been feeling until I noticed how happy looking at a prettier version of myself in the mirror could make me. It seemed so trivial and unimportant, but it brought the group of us such a strange, contagious joy that I couldn't bring myself to question it. 

After the girls had changed into their dinnerwear, and finishing touches had been applied to the lot of us, we made our way to the main entrance hall, where the feast was being held. Seteth apprehended our group in the courtyard, and I smiled, waving goodbye to all of the girls as he took my arm gently, separating me from the students- I was to sit at the head of a grand table with Rhea, and other important officers within the Church of Seiros. It was an intimidating prospect, to be sat next to so many weighty names in the church, in front of everyone I knew, but it was again, insisted upon. I was happy to have the warmth of his arm; despite the heat of the day, there was still a breeze cool enough to give me chills that evening, in my state of dress. Seteth seemed to notice my gooseflesh, because he pressed himself closer to me, and away from the wind. I found it oddly endearing, accompanied with the worried look in his ocean-deep, green eyes. "I can find a cloak for you, if-"

I shook my head, touching his forearm with my free hand. "I thank you, but don't trouble yourself over it. We'll be inside soon enough."

He nodded and had begun speaking again, but something just out of sight caught my eye. Turning my head, I saw silvery waves of hair moving through the river of other students, and my heart leapt into my throat. Edelgard had been doing her best to avoid me completely since her ridiculous inquiry for my help was denied, and though she still attended lectures through the week, I was wholly surprised to see here there, tonight. "Professor Byleth?

I turned back to Seteth, only just noticing we had reached out destination. "Hm?"

His great brows furrowed for a moment, and his eyes seemed search over my shoulder, for whatever had caught my attention. If he succeeded, he made no show of it. Only murmuring, "I said that you look quite lovely in Rhea's dress. I find the style suits you."

I smiled, trying to make it reach my eyes, and found myself bowing slightly as I thanked him. All of these religious political formalities were starting to rub off on me in a concerning way. We would just have to agree to disagree over them suiting me. 

Despite the great number of friendly faces in front of me, Edelgard's periwinkle gaze stood out like a lamp in the darkness, and it seemed she never deferred it from that of Rhea. Rhea spent some time announcing my accomplishments, going over my time there as a professor, and her ultimate decision to put me through one of the Churches most holy ceremonies. I only half-listened as I watched Edie regard her intently; I had been able to predict Rhea's intentions for me before I merged with Sothis, I didn't need to rehear her justifications. Between Jeralt's cryptic way of speaking about her, and my own, independent research since coming to the academy, I had all but discerned that Rhea meant for me to be a saint, of sorts; and this fact had something to do with why my father spirited me away from the monastery after my birth. Until I found out why, I would never be able to fully trust Rhea, however, I could see only gains on my part by going through with this for her; especially if it helped me get my own answers. 

When Rhea was finished speaking, our meal was served, and when everyone had stuffed themselves full and merry, the church's small orchestra began to play music softly, so people could dance or socialize. Taking a sip of the honey-mead Ferdinand had just brought me a congratulatory cup of, I noticed two things taking place across the room. First of all, Edelgard was rising, for the first time since her arrival- and just before I could worry about if she was headed toward me or not- Dimitri stood in the center aisle of the great hall, and held a glass high, plinking on it with a dinner knife. "Excuse me, everyone!"

Dimitri's voice boomed through the hall, as if he'd even needed the glass- all music and merriment ceased in momentum- including Edelgard, still fixed standing in the corner of the room. When all was quite settled, Dimitri bellowed, "I wanted to personally make a toast to Professor Byleth. While I can only speak for myself and the Blue Lions, I assert that she had been an inspiration to all here at the officer's academy."

A couple of rowdier individuals- such as Caspar, Sylvain, and even Claude, among others- clapped, whooped, or hollered at his statement, and I smiled wide, hoping the makeup rendered my natural flush less apparent. I knew a lot of the kids looked up to me, but it was a little overwhelming to see all of that support laid out in front of me in one room. The support of one person was now noticably absent; though I had been too distracted to watch her leave, as I glanced around then, Edelgard was nowhere to be seen. Had I heard the door close?

Dimitri raised his glass once more, finishing, "A toast to Professor Byleth, that her revelation be blessed, and she may continue her tenure here at the academy!"

Every one in the room holding a glass met as many neighbors' as possible. Others were cheering, clapping, saying things like, "Hear-hear!"

I demurely took a sip from my own glass, meeting Dimitri's sapphire gaze from across the room. He nodded to me, and I raised my glass forward to him- a private toast. He returned the gesture, and as I regarded him, I read his lips say, _"You look stunning."_

I smiled, and we both drank again. Certainly I had misunderstood him. Dedue caught Dimitri's attention, and we broke our gazes. As everyone carried on, I couldn't help but scan the room for Edelgard one last time. 

* * *

I was drawn to the festivities for longer than expected; in fact there were probably more students retired to their dormitories than there were left in the great hall still enjoying themselves, as I meandered passed my own dormitory toward the pond. It was late, but there would be no lecture to wake up for tomorrow, and I felt like I could stand the frigid breeze in this gown long enough for a pretty, nighttime stroll before bed. I found fresh air always helped me sleep more soundly, especially when I had a lot to think about. The grounds were quiet as death, the further I walked. I could still hear the odd cackle or parts of loud conversations from back toward the feast and noble dormitories, but they dwindled as I curved around the greenhouse, to a little garden and sitting area right outside the bathhouse that I found not many people deferred to. It was almost never shaded during the day, so it wasn't the most comfortable spot unless you happened to be a night owl, like myself. I mindlessly passed the little stone seat nestled in the enclave of shrubbery and small willow- though I had intended to perch there- until I became distracted by the night sky blooming over the tall, stone partition behind the greenhouse, where the mountain steeped off sharply.

Resting my arms upon the fence I sighed, then breathed in the clean air flooding over it from the open landscape beneath me. I had never been overly afraid of heights- in fact they calmed me in a near supernatural way. Perhaps I should have been frightened of them, but I was coming to realize being calm in dangerous places was a hazardous subconscious habit of mine. As if on cue, the nape of my neck began prickling, and my heart couldn't decide whether it wanted to jump into my skull, or sink into the pit of my stomach. Why was I having such a hard time figuring out what to do? I wanted to move, and I didn't. I wanted him to leave, and I didn't. Hubert was certainly behind me, but I hadn't heard him approach, so I was unsure of how close. Or maybe, I was imagining things, and someone else was there; maybe it was no one at all. Breathing in deeply the crisp air from the mountainside, l called to the emptiness, "I told you I didn't want to see you anymore."

The wind whistled loudly through the trees, but it was the only response I got for some time. Then, clipped footsteps on stone, before they became muffled by the soft grass behind me. I sighed, wondering if it was Hubert I smelled then, or some sweet, musky flora nearby. If I stayed still, maybe I could keep pretending no one was there, indefinitely. Finally, his low rasp meandered out of his chest and into the night, as he said, "I could be petulant, and point out that you're not quite 'seeing' me, but I think both of us are past base games of semantics."

I couldn't read his tone, so against my better judgement I turned, just as the breeze gusted my hair and dress around haphazardly. I fussed with them both, smoothing the gown back into place, before finally looking up to see Hubert looming, as always. His coffee-colored waves were to his shoulders now, and almost touching the leaves of the willow tree in the small garden- all lean muscle, with his arms over his broad chest. Or at least, they had been. They slowly dropped to his sides as he regarded me in the moonlight, and though I searched, I couldn't figure out what emotion was behind those sour eyes of his. I almost asked him what he was staring at, when my real question should have been why was he there, instead of at Edelgard's side, and in my pause he murmured softly, eyes earnest, "You look like a true Goddess."

I had been expecting anything other than the words he just uttered. For some reason, his were the only ones I took to heart, of all I'd heard about my appearance that evening. I tried to push back at the way his statement made me feel, but it wouldn't stop encroaching on me. Feeling suddenly self-conscious, I drew my arms to my chest, staring down at my bare legs and sandals. I was suddenly colder than before, or maybe I had only just noticed the temperature had dropped even since the end of the feast. Finally, I was able to whisper, "What do you want, Hubert?"

I saw that he was dressed more formally than usual- he wasn't wearing his fur cloak, but his attire suggested bedtime wasn't in his near future. I fought to stay still as he advanced into the moonlight, arms remaining folded as he stopped some amount of space ahead of me, but made no move to reach out. I sighed away a breath I hadn't even known I had been holding, somehow relieved that we were still apart. "I won't bother wasting our time begging you to change your mind for me, as you've made desperately clear that will not come to pass...but I do ask that you at least hear me, tonight. It may be my last chance to make our case."

Sothis perked up at his words, and even though I had been inclined to walk away from this conversation since its start, she compelled me from the back seat to remain put, and so I did. Hubert seemed to soften when I made no move to leave, and nodded, continuing, "Lady Edelgard was going to give a speech at your feast this evening. She intended to convey her respect, and perhaps sway you to her cause, but when Dimitri intervened-"

I interrupted him, irritation beginning to settle in my turquoise gaze as I spat, "Sway me to her cause, Hubert? We're supposed to be on the same side!"

I intended to go on, but Hubert stepped forward, laying his heavy, gloved hands on my shoulders. I thought I saw desparation in his eyes as he stopped me mid-thought, saying, "She believes Dimitri has radicalized you against her. She was going to wait until after your revelation to return to Adrestia, but now she has ordered our departure posthaste. Tonight."

I was too floored to react to his unnecessary grasp of my person by many aspects of what he'd just said. How had Edelgard gotten the idea that Dimitri and I were plotting against her, and what about that changed when she decided to go ascend her throne? So many things didn't add up that I could practically hear Sothis buzzing in the back of my mind, frantic words I would never be able to fully understand again, now that we were one. "Dimitri gave a very nice toast after dinner, but I still can't fathom how Edelgard got the idea-"

Hubert's eyes cut downward to my hand, and mine followed, finding nothing to land upon but the silver and purple circlet around my finger. I tried to figure out why he would take notice of the thing at all, when I remembered exactly how it had made its way back to me. My heart sank. Hubert's voice rumbled low, and evenly out of his chest. I could feel it vibrating through his hands as he said, "He gave that to you, the morning I hid behind your door, did he not?"

Hubert wouldn't look at me, and for a moment I considered just how many things he must have been led to think about Dimitri and myself, given the information he had. However unlikely it was that the prince and I had fallen in love while plotting against Hubert's princess- it was impossible the thought hadn't crossed his mind, given the clues. I didn't really care who Edelgard thought I was sleeping with, but I had conflicting feelings when it came to Hubert's thoughts on the matter. Mindlessly fiddling with the little thing using another finger, I had a thought, but it came out a little too bluntly. I caught his gaze and held it, whispering, "Are you jealous of him?"

The violence with which Hubert reacted had me floored, and I thought I heard Sothis crying out as his large hands clamped down on my arms tightly. He pushed me backwards, almost stumbling me, into the wall that overlooked the mountainside, then began shaking me wildly. I cried out quietly, and even he was careful not to raise his voice, but I could feel the force behind his words as he nearly yelled under his breath, "Do you have any idea what you've done, Beth?!"

Before I could react, Hubert had taken my hand, and was trying to pry the ring away from it, as if he wanted to look at the thing for himself. My eyes widened, and I pulled my arm back as hard as I could. Hubert lost his balance for a moment, and I used that moment to slam my open hand into the side of his face, with all my strength. I was left gasping, holding the hand the ring was on in the other, and I felt an acute pain in both the arm I had struck him with, and the one I had used to struggle away from him. I couldn't believe what had just happened, and regarded Hubert as his hand finally fell away from the side of his face I had assaulted, hair a frazzled, messy halo around his gaunt bone structure from the impact.

There were angry lines and puffy splotches marring his cheek, and Hubert's eyes resembled narrow little crescents as he stared blankly ahead of him. I glanced around, making sure we didn't have an audience, and cried, "Are you insane?! This is my father's ring. Dimitri was kind enough to return it to me."

Those little crescents of malice widened then, and he turned to me, reaching a hand out, but I stayed put. "You and Dimitri, you're not..."

I couldn't believe he still didn't get it, so I continued, "No, we're not seeing each other, and no, we're not plotting against Edelgard. Not that it's any of your business-"

Hubert advanced upon me again, only dropping to his knees with a heavy thud, in the grass. I let him wrap his long arms around me, coming to encircle my back, as he mumbled into the front of my dress, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened, I thought-"

I pushed him away from me gently, so I could see the citrine shine of his eyes. My breath caught in my throat, as I realized there was moisture there, in the corners, glistening in the moonlight. I was still taken completely aback by his actions on the mere assumption that Dimitri and I had been together, but I found the thought softening me to him. I hadn't meant to be the one to make anyone react so suddenly, and violently. I also found myself remembering an occasion I had lashed out at him similarly, in anger. I decided to return the understanding he had paid me when I was the one in the wrong, and let it slide, for then. I did feel the need to convey one thing to him, though, now that his Dimitri balloon had deflated. I took the side of his face I had struck gently in one hand, and he leaned into the coolness of it. Brushing a thumb across one protruding cheekbone, I whispered, fighting to keep my voice even, "I won't change my mind."

Hubert sighed through his open mouth, as if he were going to speak, but in the end he just pressed his face into my belly again, grasping my hips and dress in futility. One of his hands moved south, down the curve of my back and behind one of my knees. My balance faltered, and I had to shift my weight to grasp Hubert's shoulders in order to not fall down. It seemed he had other plans, because he took all of my weight in his arms and pressed me into the grass beneath us, and the willow tree. My view of the courtyard and pond was dampened by the shrubbery that now surrounded us. Hubert had me trapped under his body, hands splayed above my head, fingers laced in some of my hair, severely restricting my movement. I couldn't see his face in the dark, but his chest was heaving in what seemed like desperation as he breathed, "You must," so forcefully I felt his words warm on my face. 

Before I could try to respond, or fight him him away from me, he lowered himself to press our hearts together, and I found myself accepting his mouth and tongue just a little too readily. It would be untrue to say I didn't miss the way this felt, the way _he felt_ , despite how angry I still was about the situation with Edelgard. I had said I didn't want to see him again, but the way my body was responding to his told me perhaps I had spoken too soon. I rolled my hips up, grinding myself against his thighs and groin- eliciting a choked kind of groaning noise, from Hubert's mouth to mine. I hungrily devoured him with my tongue, drew his lips into my mouth, kissed at the edges of his cheeks, his chin, his neck. I found I didn't care that we were out in the open, in fact, the thought was almost thrilling. I was harldy chilly any more, despite Hubert's hands pushing up my dress on either side of my legs, bunching it up toward my waist. Following his lead, I reached down, moving my undergarments off and away from our bodies. I expected him to take me then, but he stalled, leaning away from me to remove his gloves, instead of his trousers- slowly, finger-by-finger, as if teasing me. He lowered one hand to my center, and immediately I felt energy spring from his flesh, transferring to mine with vibrations that almost felt like small, static shocks- but with no accompanying pain. I cried out into the night, and Hubert lowered his free hand gently to my mouth, before casually sliding one finger inside of me with the other. I was lucky to have his help muffling me, because I found I had little control over myself at his fingertips, buzzing with magic as he used it to make me feel frantic things, low in my body, where he'd invaded. 

Hubert curled his inner digit upward, and I couldn't help my back bowing with the agony of pleasure, only forcing his finger deeper, his hand closer to my skin. My legs found each other behind his back and hooked themselves there, only drawing us closer. Hubert's gaze was filled with a greedy haze of lust that had me reeling, and then the pressure low in my belly began to increase. My breathing, and soft cries against the flesh of Hubert's hand became more frantic as he continued vibrating energy against me, inside of me. I reached out to grasp his shoulder, draw him closer, and then the rush came. My legs tensed around his hips, as my inner walls clenched his warm, wet digits and I could hear even Sothis crying out what sounded like Hubert's name. It was a strange feeling, but it skittered away from my focus as I felt myself riding the tumbling waves of my orgasm back down to earth. We were both gasping, and I could see in what little light there was that his trousers were stretched tight across his manhood. Almost before he had withdrawn himself I leaned up, going to work at the clasps of his pants immediately. He looked down at me urgently, but seemed conflicted. I had him free of his bottoms when he lay a hand on my shoulder, asking for my attention. His breath came out in a muffled cry when my hand found his length, and he stuttered, "We cannot...I shouldn't have... someone will, _eungh-"_

I blushed at his garbled uttererances as I drew his bountiful length into my mouth, leaving him slick in the wake of my tongue. I didn't care if he was having second thoughts- he'd started something and one of us was going to finish it. Still working him with one hand, I let him slide slowly back out of my throat, and moved up to capture Hubert's mouth. He moaned into me, hand pawing at my breast through the thin fabric of Rhea's gown. I wondered what she would say if she saw it being utilized by us, presently. Grasping the hair at the nape of his neck, I pressed my body flush into his, and pulled him back down to the grass with me. Refusing to let go of his mouth, I used my free hand to position him just at my warm, wet entrance. Surprising me, he wasted no more time, using his body weight to lean down, and into me with his hips. I felt my cheeks grow hotter at the indulgent feeling of him filling me, widening me. My head fell back, breaking our kiss as my eyes rolled skyward. I could just barely make out the rustling willow leaves above me as I felt the hair on his navel tickle my little button. Hubert moaned my name as he withdrew slowly from my body, his arms were shuddering as he held me, and held his weight above us both. I got so lost in the decadent way his soft, swollen length slid in and out of me on beat with his hips, and I realized I was making no effort to quiet my mewlings. Hubert didn't put much stock on his end, or rather he had no control of his desperate breaths and grunting cries either. His eyes were shut tight as he grasped at my breasts again, and I started to feel that vibrating warmth emanating from his hands to stimulate me there. This, and his hips grinding me into the dirt had me reeling, building up to orgasm once more- and then I noticed something other than the willow tree, rustling somewhere away from us. I opened my eyes, trying to quiet myself as Hubert continued pushing his weight down into me indulgently. I had almost calmed myself into thinking the sound was just the wind again, when I heard a familiar voice call out, "Professor?"

My mind went blank, and for an instant, all I could see was white light and rainbow colored stars dancing in front of my eyes. Hubert withdrew from me with a speed that disturbed the shrubbery around us, and I sat up, panting. Before I could think, I answered, "Yes?"

Hubert was hunched within the bushes, trying to fix all of his clothing back together, and I looked down at the wild state of my gown. My brain finally put a face to the voice as they replied, "Professor, where are you? It's Linhardt."

I stole a glance at Hubert, who's eyes had narrowed to angry crescents once more, and I put a hand on his arm to stop him advancing toward Linhardt. I had no idea what Hubert was planning for him just then, and he probably wasn't thinking clearly.

"Let me handle this," I whispered, lowly and urgently, before clenching my hand down on his arm, and moving to stand up.

While I was still covered in shadows, I righted my gown and hair as best as I could before stepping quickly into the light. Linhardt was standing next to the bathhouse, and I could see him cataloging everything wrong with the situation as I advanced. His face went from one of confusion, to that of concern, and he called out, "Professor, what happened to you? I was headed to the library, and I heard shouting out here some time ago. Though I usually don't bother myself in the nighttime business of others, I could have sworn I heard your voice."

I came to stand in front of him, and lay my hands on each of his slim shoulders. His gaze, the color of damp, freshly cut grass, regarded me with worry. I tried to smile, but I knew it looked forced, and didn't reach my eyes. "Everything is fine, Lin. Go on to the library, now."

Linhardt surprised me then, taking my face in his hand, and brushing a thumb across the corner of my mouth. His fingers came away pink, and for a moment I thought I must be bleeding, but soon remembered what all of the makeup I had been wearing must look like, smeared across my face. "Professor, were you...?"

I slapped a hand over his mouth, careful not to apply too much force, and began pushing him back toward the dormitories with my body. "Usually you can't wait to leave my presence, Lin, why won't you just listen to me now, and go?"

He looked almost hurt for a moment, and I found myself regretting having taken such a harsh tone up against him. He was after all, only checking up on me- would have been doing me a favor, in fact, if he'd shown up a collection of minutes before he finally did. He brushed my hand away from his mouth, retorting, "It's not that I don't want to be around you professor, it's just-"

"I know, Lin. I know. You just suffer from a constitution that tires easily. That's not what this is about. Just-"

I glanced behind us, saw that Hubert was there, but still out of sight, and lowered my voice to the barest of whispers as I looked in Linhardt's dark eyes, "If I promise to explain some other time, will you please make your way right now, Lin? For me?"

I thought I saw something soften in his gaze, but his eyes fell from my mussed up face and hair, down to the mud and grass stains now littering Rhea's poor gown. He was far too intelligent not to put it all together- hell, I would be surprised if he didn't end up figuring out my partner on his own, given the time- but ever the gentleman, Lin only nodded, bowing at the waist. I could have sworn I saw him blushing in the low light, but I had more to worry about than Linhardt's feelings right then. 

Dashing back into the little garden under the willow, Hubert rose to meet me as I returned to his arms. He was staring intently at the back of Linhardt's uniform as his ponytail fluttered in the breeze. I took his face in my hand, forcing him to meet my gaze as I said, desperately, "You will not touch him, he knows nothing."

Hubert's eyes said he wanted to believe me, to be relieved, but that part of him that made him such a good spook wouldn't allow it. He tried to push past me, and I noticed he'd fully corrected all of his clothes as he said, "You do not know that for fact. I cannot trust that he won't speak of us to someone."

My pulse quickened at the sound of his voice saying, 'us,' but I quieted it with a vengeance. I couldn't believe how easily Hubert would resort to even the possibility of harming one of his classmates, his friends, and I backed up, putting myself between he and the path to Linhardt with an arm stretched out and hand splayed against his chest. I wasn't about to let one of my students come to harm as the result of my own selfish folly. I was stern, and firm in my convictions as I said, "Linhardt will do nothing unless I instruct him otherwise, he is not so insubordinate as you."

My words seemed to affect Hubert, just as I had hoped. His desire to be a good student, and a good soldier, would forever be in conflict with his desire to honor his family's legacy to the Hresvelg dynasty. As always, it was a weakness of his easily exploitable, and I took no issue doing so then. Something hardened in Hubert's gaze, and before I knew it he had taken my hand from his breast, and was moving back toward the grounds proper. I was helpless as I trailed behind him, not wanting to struggle my arm into an injury. I wondered where we were going until he said, "You are coming with us. I cannot risk-"

Finally, I made a move to pull away from him, successfully stopping us both in our tracks. I had no idea what had him so frantic as to absolve his worry that anyone else might see us. I spat back, "What, you can't risk word of us getting back to Edie?"

He turned, and advanced back toward me, quickly. I startled, trying to move away but he had me then- drew me up, off of the ground into his arms. His breath shuddered out of him in heaving words as he cried into the hair around my ear, "I cannot risk losing you both!"

I stopped my futile struggles against him, not quite relaxing into his arms, and tried to capture his gaze. He didn't seem to be actively avoiding me, but he still wouldn't- or couldn't, look me in the eyes, as he said, "If you do not come with us, _with_ _me,_ I fear I will break my promise to you, Beth. This will destroy Edelgard, and I will let her destroy..."

He trailed off, and I found my own tears rising up from the depths of my heart. I knew what he meant to say, though I couldn't begin to understand fully what that added up to- however, I could tell his soul was in crisis. I just didn't know how to help. For the briefest of moments, I imagined indulging him. I imagined a world where I did as Edie asked; accompanied them to Adrestia in Rhea's stead, and turn my back on her by performing Edelgard's ceremony to the throne. Suddenly, I thought to say the only thing that might make him understand why I could not do as he asked, despite the fact that no one had ever begged me for anything but their own life before, and it hurt to turn him away- somewhere very, very deep within me. "You ask me to turn my back on my honor, Hubert. How can you do this, when you would never give yours to me so freely?"

Tears spilled over his pale cheeks then, sprouting from the bitter pools under their heavy lids, and dark, caressing lashes. He still wouldn't look at me, and I realized we were sinking only moments before he slumped us both to the ground, in a quivering heap of limbs. He held me so tight to his chest I was almost anxious, but I calmed myself against fighting him. I knew he didn't mean to hurt me. My face was pressed firmly into his collarbone, and he whispered something into my ear that couldn't have possibly been true. I thought he'd said, "If I told you I loved you, would it change your mind," but my consciousness refused to make sense of the words.

Liquid flowed freely from my eyes, leaving pools of moisture on the shoulder, and collar of his clothing. In a time when I felt I needed her most, Sothis lay dormant, and remained silent through my current internal pleas for her guidance. I wanted her to tell me what to do, help me figure out what to say, but...not even a whisper. Clutching Hubert so tightly to me that hoped I would shatter him- shatter us both into a million pieces- at least that way we could finally be together, I murmured, "I'm sorry."


	6. The Revelation

"No," I said firmly, running a comb through my unruly, pastel waves. Glancing down, I noticed thin hairs peppering the collar of my white and gold gown sporadically, and couldn't help but wonder if I was shedding from stress. Linhardt must have seen them as well, because he started sweeping away at my shoulders with his spindly fingers in a mindless way, as he asked me the same question for the fourth time in minutes. "Tell me what happened the night of the feast."

I glared at his darker eyes in our reflections in the mirror above my desk, and continued combing, frustrated. "No."

Surprising me, he huffed, stamping his foot a little, making the old floor creak. "You told me you would explain, and it's been almost a week. We may not get another chance after the whole revelation business tonight."

I turned to face him, having to look strait up, we were so close in the small space of my closed dorm. He'd insisted upon seeing me before the ceremony at the Holy Tomb, and I'd begrudgingly let him in on the condition that he helped me into my gown. I felt comfortable around Lin, and he didn't make a big deal about seeing my undergarments. Besides, I hadn't been able to face any of the girls, lately. I knew I was being paranoid, but it was still hard not to imagine that everyone was talking about me, after Lin had heard my goings on near the fishing pond last week- though he swore he hadn't made a peep about the event. In truth, after everything that transpired, I really didn't want to be around anyone, but Lin was nothing if not persistent to get to the eye of my drama cyclone. "Why would this be your last chance to talk to me, Lin?"

He raised his forefinger and thumb to his chin, glancing to the corner of my ceiling, wistfully. His hair framed his face in a way that rendered it a bit cherubic, for such an ornery individual. "Well, can you say you know what will happen at this holy ceremony? The Goddess could strike you down on the spot, as far as anyone has said for certain."

I rolled my eyes, as I found myself often doing around Linhardt. He was charming, and brutally intelligent, but being his friend could be...as tiresome as he found everything he wasn't actuely interested in, at times. "Thanks for the support, Lin. Look, we don't have time. If I promise to try not to die tonight, will you just, wait a little longer?"

He looked at me then, and in that one glance, I came to understand that he was privy to more than he was letting on. Dreadfully clever, that one. His knowing smile faded to normalcy after the briefest or moments, and he nodded. "I suppose that sounds fair."

Linhardt escorted me to the Black Eagles classroom in the academic sector, where we had all agreed to meet up- we were planning on walking to the chapel together, as a group. Rhea and Seteth were meant to be waiting there, to escort us to the Holy Tomb, which was usually off limits to nearly everyone at the monastery. The absence of Hubert and Edelgard struck me not- I had been mentally preparing myself for it every day since Hubert warned me of their departure. The next morning I received a letter from Edie, informing me they two would be gone for the holy ceremony. Dimitri caught wind of this, and graciously offered he and Dedue's company in her stead. Rhea saw no reason not to comply, with the stark lack of a class leader to be present for such an important event.

The prince smiled at me as we approached, and it warmed my whole body. I unwound my arm from Linhardt, patting it sweetly, before moving toward where Dimitri had offered me his own. Dedue watched me carefully as my fingers made contact with the crook of Dimitri's arm when they slid through it, and I smiled at him over his shoulder. The broad giant smiled back, nodding curtly, but returned his gaze ahead as we all began walking.

Linhardt and Caspar were having an argument about their fathers, Ferdinand and Petra were discussing the pros and cons of different fish dishes in the mess hall, and Bernadetta was rounding out the back of the group as she walked beside Dorothea, keeping her lazer focus on the back of Dedue's head. I supposed she was uneasy around him, but that could be said of near everyone, when it came to that girl. She was talented, but strung tighter than the well-turned bows she employed. I realized Dimitri and myself had come to lead the bunch by some distance as we drew closer to the chapel. He seemed abuzz- almost too excited about something. Dimitri jostled me from my thoughts as he leaned down to me while we strolled, murmuring low, into my ear, "You know, Professor, I meant what I said, the night of the feast."

I smiled, remembering his heartwarming toast in my honor; also recalling the effect it had Edelgard, however unintended that result was on my part. I turned my head only slightly enough to glance back over my shoulder, saw that we were out of earshot of everyone save Dedue, and turned back toward him, replying casually, "About how I'm an inspiration?"

I saw confusion in his azure gaze and he seemed to fumble over what to say next. Our footsteps echoed crisp against the stone as he stammered, "Truly, but no. I mean about how...stunning, you look, in those lovely church dresses."

I blushed, wondering why he saw the need to keep pointing out how great I looked in these weird religious getups- maybe he picked up on how self-conscious I was about Rhea making me wear them. Thinking briefly about what happened while swaddled in the last one, I suddenly couldn't wait to get out of the thing, and away from both of them, for good. Dimitri seemed to notice my face fall slightly, because he looked like he was about to say something, right before we were interrupted by the chapel doors opening to reveal Rhea and Seteth, behind. Rhea looked ethereal, as always- from her intricate headdress atop her own, long pastel tresses- to her cloak and white gown; a more mature, reserved style than the one I wore. She was the picture of a holy mother, especially now as her arms stretched out wide, to welcome us all. Her gaze caught mine, and I held it, sliding my arm away from Dimitri slowly, and coming to clasp my hands in front of myself, formally. She smiled, wide and warm, saying, "Good Evening, children. Are you ready to see the true power of the Goddess?"

* * *

The crypt was a dark, sprawling enormity beneath the ground, and I could taste the moisture in the air as we descended the steps into the dim, spooky chamber. Rhea was speaking, to everyone as we progressed, with Seteth popping in every now and then; I half-listened, noticing I could scarcely see the ceiling, for how high it was in the dark. She lead us to a wide, stone staircase, and I found myself drawn to the moss-encrusted throne that lay carved up, and into a sprawling enclave. Rhea, turning to me with her soft, gentle eyes, seemed almost vibrating with excitement as she asked me quietly if I recognized it. I stared at the thing, and felt such a strange sense of familiarity- strange in that, it didn't feel familiar at all- more adjacent to a dream.

Still, I nodded, because I felt that was closer to the truth than anything else. The Archbishop seemed overjoyed at my answer, and urged me to sit upon it. Suddenly, I was more hesitant than I had been to do anything up to that point in my life. What if Linhardt had the right idea? The Goddess might not see me fit to receive a revelation from her at all, or it were trap set by Rhea, at worst. That brooding, incorporeal dread disappeared as soon as my legs touched the cold stone, and nothing happened. There was no epiphany; even Sothis remained dormant behind my conscious. Rhea looked up at me, expecting anything but the blank look on my face, and the emptiness of the silence that hung between us all in the air. Then I felt gooseflesh raise on my arms, like a static all around me, and my eyes cut to the corner of the room, where a purple flash of light revealed Hubert Von Vestra and Edelgard Von Hresvelg, then another one snapped brightly, and there appeared someone I didn't recognize in Imperial dress. 

Rhea was turning around as I was standing up, and I saw Dimitri's whole form somehow snap to the opposite direction with a speed that alarmed me. I walked back toward them, through them, pushing past Rhea and Dimitri with purpose. I wasn't close enough to Edelgard's group to meet their eyes yet, but they had one hell of a glare coming. I wasn't sure how I knew it, but their presence there meant bad news. When we were all close enough to each other to speak, Edelgard's voice rung out clear, and loud through the dank air, but she wouldn't look at me. "All of you will cease and desist at once. Everything within this tomb is now under possession of the Flame Emperor of Adrestia."

There was a very distinct, almost searing ring in my ears as they tried to process that claim, and I couldn't decide if it was just the utterance of her words, or the echoes of shambling feet as her soldiers surrounded us. Flame Emperor of Adrestia, she'd said. Hubert was haunting Edelgard's southeast, and with tunnel vision, I began slowly moving toward him. I saw every bit of pain in his eyes as I advanced, but they held nothing then of the pain I intended for him. It was all so much worse than I could have ever dreamed- certainly, this was a dream. Edelgard could not possibly be the Flame Emperor; she and Hubert could not possibly be... _terrorists_. They were terrorists. There was too much for me to consider just then- including the ever-looming possibility that just maybe, Edelgard had ordered Hubert to seduce me in order to distract me from her true intentions. Hubert looked panicked as my footsteps rang closer to he and Edie, but I was stopped before I reached them. 

My breath tore out of my lungs in a strangled cry as I was grabbed from behind, pulled into someone much larger and harder than me. I fought to regain the air I had lost, when I heard Dimitri's voice booming loud, vibrating through my back from behind me. Hubert looked concerned, Edelgard looked vindictive, and their third-wheel just looked confused, as Dimitri laughed, screaming, "I KNEW IT! I knew you and the professor were working together this whole time!"

Dimitri's large fingers had come to nearly encircle my neck, and his other hand held me captive around the waist as he drug me, stumbling, across the crypt to meet Edelgard. I stammered, befuddled and afraid, "Dimitri, what are you talking about?"

He had already started speaking again before I finished, and I could hear more footsteps and voices booming behind us, but all I could see was the faltering resolve of Edelgard's hard, amethyst gaze, and Hubert fighting to remain at attention behind her, as his citrine pendants stayed firmly upon Dimitri- who swung around sharply then. He released my neck to grab a dagger from his belt, and thrust it haphazardly at the selection of people that had come to my aid. "Stay back!"

His words boomed out of his chest again, stopping Dedue, Seteth, Caspar, and Ferdinand in their tracks. Rhea yelled something to him I couldn't understand- I was too busy noticing Edie's troops flanking the lot of us closer. Dimitri spun on his heel, and once more I found myself staring holes into Edie's porcelain visage. His grasp was starting to hurt, but he was far too strong for me, and with a weapon out, I would be taking a hefty chance by trying to resist him, or throw his weight. I had never seen Dimitri in such a state, and had no idea how to handle this psychotic fracture. What was even more ironic was that both he and Edie were convinced the other had radicalized me to their side, when I was just trying to keep aloft of all the sub-motivations at play myself. Dedue had been calling to Dimitri for some time as well, but I couldn't hear him either through the blood pumping in my ears. Desperate, I whispered Dimitri's name, a final plea to come to his senses, but he pressed his dagger into the flesh of my throat and said, "Silence."

Bernadetta's voice was loud and shrill as it chirped, worried for my safety, but there was nothing I could do to calm her fears, in my present state. Then Edie smiled, and it stretched thin from one ear to the other. She glanced back over her shoulder at Hubert- who had taken to staring strait ahead of himself; he swallowed visibly before nodding only slightly- and she turned back to me. Her voice was coy, filled with charming overtones as she mused, "Well, my teacher, is it as Dimitri says,? Are you with us?"

The implication hanging in her statement was pregnant, and daunting, but I steeled myself into my gaze, and the cold sting of Dimitri's blade at my throat, as my eyes narrowed at her- I refused to look at Hubert- and said, "No."

Edelgard's intimidating posture never faltered, but her eyes narrowed at me. I felt Dimitri freeze, and it seemed he no longer knew exactly what to do with his hands. The one holding a knife to my pulse fell gently, and just as his grasp around my waist loosened, one of Edelgard's soldiers made a dash for him. The decision cost him his life- as Dimitri threw me away from him, he spun with paranormal speed and thrust his dagger deep into his attacker's neck- blood spewed out of the hole it left as he chortled, falling to the ground with a sickening slap of meat. I heard screaming at the same time I realized it wasn't coming from me, but no one dared advance on the scene as it played out. Dimitri's pale cheeks housed spatters of gore as he pointed the red dagger back toward Edie, eyes wild; and even she seemed taken aback by his stark outburst of violence. "Dedue saw you, sneaking away from her room in the wee hours, I know it to be so!"

Edelgard looked truly confused by this, and for the first time, appeared as if she were about to speak to him. I hazarded a glance for Hubert's eyes- they were forlorn, filled with panic, and he was employing them to me so intently it seemed as though he were trying to make me hear his thoughts, but I could scarcely read more into either, at present. Suddenly, I heard footsteps approaching us from behind, and I turned to see Linhardt stop quite a way from the fray, but close enough to call out, "Dimitri, you must stop this senselessness at one. You know not of what you speak!"

I watched both Edie and Hubert's eyes cut to Lin, the latter searing with an acidic fury so hot, I thought it might burn through him, if it were tangible. Linhardt met his stripping gaze with resolve, and my heart swelled that he would rise so close to danger to try and protect me in a situation not even he was sure about. Before I could worry too hard, Dedue had advanced behind him, coming to stand between the rest of that group, and Dimitri. "Your highness, we do not know this to be so. I never collected solid evidence-"

Dimitri didn't turn, but kept his blade steady, ahead of him. None of Edelgard's men hazarded a step forward after what they had just seen the prince do to their comrade. Some looked to her as she stood silent- antsy for leadership, orders, anything- others watched the conflict play out in Dimitri's crazed eyes as he put everything together. "If Professor Byleth isn't the Flame Emperor, then..." 

I said a silent prayer to the Goddess, or Sothis, or whomever was listening, that Lin and Dedue's words seemed to have gotten through to the broken prince. I thought that, until manic burbles of laughter began spurting from Dimitri's chest in inconsistent waves. I finally turned away from Hubert to look up at him; I still hadn't risen from where he'd flung me, and everyone was quiet enough to hear me whisper, "Dimitri," again, just before his feet started to move.

The laughter never ceased, and I watched him lunge toward Edelgard; she stood as an animal caught off guard- so arrogant in her ignorance of imminent danger- just as she had in the face of the bandit I saved her from the day I met her. A bandit, I now realized, she had hired to murder her classmates. The fury within me for Edelgard was bubbling upward, from the depths of my sorrow, where it stemmed- and into my throat, but I still knew what had to be done. Hubert had been looking elsewhere until it was too late, even though he started moving immediately, he would never be able to stop Dimitri's brute force when he was coming at Edelgard with a knife, if Hubert was behind her. 

Some of the rage within me began to trickle out, and I found it was aimed at myself too then, as I began drawing my limbs up and off of the floor. Hubert looked at me frantically, pleading- he knew Edelgard would surely die, but he soon began to panic for another reason. He surprised me when his course changed to move toward me as soon as he saw what I meant to do, but Dimitri was too fast, and Hubert would again be too late. I took my chance, bounding off of one heel, and threw my body between Edelgard and Dimitri- just before I felt a sharp, thick weight sink into my right shoulder. A cry escaped me, deep as the dagger pierced my body, and for a moment everything seemed to slow down, and become way too warm for my liking, as I listened the sound reverberate around us all.

Hubert stopped in his tracks, just behind Edelgard, dropping to his knees on the cold concrete, as if he'd stumbled- but I knew different- he was scared. Edelgard was regarding me much as she did the first time I saved her pitiful life, before those violet pools fell to the blood stains blooming upon my arm and once unsullied, lily-white gown. I fell to my own knees and heard screaming again- thinking it was Dimitri this time, but there were too many other voices to be sure. I tried to reach up to my wound, but my arms fell, lifeless into my lap, as blood continued pooling under my body. I blinked sweat away from stinging my eyes as it streamed down my forehead, and when I opened them again, Edelgard was gone from my view.

There began a kerfuffle behind me, rushing footsteps and grunting, as if they were struggling to gain control of Dimitri. Now eye level with Hubert, I found that when I met his gaze, tears began spilling down my hot, swollen cheeks. I didn't know if the event was spurred of shock or heartbreak, but it scantly mattered. He was panting as he regarded me, seeming to care not that Edelgard had vanished, leaving him to clean up her mess, like a coward. Even their Imperial General was gone. I felt that my sight was dimming, like I didn't have much more conscious time there, but I still needed to tell Hubert, "You lied to me."

Hubert knelt up, but seemed afraid to come closer- smart of him, right then. His voice came out in a haggard gasp as he reached out to me, "Beth, please understand-"

I drew in a painful, shuddering breath that caused fresh tears to spill down down my chin, and let it out, screaming at the man in front of me, "I understand nothing!"

Suddenly, I felt someone sink to the ground behind me, drawing me up slightly, and into their arms. Air rattled out of me as I held Hubert's bitter gaze, and I tuned out the voice of whomever had grabbed me, deliriously continuing, "You have both betrayed me."

The look on Hubert's face would surely haunt me-his skin stretched gaunt and pale across his bones, hair framing it all in a dreary halo of midnight waves. I would say I had never seen a man so totally broken, so visually unhinged- if I hadn't just been stabbed by one of his peers, moments ago. I felt the wound stinging slightly, before a searing pain took over my entire back. I gritted my teeth and noticed Hubert was now staring over my shoulder, at Linhardt, who said, "I think you should follow your master Hubert, before Dimitri has your head on a pike."

I tried revelling in Lin's casual savagery to distract myself from the pain of him binding my flesh back together with his magic, but it didn't work, and I screamed. Hubert startled at the sound, and I thought he would have made a move toward us, but seemed to think better of it, yet again. Blinking the tears of pain and remorse from my aquamarine eyes, I glared at Hubert Von Vestra- the hurt swirling within me was blinding, and it fueled my resolve as I whispered, "The next time her life is in my hands Hubert, I will take it."

What little color there was leaked down, out of Hubert's cheeks, finally being swallowed by the black and red velvet of his mage's robes. I had only just noticed how fitting they looked against his broad, lithe form. He looked spooky, even- but he wasn't my spook anymore. I cried out again as Lin continued to work on my wound, and when I closed my eyes to push through it, they refused to reopen. For an instant before succumbing, I felt a distinct lack of Hubert's presence in the room, and it struck me as morosely significant.


	7. Lone Moon

I sat upon a stone bench in the fishing pond courtyard, watching the sunset change the color of the sky and water, still peering over the tall stone walls of Garreg Mach Monastery. The serenity of this scene was juxtaposed by the stress with which every resident of the monastery had been fretting around, for many days. They had been ordered by the church to evacuate immediately, with barely a fortnight to arrange safe passage and a place to stay. Some were lucky enough to have friends or family in villages nearby, and could leave with haste. Others weren't so fortunate, and were left worried about where they would be able to find shelter in the imminence of Edelgard's invasion of their home at all. Of course, many of the students were staying to fight, but I couldn't help but ponder how ready many of them were for this. I thought about some, like Caspar, Bernadetta and Ashe, more than others. 

For the first time after scraping myself back together mentally, in the wake of Jeralt's death, I became possessed by a familiar lonlilessness, and an accompanying hopelessness that held its hand tightly. My resolve hadn't faltered- I intended to meet Edelgard in battle with a fury I hoped she was unprepared for- but beyond my tunnel vision for that day, and how wholly lost I was, I had started to notice this strange inability to feel any certain way about anything, and it was keeping me from sleep at night- along with my greater worries for the continued safety of everyone I harbored responsibility for. 

No matter how deeply I dug within myself as I lay fitfully twisting my sheets, night after night- no matter how hard I tried to hold onto any strong emotion not related to my vendetta for Edie, my fingers came back holding nothing more than an emptiness that seemed almost sentient- even when I tried to feel something about Hubert. _Especially_ when I tried to apply my mental forces to processing and healing those wounds, they had refused even be tended to, let alone come to mend at my insistence. Every night I had tried to be despondent, to cry; and sometimes it felt like I had been crying, in that my face stayed a puffy, swollen mess- but the tears refused come when called as if actively hiding themselves from my use.

The sunset flared over the monastery walls and into my eyes, distracting me from my thoughts- trying to force myself to feel things probably wasn't the most healthy hobby to take up right then anyways- and I blinked hard several times before raising a hand to shade my face. Through the space between my fingers, I caught a young boy stumble slightly behind his mother, who was pulling him urgently toward the market gate by the arm. He didn't seem to understand why there was such cause for alarm, and the sight made me a little melancholy, as I wondered if they two had anywhere safe to go. 

Things in the courtyard quieted once the sun fully descended, and though it was still a little chilly, there hung a dampness in the air that was making me feel oddly claustrophobic, and warm. It made me wonder if we would have to worry about visibility in any upcoming storms. Standing up, I began wandering around the monastery grounds, hoping I wouldn't run into anyone. I had been essentially by myself, with my thoughts, all day- but I knew sleep wouldn't come to my restless mind with ease, either. After what happened at the Holy Tomb, most students were quick to leave me be, and I was glad for it. They were all worried about the affairs of their own loved ones, besides, which probably made it all the easier to give me some time to process- not that this was taking place. Even Linhardt backed off, though he was one of the only people I had voluntarily spoken to since the occurrence- to thank him, of course, for saving my life. I couldn't believe how brave he had been, and truly thought words could not express my gratitude. I was going to have to come up with some kind of comparable gift to return to him- hoping, of course, that event would not come down him being in fatal danger, as I had been. 

I found myself drawn across the bridge- cross breeze tumbling my hair, and coat sleeves in every direction- toward the looming doors of the chapel; left open and guarded even through states of emergency. During times of war, faith was of the utmost importance to those who committed their lives to it. I had been in the world too long not to have heard of the Goddess, and her Saints before I came to Garreg Mach- though not for lack of trying on my father's part- but to me, the idea of needing an all powerful being to save you from the forces of evil was a much more terrifying prospect than just figuring out how to win by yourself. As a result, I had never been very drawn toward Seiros or her church, because I found I didn't need belief in a greater anything to find the courage and resolve to push through life's difficulties. I merely considered the structure to be a nice place to meditate, and often wandered there when I needed to declutter my headspace and unwind. The air always smelled the same; stale, yet somehow still fresh, and fragrant, as it hung around the vaulted ceilings and their looming stone columns. I also found relaxing the sometimes sometimes spooky, sporadic rainbows cast by fading light through the artisan stained glass windows, and the way they haunted the rows of pews with their dancing.

As I made my way past the large columns toward the main altar, I was reminded of what Rhea had told me, immediately following the events at the tomb. She employed her usual vagueness for my behalf, peppered with many cryptic religious phrases that I had never heard before, leaving me scarcely less in the dark. It made me a little angry with my father, for the first time in a long time, that I realized just how much of my genesis he seemed to have withheld from me. Forget about my merging with Sothis making me feel like I didn't know who I was anymore- this new revelation staggered me to the point that I felt I had _never_ truly known who I was. I wasn't even sure I was a person, anymore, for whatever that was worth. The thought seemed dramatic, but it rang true. I suspected what Rhea had done that motivated my father to leave the monastery with me 20 years ago, but I was still certain of nothing- except that I knew I wanted to unearth every single detail- and I would make it my primary focus, after Edie was dealt with. When I first came to Garreg Mach, I had been overwhelmed by the prospect of a new life, populated by different kinds of people- not just normal villagers and mercenaries, but interesting, adventurous people I could form bonds with. I'd never been able to have real friends, or any other long-term relationship than the one I shared with Jeralt.

His untimely passing may not have motivated me to unearth the truth behind our lives as much as it should have, but everything that had happened since then only emboldened me further to get to the bottom of things, _of me._ What was I to do, if I didn't even know whom I was supposed to be in the first place? After cryptically telling me that she believed I was virtually a god, Rhea clammed up- for fear any further delving into my past would only distract me from the present danger that was Edelgard and her troops- and of course Seteth would never dare divulge anything without her consent. Though I could tell in his eyes that he was worried about her motivations then, too; especially as she told us not only would Rhea and I be be switching our roles during the invasion; I was to be in charge of her title should she fall. I couldn't believe my own ears when she told me I wouldn't be commanding my students, but overseeing the entire battle so that she may be ready to intervene. I didn't know how exactly she planned to do that- in the likely event that we would be overrun- but she was insistent as ever that I remain posted on the 3rd floor during the event belying orders. I firmly her I would only promise her the time it took for Edie to present herself in battle, but reluctantly accepted the responsibility of being her understudy temporarily. 

I wasn't the only one who was furious about the choice- though Seteth looked nearly calm when I walked out of Rhea's chambers, I heard his voice through the crack of the doors before they closed, melodic and urgent. Catherine and Cyril had given me dirty looks that day too, but my imagination had them mostly jealous of Rhea's attention for me. If it were up to me, they could both carry it off into the sky together, for all I cared. I fancied my condition were contagious, that I may shirk it upon someone better suited for the role, like Catherine herself; maybe then she would actually take a liking to me. 

Winding around the final corner that would bring me to the room of the chapel that housed the altars of the saints, I stopped in my tracks, hearing the end of my footsteps echoing in my ears along with something else- it almost sounded like someone was laughing. Moving quietly into the room proper, I realized I had been wrong, no one was laughing; Dimitri Blaiddyd knelt there in the candlelight, at the foot of the statue of Saint Cetheleann, shoulders heaving, as he sobbed quietly. One hand held his weight, and the other covered his eyes. Normally, I would have been touched by this- not in spite of, but due to the fact that we were all now aware of just how unstable his highess had been, for who knows how long. However, all I felt was that weighted, sentient apathy- that seemed benevolent in nature, just then, at least. Still, I didn't know how to act in this situation, or if I even should, as I realized he was muttering things to himself as well. I watched him wipe his brow and heard him whisper, "Please, guide me. I can hear all of these voices, but none of them have lead me to the right conclusions..."

He trailed off and silence refilled the room, but I heard Sothis peeping in my mind's ear. Then I felt a pang of...something. I couldn't place the sensation, but I found myself compelled by her to clear my throat, and declare, "Your Highness," to Dimitri's back.

He didn't quite startle- sorrow had him too sluggish for that- but I watched all of the color flash-drain from his face as he turned to see who was there. His eyes looked paler than ever against his sunken cheeks, in the dim light- hair hanging limp and unmanaged around them. I felt another pang from Sothis, and got the idea that maybe it was a little sadness, she was trying to make me feel for him, but it wasn't quite working. I still felt empty. Dimitri swallowed visibly, throat bobbing into his collar, damp and soaked through with tears. His eyes cut to the stone floor, but his voice was quite even as he said quietly, "Please leave me. I cannot bare to look at you, right now. I don't know if I'll ever be able to look at you again, after the trespasses I have committed against you."

I did feel something then, but I still didn't know what. I could see Dimitri was in a state over what had happened, but I also knew that scarcely changed or mended anything. He hadn't meant to hurt me- but he certainly did- not to mention what he'd meant to do to Edelgard, and how he had swiftly murdered one of her men in front of many witnesses. I was cynical enough to understand that was the reality of war, but the rate at which he'd been able to make that switch was alarming, to say the least. I decided to say the only thing that I felt sure of, and that was, "Your Highness, I haven't quite absorbed all that I witnessed at the Holy Tomb, but I understood what I was doing when I stepped in front of your blade."

Dimitri still wouldn't look at me, but he seemed to be listening, so I tried to help him understand, continuing, "Despite the fact that my actions left Lady Edelgard alive to declare war on the church, endangering the lives of many- I couldn't let your intent on her life stand."

He looked at me then, visage still ashen, but eyes shining with wild determination as he said, louder then, "You should have let me kill her. My intent for her life is damnation enough, I deserve to have to deal with those consequences."

I sighed then, a little lost for how to get through to him. "Forgiving my frankness, Dimitri, but those consequences would have extended far past your feelings about the matter, had I not intervened."

He blinked then, light brows creasing together in concern; as if it were truly the first time he had considered what Edelgard's death might mean to anyone else but himself. Strange of him, to have such a blind spot regarding the Adrestian princess turned Emperor- though he would hardly be alone in boasting such. I knew they were childhood mates, because he'd told me as much, once, but I also knew I wasn't alone in my suspicion that he harbored some other type of deep, unresolved emotions for her- whether net positive or negative was actively obscure to me, though. I had been able to get past him being suspect of she and I, given the circumstances and clues left by my sneaking around with her right-hand, and hardly blamed him for coming to that conclusion. How violently he'd reacted to Edelgard's own revelation was still concerning, however. Especially given the fact that had he succeeded in his manic compulsion, he would have almost certainly been executed immediately- if not by Hubert in a rage sure to be blinder than Dimitri's had been- then it would have been at the hands of her countless soldiers, or maybe even one his classmates. A look flashed in his eyes then, and he started to slowly rise. I held my ground, not presently afraid of any action he might take, but he still wouldn't meet my eyes as he treaded heavily toward me, until he sank to his knees at my feet- staring up at me as if I were an altar he could pray to. He stammered, "I find myself in great agony over the desire for your forgiveness, Professor...but how can I possibly ask this of you when I've been so blind- so utterly ignorant?"

Something else snuck into those washed out sapphire blues, and I found it unnaturally difficult to sustain eye contact. It was as if there were energy emmenating from them, trying to get into me, somehow, and it was a little frightening. I wanted to calm him in some way, so I said what I thought might ease his worries, timidly holding his gaze as I said, "Dimitri, you need not ask for my forgiveness, I would not be so well met if you did not already possess it."

He looked crestfallen, and I wondered what about that could have possibly upset him, but he frightened me again when he slammed his heavy hands to the ground in front of my boots, bowing his head down nearly to meet them. "I am truly a fool. It is as Rhea says, then. At first I could not believe it, but...you truly are of the Goddess."

I felt the need to interject, before this thread of his got out of control. I stated, trying not to sound as panicked as I felt, "Dimitri, I'm not," intending to tell him this wasn't the case, even though I myself was not at all sure, but he interrupted me. Head snapping back upward, he raised his voice whether intentionally or not, asserting, "You are! You must be! How else could you perform all of your miracles?"

Surprising me, he came to stand, grasping my shoulders a little too firmly. I was beginning to feel unsafe, but didn't know how to exit the situation as he continued, blathering, "How else could you be so gifted as to wield the Sword of the Creator?"

I could hear the edge of tears encroaching into his voice, so I tried to calm him again, pleading him with my eyes as I gently said, "Dimitri, you need to get some sleep."

His hands clenched down on the meat of my arms, and I almost cried out. Hubert's own similar actions the night of my feast sprang to mind, and it pulled at things low, deep within me- things I really didn't want to feel right now. "Why does everyone insist upon telling me to sleep?"

My empathy for him was fading fast, and my voice sounded devoid even to me as I hissed through gritted teeth, "Dimitri, let go. You're hurting me."

He looked wilder then, eyes ablaze and full of color for the first time that night, as he began to shake me, crying, "Don't any of you understand how hard it is for me to face them, in my dreams?"

I had no idea what he was screaming about, who 'they' were, or otherwise, all I knew was I needed to escape him with swiftness, before he lashed out with his brooding strength again. Then suddenly, a deep voice exclaimed, "Your Highness, what do you think you're doing?"

Both of us turned frantically to meet the sound that echoed from behind us. Linhardt and Dedue were there, in the threshold of that sacred space, as Dimitri held me. I had never seen the giant move with such speed as he did to remove me from Dimitri's grasp, and he came to push him away from me, holding the prince similarly suspended- Linhardt came to my aid, and I assured him I was unharmed. Frowning, he palmed the shoulder I had been stabbed in, and I winced slightly, causing him to look truly angry, then. He held a hand out toward Dimitri and Dedue, causing the former to stumble through the air and to the feet of the saints behind him, with a force I didn't know Lin possessed. "Can't you see you've injured her again? What are you even doing out of your dorm past Seteth's curfew?"

Suddenly, it struck me that this was true- Dimitri's free time on Monastery grounds had been severely limited, and strictly supervised by order of Seteth since the Holy Tomb- for good reason. Dimitri coughed into his hands, still not having risen, and I thought I heard something rattle in his chest; a sickness, perhaps, when Dedue began taking large strides toward Linhardt. "How dare you assault his highness, I-"

I moved to intercept Dedue as Lin began yelling, "I did you both a favor by telling you he's been here for hours, crying to himself over what he's done, instead of reporting to Rhea or Seteth. You should hardly be angry with me, he was assaulting the professor again!"

Dedue's gaze hardened, but he stopped moving before I had the chance to get in the middle of another out of control situation, which I was grateful for. I cried, "Everyone please stop, before someone raises an alarm over all of this!"

Linhardt looked to me, and I could tell he was still wildly irritated, but he said nothing further, crossing his arms over his chest. "I would prefer if no one knew about this, Lin, and Dedue," I trailed off, turning to capture Dedue's gaze with mine, and continued, "Please just, get Dimitri to his room, and see that he gets some sleep. I don't care if you have to put him in a head-lock."

I always found Dedue's blank gaze harder to read than most, and that moment was no exception. He briefly turned to face Dimitri, who had curled into a ball on the floor, head in his hands, before looking me up and down, once. "I will do this. And I am sorry, for losing my temper," he said, nodding at Linhardt, who only grimaced in reply. He glanced to me again and said, "Know this, Professor Byleth, if you would allow me to address you as such."

I felt compelled to nod slightly, and when I did so, he continued in earnest, "No language possesses the capacity to express my gratitude for what you did for His Highness at the Holy Tomb."

My breath caught in my throat. It struck me then that a large reason for Dedue's coddling of Dimitri must have been due to the fact that Dedue saw through, to the depth of his insanity- maybe even understood it, a little. Then I found something in those steely eyes I could read- a story about a prince who had killed the princess- and it didn't end well, not for anyone. Dedue seemed so painfully intuitive to me in that moment, that all I could do was swallow, and nod again. He did so back, before his gaze fell empty once more. Then he turned, moving to begin collecting Dimitri off of the floor. Lin and I watched the prince fight him, but he was too broken, too exhausted, to make the effort stick. Dedue picked him up from underneath his arms, and began supporting his walk to the exit. Dimitri asked him something quietly as they moved out of eyesight, but if he made any reply, I didn't hear it. 

I thanked Linhardt for arriving with Dedue looking for Dimitri, and thought he seemed to have a preternatural sense for when I was in danger, with his record. It had been oblivious of me to forget that Dimitri wasn't allowed out at night, any more, and shouldn't have been there in the first place. Lin removed the cowl off of his uniform, draping it over my shoulders as we crossed the breezy bridge back to the main grounds, which I didn't mind. Despite having my own coat, gooseflesh had still sprung on my forearms, and the back of my neck, which he seemed to notice. I found it strange, due to Lin's usual accidental narcissism preventing him from understanding the discomfort of others. Maybe his days at the academy were doing him some good. "It was truly nothing. I have to admit it was even a little self serving. I was in the library with Hanneman, discussing what this war on the church might mean for crests. When the topic fell to yours, my curiosity piqued again over the night of the feast, and I ran into Dedue while I was trying to discern your whereabouts."

I couldn't believe I had let myself be relieved earlier that Linhardt's persistence after me had seemingly faded- it was merely calm before a storm. Oddly enough though, that new, sprawling emptiness within me seemed to make it easier to consider the prospect of finally explaining what happened to Lin. I stopped midway to the end of the bridge, and stared into the gaping crevasse below, with its shimmering grey blankets of fog tucking it all together. I decided to capitalize on this seeming ability to think about what happened without really having to feel anything, and called out to the nothingness in front of me, "Hubert and I were sleeping together- up until that night, actually. I believe this is what lead to Dimitri's suspicions of myself and Edelgard."

I could hear nighttime insects chittering away all around us, his silence stretching long, but not thin. Lin and I were often silent, when together- it's a part of why he tolerated my company, at all. I didn't bother trying to distract him out of his own reality any more, and as a result, he had come to trust me- and I him. He was a good student, merely in ways that were both unbridled and inobvious, even to himself. Finally, his melodic voice touched my ear as he quipped, "Yes, I theorized as much. It was the tidiest of narratives I was able come up with, after all. However, If I seem to recall, 'up until that night,' isn't entirely the right way to phrase that, hm?"

I turned, only my head, glaring at the little navy pools resting atop Lin's full, child like cheeks, hoping that was enough to keep him from poking at my wounds further, then turned back to the landscape ahead of me, finding the air flowed through my words more readily, that way. "I made a mistake. I let my feelings cloud my judgement, and it nearly cost me my life- maybe even the lives of others."

"A mistake like Jeritza," Lin asked to the empty air, and I turned to him again, eyes narrowing. 

"How do you know about Jeritza?"

Linhardt looked surprised, shrugging as he said bluntly, "I thought everyone knew about you and Professor Hrym. He spent more time around you than any other human he wasn't actively training to fight- and he couldn't stand small-talk.There was really only one conclusion to draw from this."

Turning away from him once more, I sighed, thinking about every villain I had come to trust personally in the past year, and how many people I had given the chance to take notice, muttering, "You're right. I didn't see through him, I didn't see through Hubert and Edie, and I certainly didn't see through Dimitri. I might as well be functionally blind...this is unnaceptable. I can't help but feel like I'm partially responsible for all of this..."

I trailed off as I realized the last part of my statement hadn't been something I was sure of before, but I became moreso the more I thought about everything that happened in the past many moons. How _had_ I been so blind to Edie's malfeasance; better question, how had I let Hubert's brooding employment of his own help to seduce me? How had I missed Dimitri's red-flags of sudden interest in me, on top of that? Still riding the high of my lack of depth of feeling, I asserted, "I should have let her die that day, outside of Remire, before Dimitri even got the chance grow unhinged enough to attack her."

I heard Lin closing the space between us, very gently laying a hand on my shoulder. I turned fully to look at him, and was surprised that he seemed quite adamant about something. "Surely, you do not believe this to be true, Professor."

I regarded him, confused as to what he could be getting at, and he continued, "What you did in Remire was admirable. You saved the life of a princess, and it landed you a teaching job at the most prestigious academy in the country. Seeing as you cannot go back in time and know of her true identity and intent before doing so, there is nothing to be done."

I knew his words to be true- even my gift of the divine pulse had limits restricting me from such, but still there was the issue of the events at the mausoleum. "I knew who she was when Dimitri thrust himself at her."

His hand came to grasp my other shoulder as he stated insistently, "And you still made the decision I would have made in your shoes."

He seemed to think a moment, an it made me wonder why he was trying so hard to console me. Lin was always earnest- it was one of the most endearing things about him- but he rarely put this much effort forth for anyone but himself or his personal studies. He went on, "Perhaps I wouldn't have put myself in the way of his blade, but you get my meaning. My mother always said it is not our place to decide that someone else should die, and if we have the ability to prevent this, we should take measures to do so. Dimitri may not understand what would have happened to him if he were allowed to go through with his actions, but we do- to lead the list, it would have been an act of war in itself. It's only a shame Edelgard has declared one, anyways, but I hardly think that's directly your fault."

It was moments like these that made me irritated with Linhardt for being so damned smart, but it was again, something that endeared me to him in a way that made such a common frustration. My memory took me to that moment in the tomb- when my anger for Edie flared simultaneously with my actions in her favor- and I realized something that broke through the apathetic shroud I had been blanketed in, for days. Again, my words seemed to escape me as thoughts not quite yet resolve by even me, and I whispered, "I don't think I really did it for Dimitri, or Edelgard."

The newly felt emotions kept spewing forth from me in an uncontrollable flow, and I found myself coming to grasp Linhardt's slender arms- my legs were starting to feel weak. I looked up at him, pitifully in the moonlight and continued, "I think I did it for Hubert."

I though Linhardt looked sad then, as if he was coming to understand what those words meant. For an instant, I wondered if his independent studies had ever driven him to poring over human relationships- that is, I questioned if he had ever bothered to feel love for anything other than those studies, believing they might be the only thing that could motivate him to pursue such things. Then, my own mental processes gave me pause, and I read back over the last few of them, stopping on the word, _love._ My subconscious replayed the words Hubert had said to me the last night we were together- I hadn't wanted to hear it then, but it was time to face them. Hubert had told me he loved me, and all I had said was I was sorry; because it was true, and also, because I wasn't sure I knew what love was, even presently. Especially presently. What did love even mean to me of I weren't human? Before, I knew love for my father, and love for my friends, but romantic love was something I found myself wholly unfamiliar with. I said as much to Linhardt, and his face contorted in thought; the students were learning about my new identity at the same place as I was, so that was hardly surprising to me. What did surprise me, was Lin ignoring those parts of my statement, and drawing me into the most fragile of embraces, as he whispered, "I think you did say that you loved him, whether you meant to or not."

I leaned into him gently, letting the warmth of his chest soothe my cheek. Though I was undeniably feeling _something_ , that unexplained shroud of detachment still loomed at the fringes of my consciousness, and I was struggling to understand what it was. Hoping the man in front of me could enlighten me, I whispered into his shoulder, "What do you mean?"

My voice sounded a little desperate, even to me. Linhardt rubbed my arm before pulling away from me completely, as if we had reached his threshold for physical interaction, before speaking, "You saved the life of the woman he loves, despite the fact that they both fundamentally betrayed your trust. You gave her a chance you feel she did not deserve, when it mattered most. I can think of no action more derived of love than this."

Lin still looked a bit sad as the last sounds of his statement faded from between us, as if he were mourning for me, somehow. I thought about what he had said- wondered if it was true. Would Hubert consider what I had done an act of love? I had no way to be sure, as we were now currently at war with one another, despite his efforts to sway me to their cause. Sighing, I smiled weakly at Linhardt, and asked if he would walk me back to my room, for the night. We proceeded in silence, but my thoughts were a frenzy as a new, balmier wind began to frazzle my tresses from the west. 

After I settled myself into more comfortable clothes, there was an urgent knocking at my door. Startling, I made my way across the room, wondering who it could be. When I had unlatched the thing and swung it open, I found Ingrid standing there, waiting for me. She looked as tired as I felt, and for once her loose braid was undone- instead her blonde tresses fell in angelic waves upon the stark blackness of her uniform. I almost wondered why any of the students bothered wearing theirs anymore, but supposed it was a combination of habit and lack of other options. I smiled at her in the dark as she chirped, "Hello, Professor. I hope it's not too late to call on you."

Opening the door a smidge wider, I welcomed her in from the balmy night. "Of course not, Ingrid. Sleep doesn't come easily to me these days. Please, come in."

She looked surprised, but her eyes softened as she moved past me saying, "That is a sentiment I think many of us share lately, myself included."

The space didn't leave much room for entertaining, but I had stuffed more people into it before, including herself. Motioning for Ingrid to take a seat at my desk, I moved to my bed, folding my legs under myself upon the still-made sheets. "Thank you, for being so generous at this hour, Professor," she said, wringing her hands a little awkwardly in her lap. 

I gave her silence to continue, and she did, stating, "I came here tonight to apologize for prince Dimitri's actions at the Holy Tomb, and actually, make a request of you."

My eyebrows quirked upward- I couldn't think of any reason she would have to formally apologize, considering her social standing- but I knew she and Dimitri shared a personal relationship, at the least. A sizeable lock of her golden hair had come to fall over the side of her shoulder, and she brushed it back with seeming aggravation, murmuring, "Haven't been able to find a hair tie all day in this chaos."

Leaning over to reach around under my pillow, I withdrew a hair band and held it out to her- sometimes I bound my hair at night, and would often wake with no hair tie to speak of, so I imagined a few would be dormant somewhere, among my covers. She smiled, seeming surprised, but took the little thing and wound it around her fingers, binding her hair behind her neck adeptly. Once she was through, her hands settled back into her lap, demurely; which I thought odd for her character. Ingrid put up a front of stone, but it seemed to me she was just as fragile as anyone else, the more I got to know her. She spoke again, a little lowly, "I saw Dedue carrying Dimitri across the grounds tonight. He looked to be in a state again, and it just had me worried."

I mulled over what to say- I wanted as few people as possible to know that the prince had violated his parole and put hands on me again- and I wondered why she had come to me, instead of asking Dedue directly, since they were in the same class. When I asked as much, something dark bloomed in her verdant gaze, and for a moment I thought I had upset her somehow. Fidgeting a stray hair behind her ear, she said, "It brings me no joy to admit this, but I find I harbor a deep mistrust for any descendent of Duscur. As a result, Dedue and I do not share a very friendly relationship."

She truly did look embarrassed, and I was taken aback by her self awareness concerning her feelings about Dedue and his people. I had gotten Felix to talking every once in a while, when we were training or sparring; any time the young swordsman spoke, it was impossible not to ascertain his hatred for Dimitri and Dedue. When I brought it up casually to Annette and Mercedes in the mess hall over dessert one evening, I was able to figure out that he and were Ingrid both struck deeply by the death of Dimitri's family- and his subsequent personality shift. I didn't know any of them well enough to fret about it, but it seemed to me that passing judgement on an entire race over the alleged actions of a splinter group seemed a little blind. Deciding to tread carefully, I only murmered, "I understand how you feel, Ingrid, and I accept your apology, though I can't help but feel like your accepting too much responsibility for asking it of me."

Nodding, she seemed to understand what I meant, and thanked me. She was silent for a moment, so I took the opportunity to change the subject, "What favor did you hope to ask of me, Ingrid?"

She still seemed anxious, but at least held my gaze as she said, "I came here to personally request that you watch over his highness. I know Dimitri can be a handful, but...he needs someone to guide him that isn't Dedue and his blind servitude."

I heard Sothis peep up at her last statement, and thought about it, hard. Dimitri's mentality hardly seemed a task I found myself ready to look after presently, but her words struck both I and Sothis as undeniably true; almost so undeniable that I should have known it already, and I wondered if that had been what Sothis was trying to say. Ingrid rose from her perch on my chair, smoothing out the front of her uniform, saying, "I know this conversation may be for naught, with an invasion looming, but...Dimitri is a good man, despite his recent behavior suggesting otherwise, and I care about him very deeply. I just hope now, with Edelgard as our enemy, that you'll keep my words in mind."

Ingrid had a point- there may be no Dimitri Blaiddyd to give guidance to if neither of us survived Edie's attack, so I said, "I will do whatever I can for him, Ingrid. You have my word."

Smiling, she did a little half-bow, and said, "Truly, Professor, thank you," before showing herself quietly out of my dormitory. However vague, I still hoped I wouldn't come to regret my promise to her.


	8. Guernica

A few more days passed, and the monastery was emptied of life just a little more completely with each one- the only residents remaining were church officers, knights, and what few students that were either ready and willing to face Edie's assault, or had nowhere else to go. Most of the Golden Deer house went back to the Leicester Alliance, with the exception of Lorenz, whom felt it was his duty to finally prove his self-propagated superiority to Claude. Ignatz and Marianne still hadn't heard back from their parents. Due to the fact that Dimitri and Dedue were insistent upon standing to face Edelgard head-on, the Blue Lion house stayed to defer to his, and my command. I had taken Ingrid's words to heart, and had a conversation with Dimitri- to try and quell his worried mind, and to warn him from acting out during the battle. I had my doubts he wouldn't, given the chance and stimuli, but I still felt it need to be said. Since I wouldn't be close to watch over him, I made Dimitri promise to make keeping everyone in his house safe and sound his top priority. Annette had Gilbert to help watch over her, and Ingrid had Felix at her back always, but Mercy and Ashe only had each other, and I didn't trust Dedue to protect anyone other than Dimitri. Their lives would come down to his leadership, and I made sure he knew it. He had reacted positively to my guidance, and I could only pray he used it as I told him to, and didn't do anything insane. 

That apathetic shroud seemed to lift the more time I spent around others, so I was doing so as often as possible; and though it still haunted my psyche, I found my heart breaking in a hollow, empathetic way for students like Ferdinand, Ashe, and Petra, who were being thrust into this without much choice of running away, even if they wanted to. 

Petra showed up at my door the morning after Ingrid visited to let me know Edelgard had sent her a letter officially requesting that Petra join her cause. It made me sick, that the Empire would use Petra as a political pawn her whole adult life, and then have the audacity to pretend she had a choice in aiding them in this endeavor. Petra had said Edelgard specifically wrote that it was Petra's decision to stand with or against her, but those words rung no more true to us than the ones Petra and Edelgard's families had exchanged when they sent the island princess to Fòdlan. I hugged Petra that day, and let her know that I would never command her to stay by my side if returning to her home was what she wanted- but we both knew that there was slim chance of her seeing Brigid for a long time, no matter which side she chose. In the end, she said she would rather fight with me, and it almost made me tear up; but my body still hadn't been ready to cry yet.

The two of us also discussed Ashe, and how worried we were for him now that his adoptive father was gone. I had been wholly against Lanato's execution, despite him having taken up arms against us; and in fact I had almost left the monastery after it happened. Jeralt was able to convince me to stay, but it had been a long time before I could look Ashe in the eyes, or speak to Rhea again. Ashe didn't have the constitution for full-on war, and I wished there were a place I could send people like he, Ignatz, Marianne, and Bernadetta that they would never have to face it; but the reality was, we needed them to win this just as much as I didn't want them to have to fight. Ferdinand was essentially without title then; on top of having to question the honor of his family- his father, the Duke of Aeigr, specifically- and often wandered the monastery at night, muttering to himself, looking as lost as I felt, sometimes.

I couldn't help but fret at my bottom lip from my perch just inside the window of the officer's room, on the second floor, as I watched people running around below me, a little more frantically than usual, at present. Just when I was about to go see what had everyone so alarmed, I heard footsteps approaching me from the hallway. Shamir and Cyril appeared, the latter a little out of breath. Shamir pierced me with her deep gaze, as her silken hair fell down to the curve of her chin in a half-bow. "Word from the outer villages has Imperial troops here in an hour, maybe less. We need to get everyone together."

Alarm bells began tolling to punctuate her, and my heart dropped into the pit of my stomach. We already had word that the invasion could come at any time, but it was still hard to face the impending threat now that it was finally upon us. And what was worse, I would have to sit around and watch, some more. I didn't know what Rhea had said to Seteth, but he was evermore protective of me since our conversation about the nature of my being, after the mausoleum. I didn't know what her angle was, but he doubly insisted I stay on the 3rd floor and wait for orders to take action; more earnestly than her, he had told me he feared for my personal safety more than anything, at that point. It made me all the more curious about his motive, but we scarcely got further into that than him telling me I was, "precious" to him then, but he refused to tell me why. 

What was left of the greater knights and students gathered in the entrance hall with myself and Alois, who was currently giving a speech to bolster the kids. He turned to me, as if he wanted me to step in and help him, but just at that moment the main gatekeeper came into the back of the room and caught my eye. I looked back at Alois' expectant silence, and I thought I saw fear in his gaze, for a moment. Silently, I murmered, "I'm sorry, I'll be right back, I promise," and turned toward where the gatekeep was approaching from. He met me halfway, out of earshot of the main group, and I noticed he was holding something tightly to his chest. "What's going on, is everything alright?"

He was out of breath, stringy, blonde hair haphazard under his helmet as he glanced over my shoulder slightly, before extending his hand to me, and the semi-crumpled scroll within it. It was bound in black ribbon, but otherwise didn't have any outer seal, or indication of who it was from. I took it from him just as he took a step back and did an awkward salute. "Urgent message just arrived by courier pigeon for you Professor...but I'm afraid I have to return to my position now."

I nodded that he could go, thanking him, and looked back over my shoulder at the greater group as he trotted quickly back out of the room. Seeing that Catherine was now speaking and I might have some time, I looked back down at the scroll, getting an odd, ominous feeling about it. I took the ribbon in my fingers and pulled, only realizing after I felt the fabric of the little thing that it had been mine. Pulse skipping, I tried to think of the last place it had been, but I rarely wore it, and could only surmise it would have been in its usual place, in my desk drawer, or...under my pillow. I blanched and felt cold, stuffing the ribbon into my pocket and unfurling the message, scanning it as quickly as possible. Scribbled in harsh lines and loops I also recognized, it read, 

> _Dearest Beth,_
> 
> _It is with great shame that I humbly apologize for my thoughtless actions toward you. I feel that I owe you my own life for sparing Edelgard a second time, and it is for that reason I am risking it to warn you of her plan. I feel it is important to state that I have tried to talk her out of it every step of the way, but it has been for naught._

I swallowed hard, throat suddenly dry. I could hear Shamir giving some last minute tips and instructions behind me, so I finished the letter as fast as I could, reading, 

> _Edelgard intends to launch a full frontal assault as a decoy,_ _while she unleashes_ _beasts to flank the rest of the monastery. Some of them can fly, there will be nowhere that is safe. There is something more; Lord Arundel's battalions are waiting under cover of fog and forest to clean up whomever is left to resist her._ _I know it's pointless to beg you to leave, so I will only say this;_ _I don't expect you to forgive me, but please know I tell the truth when I say that, though I lied to you indirectly about many things, I was never dishonest about my feelings_ _toward you. Take that for what you will._
> 
> _Farewell, Beth._

The tears finally fell then, but I had folded the paper and shoved it into my coat before they could moisten it. Making a decision, I turned on my heel and ran back to the rest of the group, wiping my face with my sleeve as I went. Sylvain turned to me, having been behind most of the others, and his eyes went wide when he saw my face. "What's up teach, you look like you've seen a ghost!"

I tried to control my features as I pushed past him, around the bulk of the students ant toward Alois, Catherine, and Shamir. Shamir gave me a once over before realizing I was in distress- everyone else who had been speaking went silent and turned to us. I looked to them and said, "Things are worse than we feared. Edelgard has somehow taken control of beasts. She intends to fly some of them in and flank the entire monastery."

Silence was replaced by many voices, most of them sounding panicked and perhaps higher than usual. I hadn't meant to scare them, but with this new information we were definitely going to have to be prepared sooner. There was no way I would sit up in a tower for this fight and watch the only people left I cared about in this world get demolished by Edie's demented monsters, and all of her uncle's men. Catherine, whom had been eyeing me suspiciously, asked, "How exactly do you know this for certain?"

I was glad I didn't have to answer immediately, because I hadn't had time to think that far ahead; Seteth and Rhea had entered the hall and were advancing to the head of the group quickly. Rhea held her hand out to me, expectantly- her usual flawless coiffure was frazzled by their trip, and her cheeks looked pink as she said urgently, "Come child. We must go to the tower now."

Seteth was speaking to the other knights in hushed, bassy tones, and the students were loudly chattering amongst themselves; some of them were readying their weapons. I looked back to Rhea, and found my hand subconsciously going to my own sword, strapped to go in my hip harness. "Rhea, circumstances have changed. I cannot simply sit this out."

I caught her gaze, begging it with mine to witness the group of children before us. "Look at them Rhea, they need us- need me, to win this, and you know it."

The sorrow in her pastel green eyes as she regarded them told me more than she knew- it told me she may already been aware of the likelihood of Edelgard utilizing beasts against us, and simply hadn't been forthcoming about it. She looked back to me and those little pools hardened into jade pendants as she declared forcefully, "Enough of your insolence, young one. You will come with Seteth and I at once, for your own protection."

I saw her notice me take the hilt of the Sword of the Creator casually in my non-dominant hand. Not a threat, necessarily, but certainly a warning. I told her lowly, through my teeth, "I don't think so, Rhea."

When she found my gaze again her eyes had narrowed into angry little lines, and I had never felt effected by her voice before, but I was when she said, "You do not have a choice this time, Byleth."

Before I had to make a decision on what to do next, the walls shook from the boom of a great, long, inhuman screech coming from what sounded like almost everywhere- which wasn't good, because it meant the demon who howled it was close. On instinct I screamed, "Everyone, to the stables or your stations immediately! It's time to go!"

I heard Alois and Catherine echoing me, as they all filtered out of the room with their respective groups of students. Gilbert was taking Calvary, and Hanneman and Manuela should have already been on their respective artillery with battalions. I didn't even look at Rhea as I bounded toward the exit, but I could just hear her calling for me as I dashed around the corner and away from where anyone else was going. I headed through the courtyard, down past the academy. I could hear more howling screeches in the distance, and quickly dashed into an alcove, out of sight, as I heard the beating of one's massive wings behind me. I watched the ground in front of me erupt in purple waves of sickening poison, and I sunk to the dirt, digging through my coat for a hankerchief. When my fingers found one, I pressed it over my nose and mouth firmly, before running back out into another courtyard, and on past the reception hall. The beast continued ahead of me, unleashing more poison gas in his wake. I screamed at everyone I passed to cover their mouths and noses until they were clear of the clouds. Then a much greater shadow loomed ahead of me, and I looked up to see the greatest, whitest wyvern I had ever laid eyes on. It roared an echoing, oppressive sound as it flew toward the steeple, and I followed it as closely as I could. Free of the nauseous gasses now, I forgot my kerchief and continued running with my eyes upon the belly of the beast. There was no way that was a regular wyvern, or even one of Edie's monstrosities; there were three of those approaching from the mountains south of the cathedral, coming to meet the great white dragon in the air just as I made it to the long bridge ahead of the chapel gate. 

I watched them grapple in the sky, at a loss for what I should do. Then the great white dragon reared its head back, and the loudest cry of all rang out of its throat along with a beam of red magic to match the size of its maw. I blanched as I saw the beam vaporize not only the beasts in its wake, but a large part of the top of the chapel went cascading to the earth beneath it in a crumbling avalanche of stone and glass. I almost stumbled from the force of it as I watched one of the beasts fall through the air to my west- crashing to the mountainside in a heap of smoldering meat. I had no idea where the other two had gone. The white dragon cried out loudly once more, perching atop what was left of the cathedral, and seemed to look down at me, in agony. Then it called out in a voice I thought too familiar, and I realized this great beast must be none other than Rhea. Her usual singsong alto seemed otherworldly in my ear then, as it echoed all around me, she cried, "Get out of here, foolish girl! You must-"

Rhea was cut off by a bolt of powerful magic cast from someone flying in on a smaller, armored wyvern from her southeast. I drew my sword, squinting, and realized it was Jeritza- or rather the Death Knight, and Edie. Rhea cried out again, lifting her great body into the air and rearing back, as the wyvern landed on the drawbridge, closer to the church. The ground shook perilously with the weight of it, and when Edie jumped off to the meet it, I took the opportunity to rush her. She had barely had time to recover in her cumbersome armor, and Jeritza had taken off to continue baiting Rhea. Unsheathing my sword, with fury in my eyes, I lashed it out at her, and the segments stretched faster than my eye could watch. She threw herself to the side at the last minute, just missing the tip of my blade. Screaming, I caught it back like a boomerang and kept charging. Just as I was close enough to see the lavender of her eyes, as we were both rearing back to strike at each other once more, the bridge began to shake with the force of another one of Rhea's thunderous cries. My trajectory was interrupted and I stumbled, trying to regain my balance. When I had, I glanced back up to Edelgard, who was looking over my shoulder. I took one moment to glance back, and saw one of Rhea's great wings cascading down toward the stone below- if it hit, the bridge would collapse- I couldn't take any chances. Not bothering to look back to see if Edie had crossed the small space to safety, I turned on my heel and sprinted back toward the grounds proper. I dashed under the sprawling, ivory wing just as it made contact with the bridge, and then the ground was flying out from underneath me. I screamed, running, jumping, but the stones were falling faster than I could use them to move my body. When I got to the edge I leapt, closing my eyes, praying that my hand would make contact with the other side.

I cried out again as I felt large, long fingers wrap around my left hand, and when I opened my eyes, Hubert was there, above me- only his grasp between myself and certain death. His other hand came to grab my arm, but unless I could get my sword out of my other hand, he may not have been able to pull me up without taking the whole thing off at the socket. Hubert began trying to use his leverage to pull me upward, struggling with the effort to remain above ground, when suddenly, a piece of earth crumbled beneath my boot. I felt something slip away from my left hand, and then there was an aggressive weightlessness. It seemed like my soul was leaving my body when I started falling, and I had only seconds to look up and see the heartbreak in Hubert's sunken eyes as I began tumbling, sliding down into the empty air beneath. He screamed after me, again and again, but his voice became quieter the longer I fell. Then I hit something solid with a sickening sound, and everything was darkness.

My spirit felt like it was floating, for some time, after that, though I can't say for how long. I tried to open my eyes to see where it was going, but there was some force keeping them closed, as if I wasn't supposed to know how to get there. I somehow understood it was only my spirit, and not my body, because of an ever-present sensation in the back of my head of being separated from it. Not only was Sothis quiet, as I floated aimlessly in some void for however long I floated, I felt her distinct absence as if it were active. Somehow I knew she was somewhere else; or at least, not with me, presently. Suspended in that awkward space between realities, I eventually started to hear voices, but much like that of Sothis they were muffled, far away, and unintelligible. Sometimes I thought I heard the voice of someone I recognized, and I would cry out- but it was fruitless. My limbs remained motionless as my mouth, and no sound would come from me, despite my efforts to the contrary. 

After a time I began to grow more relaxed; after all, if fighting this limbo was futile, why should I bother? The more relaxed I became, the clearer the words and voices rang to my ear, and for the first time, I was able to place one. It was prince Dimitri, and he sounded desperate. He was whispering prayers to what could only be described as the very sound of silence, as if he were in a small space with few windows. I felt no anxiety for him, as I floated on- in fact I felt that weighty nothingness once more- as I began to hear different voices. Many voices, in fact. It sounded as if they were all in a much larger room, one that echoed with the sound of the one word they were all chanting, over and over again- my name- somehow I knew they were addressing me, despite them using moniker I was unfamiliar with. I began to feel something; some compulsion, at the sound of this, and tried to open my eyes to console them, but once again I felt thrust into a different space, populated by a different voice- a voice I knew for certain to be that of Hubert Von Vestra. 

It rang out, echoing into what can only be described as chaos around it, sounding frantic, "Edelgard!"

My heart leapt into my chest, and for the first time my eyes came close to opening. I listened harder, but all I could hear then was what sounded like the roaring of flames in yet another enclosed space, then more softly, "I'm so sorry, Beth. Please forgive me."

Finally, my eyes opened, but all I saw was white, so blinding hot that it hurt my eyes, and I screamed Hubert's name. I thought I saw him then, turning to look in my direction, but his face seemed blurred, or marred somehow. I urged my body to move through the space, to reach out to him, but again it seemed I had no control over my limbs. Hubert's voice faded slowly from my mind, and I found myself calming once more. I felt further away from my body than ever then as I continued on, still weightless, flying through the ether between realities as my body took its rest.

I have no idea how long I floated before I started feeling the sensation of sinking- not quickly, by any means, but faster than my meandering rise had been. My requiem had been peppered with more vague, out of focus dream-like experiences; and they intensified in frequency again, as they had when my spirit first entered the void. The voices were much more urgent, and I almost started to grow anxious again when I realized that some of them were crying, or screaming. I subconsciously struggled, for the first time in memory, when I heard the rambling cries of a child, for its mother. Again, I seemed to hear flames roaring against splintering wood, and stones crumbling all around me. It was almost frightening, but I still couldn't feel much of anything- my soul remained in entropy as it had drifted, and I was happy for it then. 

Suddenly it felt as if my form were being sucked into a vacuum, and I thought I heard a distinct popping in my ears, following by a splintering ring, as I realized I had finally reunited with my physical body. The I noticed two things at once; one, I was underneath something very heavy, and two, Sothis was buzzing in the back of my mind like a radio frequency, drowning out the ring in my ears. Trying to mentally clear the cobwebs so she could break through, I felt my physical body start to struggle again too. I startled when I realized I had begun to hear Sothis' words clearly- she was telling me I had to get up, that it was time, that my rest was over. I heard something shift from over top of me, and I thrust both of my arms up as hard as I could. Small rocks stuttered away where my arms broke free- one still clutching the Sword of the Creator- and larger ones fumbled down the pile to the grass below as I sat up, gasping at the sunset coming through dead trees over the horizon. The air was so cold, and fresh in my lungs that breathing was almost painful, so I tried to regulate it slowly. Pulling myself up further, I felt more stones scraping at my arms and legs until finally, I was standing on my feet again, in what was left of a once-thriving riverbed. 

I glanced around in the increasing dark, and when I realized I couldn't hear Sothis' voice anymore, my heart felt sad. I almost cried out at the sensation- it had been ages since I had felt anything- but my head snapped back around when I heard the snapping of twigs under a boot. I threw myself off balance by doing so, and half-stumbled the rest of the way out of the stones I had been beneath, to the feet of a very confused looking man in a farmer's hat. He glanced to my sword and began raising his hands slowly upward, in surrender. I tried to harness the thing, but the leather one at my hip seemed to have snapped at some point. I splayed one palm outward, trying to use my voice, but only a strange squeak came out at first. Clearing my throat, I discovered my mouth was bone-dry as I said, "I didn't mean to scare you, and I mean you no harm."

He lowered his hands a little, but didn't seem to relax at all. A little bewildered, he seemed to take in my strange appearance and asked, "Who are you? Where did you come from?"

I didn't know what to say at first, and I was worried about the sun going down. I had no idea where I was, not to mention _when_ I was, so I said, "I'm not sure how I got here. I'm, uh...lost. Can you point me in the direction of Garreg Mach monastery?"

His hands finally fell to his sides, as if he were finally sure I wasn't about to rob or murder him, and his eyes squinted a little. Then one hand rose and a thumb pointed back over his shoulder toward the sunset. "Are...are you serious? That place has been abandoned for five years. Nothin' but thieves and highwaymen up there anymore."

I felt my face go cold; had I really heard him say five years? I didn't bother asking what moon it was, or why the monastery was abandoned, or anything else. My mind was still foggy from sleep, and now that my emotions seemed to be mostly working again, my anxiety was trying to break through that fog with vengeance- and I couldn't let that happen before I got back to Garreg Mach. Highwaymen or not, I could hole up there and be safe until I figured out what he hell was going on. I thanked him for the information, apologized again for giving him a scare, and pushed past him toward where he had pointed. He turned after me, and called out, "Strange you're looking for something there tonight. This would have been the the day of the Millennium Festival."

My pulse jumped but I kept walking, more determined than ever to get to the monastery before darkness made my trip take longer. I had a sinking feeling that I wouldn't be the only one looking for something at Garreg Mach that auspicious night.


	9. Reunion I

Before I started to run, I took the broken halves of my hip harness and tied them into an awkward belt that would hold my sword for the time being. I'd figure out a more permanent solution later- and for my tattered coat and clothes, as well. My tights had all but disintegrated, and I ripped what was left of them away from my body, discarding them to the grass before breaking into a quickening jog.

I wasn't counting minutes, but as the side of the monastery loomed closer and closer the faster I stumbled over the earth to get to it, I realized I must not have been washed too far away from where I fell. The sun still looked like fire coming through what was left of the deadening scenery as it whizzed past me. I wasn't doing a very good job of controlling my breathing, and began developing a cramp that gave me pause, after a while- I was understandably out of peak shape. I stopped in the midst of the riverbed I had been following, finally taking a moment to see just how decimated the flora all around me was. There must have been great fires in all of the surrounding villages that the trees and other greenery still hadn't quite recovered from, or perhaps a draught. 

On my way out of the village I washed up in, I had noticed a feeble attempt at fruit and vegetable crops, but it looked like they had hardly returned to a point of food sustainability. Having caught my breath, I decided it was time to move up the riverbed, or I would soon be too deep into the mountanside to safely make my way up to the grounds proper; what was left of its tall structures still sitting dark and brooding against the dimming sunlight. After some time, I made it to the stone walls surrounding the monastery, and it took me several more minutes to come upon a crumbled section of it. Quickening my pace in the increasing dark, I made my way to the little hole and through it, finding myself just outside the academy- not far from where my quarters had once been. I glanced over to notice that most of the dorms were still standing, including mine, but I couldn't bring myself to go there; didn't really see the point in stirring up old memories now that I could feel things again.

Fate had other plans it seemed- I found myself wandering aimlessly, as I often had during my tenure there, just taking in all of the differences- everything that had eroded due to battle, time, or poor use by thieves and bandits. Passing by each classroom, I could see evidence of their populace here and there; moldy food scraps, bits of bone, broken bottles, ratty linens- all left behind to rot and collect dust, just like the rest of the place. Everything there used to be so bright, and vibrant, but now it all stood stark, echoing with an emptiness that I could almost physically feel. Maybe it was energies from that bygone era my life had once been, or the spirits of those who were damned by Edelgard's war that called to me then, whispering me around to witness everything that had fallen. There was an eerie silence as I entered the reception hall, and an awful, acrid smell hanging in the air. I gasped, glancing around in horror as I realized why; everything in the room that wasn't made of stone had been ravaged by flame, splintered and rendered into nothing more than shrapnel and piles of ash. I got a horrible sucking feeling in my chest, like a vacuum had opened up there, and my hand clutched my breast in horror as I realized I had felt the feeling of this room being ravaged by flame before, though there was no possible way I had physically been there. 

The odd feeling of adjacency with the state of the space disappeared as soon as it had come to grip me, and I moved out of the great, empty hall as fast as I could, not really paying attention to where I was going. All I knew was I didn't want to feel that odd, gripping sensation again any time soon. I decided to let simple curiosity fuel my next steps, and I found myself moving toward the staircase to the second floor, where the library, offices, and noble noble dormitories were. If nothing else, I wanted to get an idea of how safe it would be to go up there, in the future. I had watched part of the chapel crumble during Edie's assault, but I wasn't sure what else had been damaged in that battle, or come to crumble in the five years since. The stone stairs stood, no worse for wear, only caked in dirt and dust. Taking a deep lungful of the musty air around me, I ascended each step, footfalls muffled to my ear by my pulse, and breathing. It was darker up there, but moonlight still streamed through parts of the roof that had fallen. These holes were great, but few in number, which gave me hope that they might one day be repaired. I stopped midstep, wondering why I bothered to fret over the future of this place, but then- it had been my most permanent home, so I supposed some form or other of mourning for it should be expected. I heard Sothis muttering softly then, and my pulse jumped. Looking around the hall had moved into, I noticed a door that had a plaque hanging lopsided at the hinges. Moving toward it, I wiped the dust away from the pewter sign that read, _"Library Archives. Students Prohibited."_

Taking Sothis' buzzing to mean I should look within, I raised a hand to the knob, but it was stuck or still locked. Focusing my energy, I pushed out a little shock of electric magic to melt the thing without burning anything around it. It took a few sparks, but eventually with a shove of my shoulder, the heavy wooden door swung open before me. The air inside of it was incredibly dry, and warm. I almost swallowed a little, but stopped myself and continued into the moderately sized room instead. It was a good size, but rendered much smaller to the eye due to bookshelves lining it from floor to ceiling, and almost every available space upon the ground was also covered in haphazard piles of books and papers. It reminded me of a place I had seen before, a very long time ago. I was immediately drawn to the only area of the floor that wasn't being suffocated by an avalanche of tomes, and I stepped into the space, regarding the bookshelf it preceded. Volumes and volumes of knowlege lay there, bound in everything from more paper, to leather, and perhaps other things. A particular one caught my eye, two rows above my head, just within my reach, on my toes. It seemed to shine, even in the overwhelming darnkess- solid little things covered it, black and scalelike- I had to see what it was. Lengthening my body as much as possible, I extended a hand to grab the thing, but it only came so far. My fingers slipped from it and I lost my balance, falling backward into a stack of files, knocking them to a mess at my back. A strangely familiar creaking commenced, and all at once I realized where I was as the bookshelf swung open, upon some sort of hinges. The room before me hung with a dank, stale emptiness just as the previous one had, and I came to know that this was the office of Hubert's relative. 

I hadn't been watching when he'd brought me there to tend my wounds all those years ago, but something, Sothis or otherwise, had drawn me back there then. I moved up into my feet, and into the space, hand subconsciously raising up to light the fireplace with magic, just as Hubert had done. Collapsing onto the little lounger in front of it I stared into the flames, letting myself become enthralled by the way they danced and licked one another, even with barely any wood to feed them. They seemed happy to be alive again, after having slept so long. Considering all that had happened to me in that room, and between myself and the man who brought me to it, I found it a little hard to share in their joy at being awake once more. They had no capacity to feel, but I did again, and my memory took me to those last moments I had been able to look upon Hubert's face as I fell into that abyss. I couldn't believe all that he had done, hadn't had time to consider the true scope of it, but my heart still broke that he had tried to save me not once, with his warning letter, but twice, with his own hands. He had failed, but maybe that was for the better. I wasn't sure I had any desire to be awake for the sprawling years of chaos and sadness I had missed. 

There was a familiar, prickling sensation at the back of my neck, and before I turned my head I felt the distinct presence of someone else in the room. I didn't dare to dream it was him, but I looked anyways, and fresh tears poured from my lids as I witnessed the low light of the flames dancing upon the looming, dark figure that was Hubert Von Vestra. My eyes were wide as I regarded him, and I couldn't help a hand drawing itself up to cover my mouth. Hubert had always been tall, but he was taller now, broader still- cast even moreso by the fur lapel of the cloak he'd loaned me once. I wondered how long it had smelled of me when he began wearing it again. I couldn't see his face, and he wouldn't step further into the room, so I rose, taking a handful of steps toward him. His hair was short, so much shorter than I was used to- but his trademarks shock of dark bangs still hung, marring one entire side of his gaunt face. He'd lost weight, but gained muscle, and it showed everywhere, even in his military robes. He opened his mouth, as if he might say something, but it closed again in a puff of air that became a small rasp of a sigh, and the noise stirred something within me. 

I closed the space between us, encircling him with my arms, pressing my face into the rumpled fabric at his chest, and I made a little sound of my own, on accident, when we collided. Hubert sighed again, and his strong arms came to rest around my much smaller frame. I didn't know why, but I was overcome with joy that he had come back, that he had heeded the promise to return to the monastery just as I just realized, I was secretly hoping he would. Lowly, he murmered into my hair, "If you're a spectre come to end me, all I ask is you do it quickly. I cannot bear to lose you twice."

I would have chuckled if it weren't so sad- of course, Hubert should have had no real hope of finding me again that day, he had watched me fall to the mountains. I backed away slightly, hoping to console him somehow, trying to pull him into the room with me, but he resisted, and I still couldn't really see his eyes. Raising a hand, I intended to cup his face and bring it down to mine, but he again, dodged my advances.

Starting to get anxious, I used both hands to grasp his face tightly, and his came to encircle my fingers, but not in time to stop me. I noticed something strange about the skin on the right side of his face, just as I managed to stumble him back with me enough to see what he had been trying so hard to hide. The left side was normal, alabaster cheek framing his wild, acidic eye; but the bangs that had been covering his right were now hanging haphazard, and revealed something completely different. The skin there was darker somehow, and looked as if it had been melted away and fused back together by someone very poor at their craft; it took my mind too long to put together that they were burns, and I glanced to where his other eye should have been, frightened of what I might find. The breath left me in a shuddering gasp of relief when I realized there was still a little citrine pendant shining there, it was just swaddled in the scar tissue upon his cheek and temple. _How had this happened to him?_ How had my spook, usually so nimble, so ahead of every situation, managed to become so nearly fatally injured? I wondered how far the burns extended, just how much of his body had been affected by the incident, but I was still too floored by seeing him in such a state to ask anything.

Hubert was breathing fast now, chest heaving slightly with the effort, but he made no move away from me. The look in his poor eyes was so pained and frantic that my heart broke over again, and I could do nothing more than draw him closer to me, closer to my lips. I paused before meeting his, deciding instead to press my mouth against the mound of scar tissue where his lips met his cheek, as if I could heal it with my touch. I felt him shake, humming a little in response, but he still didn't pull away. I kissed him gently then, and his mouth was just as soft as I remembered, just as warm, and welcoming; it seemed to melt into mine, and for a moment, it was like old times. Using one hand to swing shut the door behind us, Hubert pressed upon my hip with the other until the backs of my knees met the little chaise across from the fire. I let myself fall onto the cushions, and learning from our past experiences- worked to get him out of his trousers before he could get a leg, or a hand, up on me. Something had changed in Hubert, though, and where before he would have taken to teasing me before I made work of his pants, this time he merely thrust one palm into my shoulder, forcing me on my back, beneath him. He wasted no time in removing my tattered shorts- I hadn't even had a moment to become comfortable before he palmed my womanhood- causing it to erupt with a sense of vibrating energy that seemed to move from there, up my spine, to encompass my whole body. I was taken so far back- both by his forwardness, and by how much he seemed to have perfected that sexual magic of his in our time apart; all I could do was mewl underneath him. A large hand came to cup my breast, and I felt a blush rise to my cheeks as I reveled in the feeling of his flesh against mine, once more. I thought no other person I had been with had the ability to set me so alight- despite my years of slumber having set my body back, in that respect.

Then I saw him fumbling with his own trousers to undo them, and he reclaimed my mouth, one hand grasping the back of my neck, as the other helped him drive deep into me. I cried out again, and so did he- a stuttering, raspy thing- and I couldn't help but notice how much more he had filled out in those other places too. He seemed thicker, and just a little bit longer, as his manhood slid into my inner button and beyond, reaching the point of no return. I felt those tufts of hair at his groin prickling my most sensitive parts, and I sighed his name into his mouth as he continued thrusting into me with purpose. He let out a shuddering noise at the sound, quickening his pace. I let him fill me with his body, with sensation, and for once didn't care who heard our goings on. It was freeing, to be able to cry out for him just as loudly and readily as I had always wanted to. Hubert's voice echoed around us both, and I found the wanton bass in it decadent to my ear. He pulled back, away from me, keeping his pace, but lowering a hand to encircle my little nib with a thumb and forefinger, twisting and rubbing it with his slickening digits. My legs began to shake as matched the rythm of his hands and hips, and in moments I came over the edge almost growling. I became useless for many moments, seeing dark and colored stars behind my lids as I tried to get ahold of my breathing. Hubert's hips met mine with force several more times before his body froze above me, shuddering harder than my legs had. His voice came out in deep, loud bursts and I found myself clutching him tightly as he spilled himself for me. How had I not remembered how much I had missed this?

I continued thinking pillow talk to myself, coming down from the high of it all, as my breathing continued slowing down. Hubert's chest expanded and retracted in my arms, still clutching him to me. He didn't seem to mind, and had come to rest his face in the crook of my neck, pressing soft kisses there, every few moments. I ran my fingers through his course, messy bangs, bringing the marred side of his face to my lips and peppering it with gently kisses. He seemed nervous that I was touching them again, but didn't try to stop me, so I continued until I had covered all of the wounded space available to me. I had another staggering thought about how far the burns extended, but brushed the upsetting notion away to be dealt with later. 

Withdrawing from his body a bit, I slid backwards so I could sit up, just a little, but his head remained low, in my lap, as if he didn't want to move. I let him lay there, just for a while, but my own anxiety prevented us from resting much longer. As my pulse slowed, I came to move my hands through what was left of his hair again, for a while, before softly whispering, "Tell me what happened, Hubert."

It was a demand I was unwilling to let him run away from any longer- I had wanted to reunite our bodies just as much as he seemed to- but the elephant in the room still loomed large between us. He let out a long, quivering sigh, but still wouldn't move; effectively collapsed in my lap, like a child, but I didn't mind, so long as he told me the truth. Finally, he drew in another breath, and said, "Lady Edelgard saw me try to save you, five years ago. She had her Death Knight set the reception hall ablaze with me inside of it."

I suddenly became so sad that I almost couldn't bear it. I imagined Hubert- lost after having failed to save me- trying to find Edie in the chaos only to have her rebuke him in such a way. It had been such a long time since I felt anything that feeling seemed to come with ease then, and I continued stroking Hubert's wiry locks as a tear spilled down my cheek. "She meant to kill you, Hubert. She didn't care if you died."

He lifted his head up then, pitiful sour gaze capturing my own as he said, "I would rather it be so!"

He lifted himself up then, folding against the back of the sofa as he lamented, "I wished just as hard, that you were dead, so I may not have to consider a life either with or without you, again."

I folded my hands into my lap, not letting his hurtful words sink in- I knew he barely meant them, anyways. I kept my voice even and low as I asked, "Then why did you come to me?"

His one eye found me, the other covered by tresses once more, and the emotion behind his gaze was so raw, I think I stopped breathing for a moment. He whispered, "How could I not come to you, Beth?"

Suddenly, he covered his face with his hands, shoulders slumping- I couldn't remember ever seeing him look so utterly defeated before. "Your hex upon me has scarcely faded. Not a day has passed these five long years that I did not close my eyes and see your beautiful face, at least once. You have...haunted me, this time you've been gone."

He lowered his hands, refixing his trousers as he stared strait ahead of himself, into the flames. I took his words into considerate silence. During my sleep I had felt nothing, but gooseflesh arose when I realized within my requiem I had somehow experienced the fire with him, just for a moment. I reached out and lay my small hand on his much larger one, curling my fingers underneath his. His silence stretched on, but I could feel his pulse still quick under his thumb. It occurred to me to ask, "What have you done all this time?"

His hand clenched mine tightly, but he wouldn't look at me, only continued frowning at the dimming fire. Surely he didn't go back to Edie after what she'd done to him; surely he'd been holed up, safe, some part of the resistance, and that's why he was back- to collect me, finally. The quiet was starting to make me feel more anxious, so I tightened my fingers around his, softly pressing, "Hubert?"

His breath escaped him in a rattling sigh, but it hung in the room alone for a moment, until finally Hubert spoke again, "After the fire, Edelgard returned for my remains, but found me barely alive in the rubble. I hadn't the strength to tend to my burns fully, but I managed to kept myself alive. Afterward, she told me my punishment for surviving would be my continued indefinite service to the Hresvelg dynasty. I have served as advisor and head of her personal military ever since."

He finally dared to look at me, but I couldn't focus on anything accept the ringing in my ears. What was this reality? Hubert had been Edelgard's closest confidant, her servant almost her whole life, and yet she still threw him away like a casual enemy just for trying to save me. I knew she was ruthless, but what happened to her that made her capable of such a thing? I was suddenly reminded of Dimitri- and then it struck me- they were the same, he and she; Edelgard had just been much better at hiding her insanity than anyone could have ever imagined. I moved toward him, cupping his smooth cheek in my other palm, begging him with my eyes. His other hand came to encircle my wrist, and I found myself pulled into his lap, slightly.

I whispered, "She has to be stopped," pressing my lips to his- he welcomed them, but I pulled away, continuing, "We must stop her."

I was almost glad the fire was dying out, I was having a hard time not staring at what little of his scars I could see; not because they repulsed me, but because they broke me, brought me grief, and I felt somehow responsible. He wouldn't look at me again, and sighed, body stilling, hands returning to his lap. I could barely hear him say, "I cannot help you, Beth."

I moved away from him, disconnecting our limbs- his hand seemed to trail after me, as if it missed the contact, before dropping to the cushion beneath it. My voice was raised, despite trying to keep it even, as I said, "You must be joking, Hubert."

Glancing around, I found my shorts and began returning them to my person, stumbling through the holes in anger. "You know I am not. I betrayed her, Beth. Betrayed my name, the only thing I believe I possess that was of any worth-"

I stood, furious now, and he seemed to startle, hair moving away from the mounds of burns, but it didn't diffuse the upset I was feeling, and I found myself shouting, "You betrayed _me_ , Hubert! You both betrayed me!"

He almost looked scared, but I knew it wasn't of me hurting him physically; he was scared of things that had the ability to hurt him more, then- my words. I was reminded of the time my thoughts came tumbling out of my soul half baked when I was with Linhardt, processing my possible love for the man in front of me, as I continued, "I taught the two of you everything I know about magic, about combat- never once with the slightest idea that this war may be the result. You meant to murder your classmates, Hubert. You carried out acts of terrorism under her command, with what I taught you. You-"

I almost gasped, realizing what I was about to say next just as it came out of my mouth, "You helped murder my father."

He rose to meet me, but I backed away reeling, stopping just before my back came to meet the fireplace. His eyes were frantic as he said, "Beth, you must understand Edelgard and I had nothing to do with that!"

I could feel tears starting to well up behind my lids- I was so angry with his reasoning it was bleeding into other emotions- but I blinked them away, refusing to let them fall for him right then. "I would say continuing to team up with the cult responsible counts as having something to do with it, Hubert."

He moved toward me, and I continued backing away, until I met the wall beside the fireplace, almost tripping over a mound of books that looked to be bound in the same material as the one that had granted me access to the room. Hubert stopped, looking stressed as I felt, and continued trying to explain himself. "It pains me that you are convinced of this, and I would be lying if I said I wouldn't have executed your father myself if I had been instructed to do so, back then. But I tell the truth when I say we had nothing to do with his death, Beth, I swear it."

I didn't know what about his words made me believe him, but I did. Still, it scarcely changed anything, and we both knew that. Edelgard and Hubert's trespasses were great, despite what he had done to redeem himself. I didn't have more time to think on it, because he changed the subject, still looking anxious. "I came to the Monastery tonight for two reasons. To see you, because I have harbored a masochistic obsession with this day ever since our final parting-" he paused, vying for and successfully capturing my gaze, before continuing, "and to make sure it was clear of population, for Lady Edelgard's arrival. You see, I am not the only one who has been dreadfully looking forward to the possibility of meeting with you, again."

I crossed my arms over my chest, trying not to let his words sting, and he seemed to pick up on this. "I would have sent someone of much less importance to be here, if I had no priority concerning a chance to look upon your face."

His response did soften me, and I was finding it harder to fight the tears that had pooled in my eyes, now that I was no longer so angry. I even let him close the space between us, and pull me into his arms. I clutched at his robes with my fingers, pressing my face into his chest so firmly I could smell his skin beneath the fabric- sweet, exotic, and musky, just as I remembered it. I felt his voice rumble out of his chest as he murmered into my hair, "I don't think it's within my power to stop loving you, Beth, but there is something you need to understand."

My brow furrowed as I continued breathing softly into him, and he went on, "I will admit, I once harbored the selfish desire that Edelgard would one day return my affections for her, and it fueled my drive to continue proving my family's name still had worth by supporting her and her endeavors. But I have come to realize something in these many years, and the catalyst to unlocking that knowledge was my love for you blooming out of the shadows."

I waited for him to continue, a little confused, but more than curious, and we continued holding each other before he pulled away slowly to look at me. "Facing my feelings for you helped me realize I had been doing Edelgard a disservice, by turning a blind eye to her more extreme wonts, using our ultimate goal for justification. I was a terrible advisor; and I believe I'm responsible for the depths of her atrocities. Had I not been the sword and shield to her blind ambition, none of this may have come to pass."

I could see in his eyes he believed his words to be true, and feeling a responsibility for continuing to guide her certainly explained his demented imprisonment of her whims; but just like his previous devotion to her, in years past, it felt forced, and dramatic to me- as if he truly believed he had no choice. I didn't know If I fully agreed with his assertion- and thought it strange, just how many people had come to seek responsiblility for Edie's madness- including Hubert, myself, Dimitri, and who knew who else; but I did know one thing. Edelgard had never been responsive to tests on her authority, or against her dearly held beliefs. Of all the people I had met during my time at the academy, she was the only person I found hard to sway with more simple logic- as if she only had a mind for her bigger picture she painted of the future- the one she had been hiding until she declared war on the church, and all of her friends. I pulled away from him gently, wiping the stray moisture away from my cheeks, and whispered, "When is she going to be here?"

Hubert frowned, and looked almost sad, breathing out heavily. The light from the fire was almost completely out, dim rays casting awkward shadows upon his burns, as he told me he would meet back up with her within the hour, and then they would both be heading back to the Goddess Tower, where Edelgard hoped to find me. I sighed into the empty air, nervously pulling my coat around myself. "You should probably get going."

He looked so fragile then, I thought his face might break, or tears would form, but the expression hardened in mere moments, and he righted his own clothing in various places. There was a long silence- neither of us knew what to say- but neither of us were leaving, either. Finally, Hubert said quietly, "I know it's pointless to ask you to come back with me, but will you please promise me that you will try to help her, if you can make her listen?"

I stared at the ground between us, trying to sort through my thoughts and say something, but all I could fumble out was, "I'll try," even though I wasn't really sure that was true, anymore.

I had no idea what I was going to do when I saw Edelgard again, but if it wasn't kill her, then the only other option was heeding his words. I couldn't imagine a scenario in which killing her wasn't the best one for everyone involved, but something Lin once said rang in my ears, in memory. Something about doing one's best to avoid bloodshed, but this was war; this had been war, without me, for five years, and while Edie had never been innocent in the time I had known her, she could only be less so, now that she had surely dragged all of Fòdlan down with her and her mindless ambitions to rid out continent of the church, completely. Even I could see the cornerstone of nobility behind her vision for the future- peppered with the atrocities that befell her as a child- but I could never imagine a world in which I myself would be willing to be blinded by the misery and bloodshed her methods had incurred. I looked back up at Hubert once more, feeling empty again, for the first time since my waking. I decided to lean back into him gently, and he came to embrace me once more. I squeezed his chest firmly, eyes shut tight against the stinging, and felt an exhaustion come to accompany that emptiness, suddenly, but I couldn't let it dig its claws into me; my night was far from over. "I can think of nothing she could say that will mend this, Hubert."

His breath left him slowly, in a heavy sigh that disturbed my dirty, sorbet-colored tresses. Had it really been five years since I had taken a bath? Before I had time to consider any other trivialities I had missed during my slumber, he murmured into my hair, "I don't even know that she'll try, but I do know she intends to ask you to join us."

I stood in his arms, face buried in his robes, wishing I could crawl into them and stay, sleep again, as if I had never risen. But no, thoughts like that were selfish now. I was back, and I couldn't help but feel the weight of the responsibility to help dismantle Edelgard's war for the sake of everyone I knew- everyone whom I hoped were still alive and safe, somewhere- and help whoever remained scrape back together some semblance of peace among the territories. Enjoying my last available seconds enveloped in his scent, I breathed in of it deeply, before stepping out of his arms and away from him, expelling it back into the air between us- though I would have rather been able to keep holding that piece of him with me indefinitely, especially because aside from later this evening, I wasn't sure when I would ever see him again. "I could never join her after what she did to you," I whispered into the dark. 

Hubert said, "Beth-" but I refused to let him justify her actions; there were none, in my eyes. I told him I refused to make excuses for tyrants, and had never done so, even for Rhea. He glanced at the floor, and I couldn't tell if it was shame, or sorrow in his eyes when he said, "I know," and didn't finish his prior thought.

Before we parted he took my hand, and I let him press a kiss against the face of it, before he reached into his pocket and withdrew something shiny and silver, even in the low light. My eyes locked upon the thing, and I realized it was my ring just as he moved to put it back on the finger it must have been released from, when I fell from the mountains. I hadn't even noticed it had been missing, since my awakening, and I found myself oddly compelled to remove my hand from his grasp before he could replace the little thing there. Taken aback, he seemed confused, searching my gaze, but I could only look at my ring, in his hands, and wonder how he'd managed to keep it safe all this time, during all the chaos; safe, and a secret. As I pulled my hand back, it reflexively went to wipe my nose, and I quickly recovered with, "Keep it."

I thought I saw the shine of moisture pooling behind Hubert's eyes as he made the decision to listen to me; instead of returning it to his pocket, he clicked it into place with a tiny snap-harness attached to his belt, and it shone there, sparking until his cloak returned to its place at his hip. Refusing to let the feelings come forward, I reached a hand out, pointing to a few loops and straps of leather above his belt. "Give me that. I need it."

Hubert looked more surprised than confused as he glanced down, seeming to realize what I meant. "My sword?"

I shook my head, stepping forward and beginning to unlatch the thing from his waist. He raised his arms up in defeat, allowing me to do so; I unsheathed the sword, throwing it to the ground and withdrawing the contraption that held it, before stepping back and throwing it aside, on the chaise. I was going to have to find clothes that weren't falling apart before I worried about putting weapon-wear on. "You can keep the sword, I just need the harness."

Glancing down at it, I almost thought he would chuckle, as he shrugged and looked back to me, grimacing. "I can't even remember the last time I used the thing."

It made me smile, just slightly; the only physical weapon Hubert wasn't truly bad at wielding was the bow, and he had never been too strong with one of those, either. Manipulating the energies of the universe into offensive magic was, and had always been, his niche. Hubert stepped forward, bringing my forehead to his lips with one hand, and pressed the sweetest of kisses there, before stepping back to bow at the waist and turning to leave. I watched his boots against the floor, and the way his heavy cloak trailed behind him, almost regally. I mused how different his life might have been if he had been born a prince, and not the son of a villanous marquis; wondered if he would have made a better, more even minded leader for Adrestia. Perhaps, perhaps not. Maybe the territories needed to move on from a time when there was one leader of any great region, and the Leicester Alliance had the right idea all along. He looked the part, in any case- so much more grown up than I had ever seen him, as he turned to me a final time. "You should know I ran into a band of familiar faces, on my way to the Monastery."

My pulse leapt into my throat, and I asked him who, letting the urgency leak into my voice. Hubert glanced at the ground, then back up to me before saying, "I scared them off, into a village north of where the church flea markets used to be held, but I imagine they'll try to make their way back here by daylight, looking for you. No one knew what happened to you, the day of our invasion, only that you disappeared. I don't know exactly whom all is in their group, but I could guess many of their faces."

He was being awfully vague, but was making it sound like their party was not lacking in number. I thought the only people present for our promise to reunite at the Millennium Festival were the Black Eagles, but it stood to reason word might have spread to other students that were a part of the resistance. "Why did you spare them?"

He did chuckle then, but there was no amusement on his face as he said lowly, "It would bring me no joy to end their lives, and it served me to keep them away from the grounds, for the time being. I imagine your meeting with Edelgard will be complicated enough, without a greater audience."

I couldn't deny he had a point, but I still didn't fully understand why he chased them away to safety when surely he must have known they were convening to rise up against him, against Edelgard; and to find me to help them. Nodding, I said, "Get moving. The sooner you return with her, the sooner I can get this over with."

Hubert looked lost to me then, as if he were worried for what I might do, when he returned with Edelgard. Rightly so- not even I was sure what would come to pass- but I was sure about not giving Edie any more chances to ruin lives, and I would end hers if it came down to ours hanging together in the balance. She had illustrated to me with great clarity what she was willing to do given power and opportunity, and it was time for me to show her she no longer stood unopposed.


	10. Reunion II

I was surprised to see the bathouse mostly untouched, once I found a way inside of it; the entrance had been blocked by a fallen tree, but I was small enough to make it through an opening and crawl within. No use finding better clothes if I was still a mess underneath them. The air hung warm, damp, and heavy with age. I doubted any one who had come here since the monastery's abandonment had been able to garner access to it, and everything looked nearly the same as before, minus some rubble fallen from areas of the roof that would soon need work. The water was warm when I jumped in after discarding my tattered garments, but not as steaming hot as it had once been. I wondered if it was due to lack of maintenance, or if the source of the spring's heat was faltering. I didn't waste too much time scrubbing, and wrung my hair out with my hands as I walked, stark naked to the dressing rooms, hoping I would be able to salvage something to put on my body. I could have chanced it streaking all the way back to the dorms, but there was no way to know for certain they weren't equally as hard to get into. Not to mention, it wasn't exactly warm now that the sun was down, and that would have made it seem like a much longer trip. With a flourish of wrist and fingers, I lit the torches that were left in their sconces on the wall, and began opening cabinets and locker doors, finding most of them empty, or full of old, useless items, like rags and makeup. When I came upon one of the final cabinets, it swung open to reveal a garment I didn't immediately recognize. It was hanging as if it had been untouched for some time, even before the monastery fell. I plucked it from its little rung and moved into the torchlight for a better look. Finally, I figured out to whom it belonged, or rather, the last person I had seen in it; Dorothea. It was several grey and indigo bolts of fabric– with a rose colored accent bodice– held together with silver beaded chains and braided leather straps; it was more or less, traditional dancing garb of central Fòdlan, and Dorothea had donned it the night she won the White Heron Cup. I smiled sadly, remembering how graceful she had been that evening, as the silk and cotton danced around her abundant frame, and accentuated her ample bossom. She'd looked like a princess that night– and that's what I had wanted– I wanted to give her the choice of making her own way in this world, with or without a noble husband to bring her happiness. At present, the whole thing seemed a meaningless triviality; Edelgard's war had rendered many things such, and I found yet another reason to harbor resentment against her. All of her fellow students, noble and common alike, all of the residents of Garreg Mach Monastery, had been working toward making a better future for themselves, in the most honest way possible– discounting very few individuals– and she had ripped their whole world out from under them because she thought there was only one path to what she wanted. 

I wondered if even she knew what that was, as I began unhooking and wrapping the different scarves and clasps on the dress and reaffixing them around and back onto myself. My sword harness would be tricky, and might chaffe, but right then, the dress was my only option. Not a bad one in any case, I thought, as I made my way back through the little hole in between the tree and the bathouse, almost stubbing my toes on the bark in the only sandals I had been able to find; they were resting in the bottom of the same cabinet as the dress had been. The thing was easy to move in, comfortable even; luckily Dorothea and I were similar of chest size, so everything fit more or less to specification. My hips and bottom were a little wider than hers, but there was nothing much to be done about it. I had another, lighter coat and some more clothing in my room if memory served, for later– if I even lived to see later– but right then there was only one place I needed to be, and I had a feeling I was running out of time to get there.

I hadn't had much to wonder how I was going to make it across the mountain to the chapel– having been there to witness its bridge crumble under my feet. There was more stone path still standing on the side that housed the church, but jutting out of the earth outside of what was left of the path to the reception hall, was what appeared to be a feeble attempt at a horizontal ladder made of rope. It almost could have passed for a temporary bridge, but it wasn't sophisticated or safe enough, and the knots were already strained and fraying. Though often strangely comforted by the presence of heights– this sensation wasn't usually accompanied by clear danger– so I took a deep breath, and began inching my weight slowly onto the rickety little thing. It bowed and swayed as I took mini steps, sweating a little, but staying calm. I let out a breath I hadn't even known I'd been holding when my sandal met solid stone on the other side– luckily only a dozen or so feet had collapsed– if the whole span of the bridge had been replaced with that shoddy situation, I would have found a way around. I wondered how many highwaymen had met their end trying to see what was up in the old chapel, only to slip off of that ragged bridge and fall down the mountain just as I had five years ago; more even than I wondered who had taken so much time to craft the thing. 

There was nothing left of the iron gate, and the large doors of the church stood open for me to move through. The empty, damaged enegry of the place hit me like the large piles of stones on the floor, that had once made up parts of the vaulted ceiling. It was quiet, but not so quiet as I expected– like someone had been here, stirring the air recently. I moved through the space quietly, accoutrements on my gown rustling and clinking together as I walked. The air was almost too thick with dust to breathe, so I began toward the courtyard that would lead me to the Goddess Tower. As I passed by one stone column I thought I heard the echo of a voice, but I didn't stop, just continued listening for it again. There were only my footsteps and more silence in its wake, so I began to pull open the heavy doors in front of me, hoping they weren't too settled by weather and age to be moved. They let out a great, groaning sound accompanied by heavy scratches, and the strength it took to budge them had me only getting a wide enough opening to fit myself through, and moving on. Wiping the years of old crust from my hands, I found myself taking no pause in the courtyard and moved as quickly as I could to the door of of The Goddess Tower– usually locked tight– now standing open to the night air. My pulse quickened with my pace as I wondered if Edelgard and Hubert had somehow beaten me back there. I had tried to make as much haste in preparation as possible. I thought surely not, making my way up to stone steps toward the keep of the tower. I listened carefully, keeping my back to the wall and an eye behind me as I continued up the rows and rows of stairs, hearing nothing but my own near-silent scuffling as I continued my ascent. 

I saw slivers of moonlight just before I came into the atrium-like keep of the tower, and the breeze stopped me momentarily; gusting every now and then, at that height. I heard something on the wind that made my head turn, and there, in the moonlight, was a dirty heap of a man holding himself slumped against a bloodstained lance. I saw long, dingy, golden tresses in the moon's rays and he lifted his head slowly when I stepped forward. My eyes widened, breath catching in my throat, as I realized the person in front of me was Dimitri Blaiddyd; I couldn't fathom what he had been up to in the time I had been asleep, but whatever lifestyle it had been had not treated him well. His eyes only rose to meet me when I was merely steps away– except, something was different– or rather, something was missing. One eye hung nearly shadeless, sallow against his sunken cheek, and the other was banded over by a dark patch of fabric. I dropped to my haunches, hands coming to grasp his broad shoulders– covered now in a looming mound of matted fur that collared his tattered cloak– and the lance he had been clinging to dropped to the floor with a silence-shattering clammer of metal on stone. I tried to get him to look at me, but he wouldn't– or didn't seem to be able to. A glance at his palor and lips told me he was likely severely dehydrated, possibly delirious; he needed help, and fast. "Dimitri, look at me."

I reached to touch his face, but he slapped my hand away, shrugging out of my grasp, yelling into the night, "Don't touch me!"

I didn't move toward him again, but stayed on his level, trying to communicate, calm him down somehow. "Dimitri, it's me, Professor Byleth. I don't know what happened to you, but you're safe now–"

Dimitri looked at me then, that one eye narrow and full of so much hatred it nearly made me gasp, and I clutched my chest, thinking I felt an acute pain there, suddenly. "It is not I that requires protection. It's all my fault! I killed them all. They're all dead now, even Dedue, even you! I know you're just a ghoul come back to torture me this night, and I'm certain you won't be the last."

He lunged for his weapon then but I struck first, knocking it out of his reach with a burst of energy. He turned on me, seemed to growl, like an animal, and sprung forward on his heel in my direction. I scrambled backward, but he was going to reach my throat with his hands if I didn't think fast. My breath left my lungs as my back hit the opposite wall before I had been expecting it, and for an instant, autopilot took over. My palm shot out, fingers from my other hand encircling my wrist as rune-shaped lights appeared between us from thin air. Dimitri cried out before he reached me, as if something great and solid had been in his way, and his body rebounded, all the way back to slam against the wall with a thud near where I had found him. Panting, I ran toward him, whispering his name loudly. I usually never used magic so violent unless I meant to truly hurt someone, but he'd had me cornered, and something else took over. Seeing as it likely saved me from at least injury, I supposed I couldn't be too upset, so long as Dimitri hadn't hit his head too hard. I had just reached him, saw his chest rise and fall beneath his cloak, when I stopped in my tracks; body freezing. I knew Hubert had arrived just before Edelgard's voice rang out chirpy and clipped into the night. "Professor Byleth...though it's true I set time aside for this journey, I never dared to imagine I might see you here again."

I turned to them slowly, light eyes hard, and had to control the heave of my own chest as I regarded the woman that had become Edelgard Von Hresvelg. She had always been attractive, but she stood more striking before me now than ever in memory. She had gained no height, but her fire red dress, cloak, and horned crown left her nothing short of threatening in appearance– fitting, for that of an imposing tyrannical Emperor. I glanced over her shoulder to Hubert, who no longer seemed afraid to look upon me in her presence, which I found simultaneously comforting and unsettling. Edelgard didn't seem to meet my silence well, because her voice was a little less friendly as she said, "I see you brought a pet with you. Pity he was mine long before you got ahold of him. Hubert, collect that dog in the corner."

Her eyes stayed upon mine, but she pointed behind me for dramatic effect, as if either I or Hubert needed her to sniff out where Dimitri was. My eyes cut from her back to Hubert, who no longer held my gaze as he moved around Edelgard and toward me– there was no heart in his advance, he knew I would challenge him– and I did, laying a hand on my sword, not yet unsheathing it. "This is between she and I, Hubert. If she wants her pet so bad she can retrieve him herself."

I didn't truly think Dimitri was anyone's pet, and harbored a theory that my experience of him during my rest had been of his solitary imprisonment under her rule. Protecting him may not have been my responsibility, but I felt one towards him in that moment nonetheless. Hubert looked into my eyes, pained, but I knew he wasn't sad– tortured, maybe, but his gaze hardened before he turned to Edelgard, using it to ask her for his next orders. Unsheathing her own sword, Edie walked toward us, moving past Hubert and coming to stop a few paces away from me. She smiled, periwinkle eyes alight with what almost looked like glee as she nodded to Hubert. "I suppose our teacher has a point, Hubert. I captured Dimitri the first time, it's only fair I should have to reclaim him myself."

I unsheathed my sword, pointing it at her strong, with both arms; really taking the measure of her with my stare. "You're a monster, Edelgard."

Her neatly trimmed silver brows furrowed, rendering her less striking, more childish somehow, as she said, "Excusing yourself, that man tried to take my life. As Emperor of Adrestia, I put him to death five years ago, as was my right. That other dog from Duscur managed to secure his escape with his own life– not to mention take those of many of my soldiers. It it is my right over again to take him prisoner once more."

Though I hadn't known Dedue well, my heart broke a little for both he and Dimitri at the thought of his death. The poor man had been unhinged before, but without his best friend and handler, I shuddered to think what his days had been like since his passing. Knuckles turning white upon the hilt of my weapon, my words came out through nearly gritted teeth. "Your right to take him prisoner, real or imagined, is not what makes you a monster, Edelgard."

Her eyes hardened further then, but she still held her sword at rest, as if she didn't think it was worth it to challenge me yet. Her voice was even, but loud as it rung out, "No, crests, and the dastardly pursuit of nobility related to them is what damned me to my monstrosity, Professor."

I remembered what she had told me, that night I'd found her crying for her family in her sleep; that she would do anything, make any decision she had to, if she thought it meant it would bring her even one step closer to her goal of a world above the thumb of church, and its dearly held ideals. Edelgard never seemed to truly absorb the knowledge I had tried to impart upon her; that her ambition was burning too hot, and it might one day cloud her judgement. I told her to listen closely to those around her– but even then, as I could not have known– it had already been too late to get through to her. Her megalomaniacal plans were working well away under everyone's noses. "The men who hurt you and your siblings are without question, the scum of the planet, and deserve to reap what they sow. But they did not make you irreversibly scar your closest friend, and they did not force your hand into this war! There are other ways to rework the system of nobility– even the way crests are handled, socially, if you had just tried to think about it a little more creatively, and a little less disastrously."

Edelgard scoffed then, and the anger bled from her face, seemingly to mine, replaced by a grimace of amusement. "Even you must see there is no room for a true meritocracy in the world in this state. Only by burning the wickedness down and rebuilding it from the ashes anew can we hope to sculpt it in a more peaceful image– my image."

Hubert himself grimaced behind her, and I almost laughed, lowering my sword slightly with the effort not to. "Your image, Edie? And did you ever bother to run your image past anyone who might not want to die for it? Or someone who might have been able to help you find another solution? You know you're not the only one who reviles crests and nobility, even within the Church."

Edelgard seemed angry again, fingers curling dangerously over the hilt of her sword. "You know no one within the Church would dare oppose Rhea–"

I interrupted her empty tyrade, pushing her to listen, for once. "The cult you sought aid from is no better than the worst of the Church of Seiros– they have committed trespasses wholly as unjust as Rhea– and whether or not your pretty hands are responsible, your allies murdered my father, and by your reasoning, I have every right to consider you my enemy."

The ambition burning in Edelgard's violet gaze cooled slightly then, as if it had been a long time, or maybe the first time, she'd ever considered her own involvement in Jeralt's end, and what that might mean to me. Before she could recover, I pressed on. "And if you think true meritocracy– the kind of which you preach– is attainable even in your perfect world free of titles, then you are truly a fool not fit to lead a pack of feral cats, let alone a country of living breathing people!"

Edelgard's expression fretted, maybe in confusion, or distress, I couldn't tell; before hardening again, and her other hand came to brace her dominant at her weapon. I smirked, glancing over her shoulder at Hubert, who was regarding us both nervously, but mostly her– as if he was more afraid of what she might do. She pointed her sword at me, threatening, calling out into the air around us, "If you are my enemy, then you have only one choice. Join me or die, Professor. This will be your final chance."

I held my own sword to hers at the ready, narrowing my eyes at her, full of spite. I could have said something noble, but I prodded her instead, because something sick within me believed she deserved it. "If I bow to you, are you going to set me on fire?"

I expected her expression to crack, or wilt, but something inside myself wilted when it didn't; and instead her gaze warped into something wholly different, almost demented. Edelgard's smile stretched so wide it almost showed teeth, and I thought she would try to look at Hubert, poke or involve him in some way, but she didn't. She just blinked twice, and it would have seemed sweet out of context, but the words out of her mouth oozed with anything but bonhomie. "Only if you see fit to betray my trust, and lie with dirty mutants."

It took all of the mental function within me to continue seeing clearly, and indeed, all I could see was the smirk on Edelgard's face, so close to me– closer than she'd been in years. Finally, close enough to reach again, now that I knew what I wanted to do with her. I wasn't sure if the sound I was hearing was a ringing in my ears, my own voice, or even someone else's, as I sprang forward, unleashing my acute fury on the woman in front of me. Her sword caught the links of the Creator, and it wrapped around her weapon with a shearing sound– our faces were so close I could see little beads of sweat forming at her hairline. I was sure I heard myself screaming then as I reared back, almost dislocating my shoulder with the force it took to withdraw the teeth of my sword from hers, and before she'd had time to even brace herself I whipped it out again, harder than ever– with more power and intent than had been behind any swing that came before it– and time seemed to slow down as I watched the Creator's ragged tines branch and stretch out away from me, closing the distance between us with supernatural speed. I began hearing an urgent hum over my screams that I didn't have time to register was Sothis, and by the moment I did it was too late to rear my arm back. Hubert had moved to push Edelgard to the side, away from my blade's trajectory, and I felt more anger swell within me as one, two, then three of the Creator's teeth tore through the sleeve of his robe, almost eradicating the garment around the point of impact, and leaving a large, angry gash in its wake. I dropped the thing as soon as it happened, as if that could somehow reverse what had already come to pass. Time still felt as if it were oozing aroumd me like honey, and I happened to notice more scars; more burns and melted skin along the entirety of his exposed arm– now further marred by rivulets of dark blood. His acrid eyes caught mine and held something like an apology before they closed tightly– his free hand immediately wrapping itself over his wound as he fell to the side.

I could see nothing but white, nothing but my white, hot fury for Edelgard, for everything she'd done. Everything she'd done to me, to Hubert, to everyone she knew...I was consumed with the compulsion to make her pay for all of it in that moment. Crying out again, like an animal, I charged toward Edelgard where she had been stumbled by Hubert– she had barely regained her balance in her red, weighty attire– and with two hands and all my might I shoved Edelgard down into the pit where the stone steps of the Goddess Tower spawned from. Her hands reached fore, and her voice rung out into the night– loud and melodic– as she fell, juxtaposed by the slapping thud of her body making its first impact with stairway below. I was able to see that she forcefully landed upon her hip and side that time, but I'd thrown her with so much momentum that she kept going beyond my scope of sight– there was another, sharper, but quieter noise as she made contact again– then there were several quieter scrapes and tumbling thuds before the noises ceased completely. 

I stood at the top of the steps, chest heaving, staring at the spot I had seen her fall, revelling in the sensation it brought me to show her pain; the memory of that crisp red cloak smattered against the damp, dusty bricks brought me a base sense of joy that had even myself feeling a little uncomfortable. When I realized this, I thought I heard Sothis again, but the time for her trying to tell me things tonight had passed; what could she possibly try to guide me to do now? I knew the fall wouldn't have killed Edie– she had always been my most resilient student on the battlefield– but the fact that I enjoyed knowing I had hurt her at all was worrying.

I realized Hubert had risen then, breathing heavily, and loudly. He had been able to seal away the immediate wounds my blade had caused, and came to grasp me in his arms, eyes wild. "What have you done?"

Assuming he'd only heard and not seen, I nodded down the silence of the stairwell, eyes glassy, whispering, "What I said I would five years ago."

He glanced after me, panicked, but I wouldn't let him go after her– not yet– and I grabbed his sallow face in both my hands, scars and all, whispering into the space between our mouths, "I would have never done this to you, Hubert. I can't believe you let her do this to you. You promised me!"

Seeming to forget the state Edelgard may or may not have been in, Hubert's face slackened into a grimace that made something inside me hurt, gaze somehow rendered deeper by the sadness pooling in his eyes. "I was too naive to know it back then, but by the time I gave you my word I would not let her destroy me, she had already begun. I'm so sorry, Beth. I have failed you. I fear it is too late for me to look back, now."

I found myself getting flustered– why did everything always have to be so final, with him? Nearly angry, I pressed my lips to his, kissing him fervently; I wasn't sure what had come over me, but I knew one thing that staggered me as soon as I accepted the reality of it– I didn't want him to leave. I had let him leave before, when we had been together earlier in the night, but I had known then that he would come back to me. At present, I had never been less sure I would be able to look upon his face again. Hubert's breath shuddered out of his chest when I pulled away, eyes glazed over, slightly, thin pout swollen from my advances. "There is no such thing as too late. We can end this war right here, tonight. We don't have to be on opposite sides of it anymore. I can help you Hubert, just _please_ stay with me!"

Hubert looked away quickly then, and I saw his shoulders heave. It took me too long to realize he was quietly crying, and the event had my pulse speeding up to the point I could almost feel it in my throat. I swallowed, mouth suddenly dry, "Hubert," I pressed him, trying to make him look at me– surely he couldn't say no to my eyes, surely they could plead him to his senses– but he only drew me so close to his body that I had no choice but to breathe deeply of his scent mingled with the blood on his robes, and the leather of his cloak. I had a sad thought that I should try to memorize it, then. Hubert's chest expanded and he breathed out a deep sigh of words into the space above my hair. "If I stay with you, who is going to help Edelgard? If there is no such thing as too late for me, then there is no such thing as too late for her. It is my responsibility to hold together whatever vestiges of humanity she has remaining."

I felt my heart harden, out of defense, or true apathy, I couldn't be sure. I didn't have to mull it over much longer, because noises started coming from the area of the space Dimitri had fallen when I defended myself from his mania. Both of us turned to him; he didn't appear to have moved, but I knew I had heard a cough, and a scuffle. I pulled away from Hubert, backing a few steps toward the other man, crossing my arms over my chest. "If you're leaving then go."

Hubert looked wounded, and I glanced back over my shoulder at the heap that was Dimitri, and then back to him, staring straight into his soul, letting the intent seep into my words. "If he wakes up and you two are still here, he will kill Edelgard with his bare hands, and I will not stop him this time."

Hubert frowned and it was somehow weary, sad, and disapproving all at once, as he too hazarded a glance at the former prince, who was continuing to audibly come around. "What will you do for him, in such a state? He was mad five years ago, and he looks like he's only become more mad, since his escape."

I wondered for the second time in my life if perhaps Hubert was jealous of Dimitri, because it seemed like he was trying to talk me out of going through what he had just said he felt was his duty to do for Edelgard. Still regarding him coldly, as I shut myself off from the imminent pain, I said, "I'll figure it out."

Dimitri began to rise, mumbling words I wasn't paying attention to. I watched Hubert turn, start moving down the steps with a flourish of his cloak, but he turned back to me before the shadows of the stairwell swallowed his form. He looked truly and painfully earnest when he said, "I do not trust that he will not hurt you."

Hubert's words echoed up at me, and I moved a few steps toward him, out of earshot of Dimitri, staring downward at what was left of him that I could see. "There is nothing he could do to hurt me that you have not already done." 

My gaze caught the ring glistening on his belt and it gave my soul a lurch– I couldn't look him in the eyes anymore– and we were out of time, anyways. He seemed to know this as well, because all he said was, "I love you, Beth. Nothing has the power to change that."

I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, not wanting to feel, but there were tears on their way, and I didn't want Hubert to see me weep for him, so I firmly uttered, "Leave."

I didn't get to see the look on his face before he disappeared, but I wasn't sure I could have handled it anyways. I only opened my eyes after I had turned, and my feet were already moving toward Dimitri, who had risen to his haunches, one hand at his knee, and the other feeling around the back of his head for injuries. He was murmuring to himself, confused, and I violently wiped the little trails away from my cheeks as I lowered myself to his level, cautiously. I regarded him more carefully now, eyes moving from his ragged, bloodstained armor and leathers, to his muddy cheeks and eyepatch. I didn't know how long he'd been at the monastery before I arrived, but I was pretty sure I had figured out why I hadn't run into any of the bandits or highwaymen I had been warned about milling the area. I wasn't sure how Hubert had missed him in his sweep of the place, but perhaps our time together had rendered it incomplete. Finally, Dimitri looked up, but not at me. He began glancing wildly around the keep of the tower, looking more confused and distraught by the moment. "Where is Edelgard, that demon? I know I heard her voice!"

He began trying to rise but I placed a hand firmly on his shoulder. He startled when I did so, seeming to see me there in front of him for the first time since my approach. I noticed his pallor had only worsened in the time he had been knocked out, and sweat was trickling past his temple and down his jawline. Calmly, I said, "She's not here, Dimitri. No one is here but us. You were dreaming."

I knew it was a lie, but it was a necessary one. In reality, Hubert and Edelgard could still have been making their escape, or they could have already used magic to warp space and been miles away already– it didn't matter. He couldn't know that they had been there, at least not in his current state. His one watered down blue eye was still darting about nervously, and I tenitively reached out my other hand to rest it upon his forehead. He seemed to instinctively lean into my touch, and his skin felt burning hot, and clammy beneath my own. He whimpered slightly when I withdrew my hand, and I thought he might collapse, but he just stayed there, suspended by my touch on his shoulder. "Dimitri, you have a fever. I need to get you to somewhere you can rest. If I help you, can you stand?"

His gaze was empty then, and he nodded shakily, seeming to realize we two were the only ones there, and that I wasn't trying to harm him. I only hoped this refreshing lucidity lasted at least long enough for me to get him comfortable and sleeping. As I helped him to his feet with a sprawling arm over my shoulder, I realized Hubert hadn't been the only one who had filled out in our years apart– Dimitri's form felt heavy, and solid as stone against mine as I carefully helped him navigate the steps down from the tower. I wondered how many lives had paid for his new body, why Dedue had to give his up in order to free him, what had happened to his eye– so many new things to busy my mind with, other than dealing with looming absence of the one person I wanted to still be by my side more than anyone.


	11. Azure Prince

I didn't have much time to consider where to take Dimitri– he had begun to stumble before we even made it to the rickety rope bridge separating us from the rest of the grounds– and I myself had to stop and lean us both against the outer walls of the reception hall to catch my breath. Dimitri's own breathing was haggard and inconsistent, and I decided we would go to the common dorms and find a room to hole up in, as they were the closest structures to us most likely to still have beds and clothing.

Though a few of the dorms appeared damaged as we approached, I was happy to see the door to my own open and unobstructed. I let out a grunt with the struggle it took to get my large companion through the door, and relief washed through my limbs and mind when I was able to get him sitting in a large heap on my bed. He seemed stable enough with his head down and hands on his knees, so I had a chance to look around the room. My desk remained, but the drawers stood empty, some broken– and my closet door was also ajar, with most everything but a few items of clothing removed from it. There were leaves and other detritus all over the floor, but at least the bed still stood, though no blankets or pillows remained. Deciding a few things at once, I lowered myself to Dimitri, gently taking his face in my hand so he would look at me. It didn't work– he stared into the space over my shoulder– gaze fully void, so I just said, "I'm going to go get you some water, and fresh clothes. Please rest, and don't leave this room."

He blinked twice but didn't respond, so I left it at that, hoping he would heed my words, and headed toward my errands. First, the closest well outside the mess hall for what I hoped was still clean water, then Raphael's room– to see if the broad-breasted student had left anything behind for Dimitri to comfortably rest in. Even if all of my garments had been where I left them five years ago, none of them would come close to suiting his hulking frame. After verifying the water by the mess-hall well was drinkable, I was able to find a blanket, a few tunics, some bedding, and a pair of threadbare trousers for Dimitri among Raphael's things, before returning with quite full arms to my dorm. I cautiously approached the door, setting the bucket down quietly, then leaning forward slightly to peer into the darkness that was once my living space. Dimitri was still slouching on my bed, where I had left him. I remained silent and still when I noticed he was muttering softly to himself, voice gravelly and low; I couldn't quite make any of it out, so I eased myself closer. "It must be done in order to set you all free. I will end this, for everyone, _I can end this._ "

A wooden floorboard creaked as I shifted my weight trying to lay down the remaining items I was carrying, and Dimitri was on his feet before I could say it was just me. He lunged for me, screaming, "Away from here demon," but was heavier on his feet than when he was healthy, and I was able to sidestep him with reletive ease. The raving former prince crashed into my closet door, knocking it into itself with a crack, and reflexively I went to kneel at his side where he tumbled. I was hesitant to touch him, accounting for how many times that had gone badly for me recently, but my heart nearly melted when I heard him whimper out a low, ambling cry, like a cub calling for its mother. As always, he seemed to be suffering some terminal, meandering pain no one around him could fully discern, even me, with my fractured personality, and bubbling issues with blind, soul-numbing rage that had been born of and were ramping up in the wake of my merge with Sothis.

I lowered my hand softly into his hair, thick with dirt, and was pleasantly surprised when he didn't recoil, or lash out. Encouraged, I quietly called his name to him. He sobbed again in response, but he didn't move or even raise his head off of the ground to look at me. His broad chest rose and fell in the darkness as he exhaled deeply, projecting dust and detritus around. I decided to slowly lift his head into my lap and he let me, face settling toward the wall, shoulders dead weight against my kneew. We breathed together quietly for a few moments, and I continued moving my fingers against his scalp, hoping to soothe him. When I thought he had calmed again, I asked, "Dimitri, can you stand? It's really important for you some water and clean clothes so we can get some rest."

I didn't think he would answer me, and for a long time he didn't, but after another heavy sigh, voice nasally and low, he said, "Yes, I can stand."

He began unfolding his long body slowly, and I rose hastily in case he needed any help with balance on his way up. He loomed over me then, cerulean eye open and surprisingly calm looking as it found my own. He seemed oddly lucid as he began removing his heavy fur cloak, and it fell to the floor with a loud, leathery thud. I had to stop my memory from seeing Hubert's large, dark coat there instead, but it didn't fully work, and I still felt the brilliant sting of rejection and remorse once more.

I reached out to help when Dimitri winced in pain trying to be rid of some accoutrements, but he held a large hand out, fingers splayed, to stop me from intervening. "Please, I am more than capable of undressing myself–" Dimitri faltered, stumbling onto the bed, and I only just stopped from trying to assist him in righting himself. It took him mere moments to do so, and wordlessly, his fingers continued their work. 

I went to the pile of things I had gathered from campus, offering him some privacy as I cursed myself when I realized I didn't have a receptacle for the water I had brought, other than the bucket. I myself was exhausted nearly to tears, and really didn't want to go back to the mess hall, or searching through any more rooms for a cup. I inhaled sharply when I felt the warmth from Dimitri's body right behind, but not quite touching me, and spun around slowly. It took me only an instant to deeply regret doing so, because one of two things happened; one, I felt a searing pang of empathy for the former prince, because I thought losing his eye was the worst thing that could have befallen him physically, but I was wrong– the lean bulk of his swollen muscles and body were peppered with burns, bruises, stitches, scars– mounds of flesh marred by torture and combat. Secondly, while not entirely what I would call, "my type," when he was attending Garreg Mach Monastery all those years ago, something about this entirely new, entirely broken man in front of me stirred in a place only Hubert had touched recently, and I abided the sinking realization that I found Dimitri Blaiddyd _desperately_ attractive. That annoying fact was...probably going to complicate things.

Like Hubert, he had grown into his frame, his features had sharpened, or broadened, and matured all over. His long, honey waves fell full and thick over his brows, eyepatch, ears, and I happened to notice a small lock curling into his mouth innocuously. Without thought I reached up, fingers moving it away from his full lips, brushing his cheek slightly as I placed it neatly behind one ear. Shuddering, Dimitri's hand found my wrist before it could return to my side, and he pulled me gently closer to him. I closed my eyes, breathing deeply, had almost convinced myself not to think about how nice his scent was; grime, sweat, and all, before I remembered how desperately _naked_ the prince was also. I flushed completely, refusing to glimpse at what lingered in my lower periphery. Murmering quickly again that Dimitri needed fluids and rest or he would continue collapsing, he closed the space between our bodies by curling his other arm around my back, saying, "I saw you, Byleth. Alone, in a stinking Adrestian dungeon beneath Edelgard's wretched boots. When I wanted to end it all, when I stopped believing anything would ever come to answer my prayers, I saw your face. I witnessed you there with me so completely."

I inhaled sharply, frowning in confusion, trying to ignore how nice it felt to be so close to him. His hand was still holding one of mine immobile, but they had both come to rest atop a crisscrossing field of scarring on his breast. His heart beat twice against my fingers, hard, and I found myself lost in what was left his piercing gaze. "I thought surely you had arrived to deliver me then, that you were of the Goddess, as Rhea said...but you did not come to my rescue. Nor did anyone, save Dedue."

I was having a hard time understanding how Dimitri had also seen me in that strange dream of him during my long slumber, and once again I was sorry for the void-like absence of Dedue from his lord's orbit– Dimitri was wholly in need of his balancing guidance, more currently than probably ever.

My voice feebly chittered out when I said, "I am so sorry I disappointed you, Dimitri. If I could have saved you, or Dedue, or rendered either of you any aid while I was...gone, I would have done so gladly."

He blinked, as if what I had just said wasn't something he had already considered. His body language seemed to shift then, and he grasped my hand in his tightly, his eye shimmering in the dim light. Breathlessly, he whispered, "Do you truly mean that?"

His face was a mask wholly beyond my ability to read, but all I could do was nod, because what I had said was true. If I could have done anything more than float aimlessly, helplessly, through the ether for a half-decade, could have done anything to stop what Edelgard had created, it would have been my only priority. Dimitri seemed to sense my sincerity, because he drew me closer still with his arm at my back, and leaned down to capture my lips with his own. My body froze into his unexpected touch, only melting into him a little further as he moved to open my mouth with his tongue, making soft, frantic little noises. I was doing my best to ignore the daunting implication that was the faint throbbing of his exposed manhood against my upper thigh. Dimitri's long, weighty fingers pressed at the small of my back, wandering lower, along my sides, exploring the skin left exposed by my dress. I found my own hands began to move curiously as well, touching the former prince in ways I truly hadn't dreamed of before, and finding that I enjoyed it just as much as I may have thought I would, if I had given him a second thought in the past. I could feel Dimitri's brute strength writhing under the surface of his marred skin, tightly stretched over all of that dangerous muscle, and it made me wonder how it would feel for them to be utilized in other ways.

I wasn't so terribly surprised as I ought to have been, that those lips held nothing of the noble softness they might have in his younger days; like Hubert's when he kissed me for the first time, in the Goddess Tower. Sothis began murmuring something low, far away in the back of my skull and it brought me pause; or maybe it was my own independant rememberance of Hubert's nimble touch, and how far away I was from ever feeling it again. Pulling back gently, I came to cup Dimitri's face, but he wouldn't look at me, he merely began kissing and nuzzling at each finger on one hand. "I don't think either of us are in the right mind to do this right now, Dimitri. We should rest."

Pausing to glance at my hand for a moment, he lay a faint kiss on my smallest finger. "I've no room left for rightmindedness, and I will only rest once Edelgard, and every other rat in this world has been destroyed. Even then I only wish for the respite of death."

I tried to touch his face again but he evaded my fingers, arms falling away from my body to his sides. "You shouldn't say things like that, Dimitri. I don't claim to know what the last five years have been like for you, or anyone, but know this, I will find a way out of this mess, and Edelgard will pay for what she's done in spades, you have my word on that."

Dimitri looked something other than dehydrated and despondent for a moment, in fact his whole face seemed to light up in a sick way when he said, "What you meant to say is Edelgard will die. Only through death can she be forgiven, after all that has transpired by her hand."

Despite every previous compulsion I'd harbored to the opposite effect, especially more recently, I found myself disagreeing, "Edelgard doesn't deserve to die, she deserves to suffer the consequences of her egregious mistakes."

I hardly believed the mechanics of that sentiment were likely; I was fully aware with Edelgard Von Hresvelg it would come down to either living or dying for her ideals. The time for inbetweens with her was long past, may have never even existed, but I knew that Dimitri's burning hatred for her wasn't what needed to be fueling the fire of this resistance, however ill-conceived it may have been. A deep chuckle rumbled out of Dimitri's chest. "I have been right from the start."

Before I could ask what the hell he was so confidently and nakedly asserting correctness upon, Dimitri's voice echoed loudly off of the walls of the small space again, startling me with their volume. "I KNEW YOU WERE WORKING FOR THE EMPIRE! Everything in the Holy Tomb _was_ a ruse, I knew it to be true!"

Backing away from me, Dimitri bumped into my desk, seeming to be looking for something to wield, luckily all of our weapons were locked in the room next door; I didn't trust him not to hurt himself in my short absence. I tried to calm him, "That's not true Dimitri!"

_"LIES!"_

He cried out, lunging for me again, but I wasn't going to get hurt eggshelling his fragile ego, or state of mind even one more time if I could help it. I jutted my knee into his lower chest hard, knocking the wind out of him. He growled, clutching himself as he crumpled downward to his knees. "You think you feel betrayed by Edie's lies, Dimitri? Congratulations, and welcome to an exponentially popular club."

I was getting flustered remembering the events at the Holy Tomb, Edelgard's revelation, Hubert's stinging betrayal; how he would barely look at me. Radicalized by my innermost turmoil, I went on without filter, "I was their teacher Dimitri, I trusted Edie and Hubert with my life. I helped tighten and develop the skills they are now using to terrorize entire countries, to murder and incarcerate innocent people, and you want to speak to me about hating what that woman has become, about how _you_ have proprietary claim to being victimized by her? About how only you deserve to personally execute her demise? _And_ you have the unmitigated gall to accuse me of being her compatriot?! _They broke my heart that day, Dimitri."_

My face was flushed, my head had started to hurt for the first time since I merged with Sothis, and I had started furiously gesturing at the former prince, still floorbound, entertaining my tyrade for some reason. Shaking, I dropped my hands. I knew if I went on, I would end up saying something that needn't be said, so I just quieted after whispering, "My heart is broken."

Dimitri wasn't looking at me very kindly, but he nodded as he slowly rose back up onto his feet, as if he at least understood that I wasn't interested in doing Edelgard any favors, even if I wasn't willing or psychotic enough to believe chasing her down immediately and murdering her was the solution. No, all of our problems were a little more complicated then. Continuing to stare blankly ahead, Dimitri spoke slowly, with thinly veiled undertones of suspicion. "While it is true Dedue never claimed to know the exact identity of whom it was you were sneaking around with during your tenure at Garreg Mach, he was certain that you were colluding with someone. I trusted Dedue with my very existence, and know the honor of his word to be without question. So if it was no one of influence to the Empire, as you claimed at the Holy Tomb, who was it?"

My stomach dropped, grimacing horribly at Dimitri while he smirked away, still inexplicably and maniacally confident. Perhaps one day the torn former prince could process the truth, but I knew in this state there was no way I would be able to convince Dimitri that I'd had such an intimate, drawn out affair with Hubert and not known of his true nature, but I was struggling to think of anyone less damning or as believable to name; Jeritza had been long gone by the time I and Hubert became enthralled. Finally, one came to mind. With full knowledge that I would probably have to deal with some awkward repurcussions later, I spat, "It was Linhardt!"

If Dimitri's jaw could have fallen off and hit the floor beneath us, it would have. The smirk had fled and was replaced by a look of near incredulity, which I found a little insulting to both myself and Linhardt. I pressed on, "Not that it has ever been any of your business who I spend my personal time with, and by the way I'm not exactly thrilled you and your little bosom buddy were spying on me my entire career, it was Lin, okay? Lin and I were having a harmless affair."

Dimitri's mouth had finally closed, sandy waves shaking around his head as he murmured, "So Dedue's theory was correct, I suppose."

I almost did a double take at that, but managed to keep my poker face secured. I played into Dimitri's hand further, leading him as far away from the truth as possible. "I'm assuming he saw us together in the courtyard the night of the banquet. When you made your cute little toast."

I narrowed my eyes at him, remembering how disingenuous all of our interactions back then had been. It took me a moment to realize that if I had cared about him more, that might have hurt me as much as losing Edie and Hubert had. Luckily, he hadn't gotten his hooks in my heart quickly or deeply enough. I frowned harder, and surprisingly Dimitri's resolve seemed to falter, but not enough to appear even the slightest bit apologetic for anything he'd done. Crossing his arms, he seemed to be talking down as if I couldn't possibly understand the true, masterful nature of his motives when he said, "I did what needed to be done to uncover Edelgard's lies."

I'd had enough of Dimitri's new attitude for one evening, and grabbing some of the bedding I had brought with me, I headed for the door before turning around and pointing accusingly toward the man taking up space in my room. "Seems to me that 'what needed to be done,' failed then, because as I remember events, it took Edie revealing herself to us all in a grand gesture for you to see past whatever it is you feel for her, and finally act."

For the first time since reuniting with Dimitri, I saw regret pass over him, contorting his features. Not sorrow, or rage, or mania, but true remorse. It seemed I had hit a nerve, but I wasn't interested in protecting his feelings anymore at that particular moment, and I went on, voice becoming strained, "And you mussed that up for everyone as well, didn't you? You truly are feeble of mind if you believe the solution to the problems Edelgard faced us with that day was the senseless murder you caused, and intended to cause. I will have no more of your disrespect this night. I am going to get some rest in another room. Sleep, or don't, I do not care, but don't even think about leaving these grounds, because you will never see your lance again if you do."


	12. New Dawn, Old Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Sorry it's been so long but happy I've felt well enough to write again, and am actively working this series along with a few other things currently, so expect some more frequent updates, for now. To all longtime fans of my work, I thank you deeply for sticking around– your comments and kudos keep me going.

Settling against one wall in what I remembered was Dedue's old bedroom, I hazarded a glance at the heap of sharp objects I had brought in before getting clothes for Dimitri earlier, and sighed. I had no idea why I had tried to use the thought of going weaponless against a madman; of course I realized it was entirely possible he might go rummaging around to arm himself elsewhere and run off with whatever he found, but I had some deep inner feeling, perhaps from Sothis, that what I had said would have my desired effect, in spite of my current lack of understanding. Ultimately, I was hoping his exhaustion would outweigh his psychosis for a little while and he would just get some damned rest, like I planned to. How ironic that I shouldn't have the strength to deal with his petulance after sleeping for so many years, but alas, everything that had transpired in the hours I was recently awake had been a heavy drain.

I tossed for a while before I was granted the reprieve of slumber, and only when I awoke in a cold sweat did I feel torment once more. I had been with Hubert again, and it all felt so real, so indulgent. Wrapped in sheets together in the etenity of my subconcious mind, the feeling of his hands and lips on my skin, of his soul melding with mine via our bodies, and it all disappeared just as surely as it had the first morning we made love; with a hammering at the door, albeit a different one.

Still fully clothed for once, I reafixed my sword to my person and opened the door bleary-eyed, expecting Dimitri Blaiddyd. What I found, or rather whom I found, was entirely different. A nearly unrecognizable Petra looking more a warrior than ever, almost swept me off of my feet with the strength of her embrace. My arms wound tightly around her as she exclaimed my name, and in my surprise I gazed over over her shoulder to try and place the other faces that had come. Bernadetta was there, her hair was also longer but mot much else had changed, she still looked to be the mousy beauty she always had been, and stood with both hands demurely covering her mouth. Next to her was Caspar, who turned from my view to hide the fact that there was moisture welling in his eyes. I could scarcely believe after everything that had transpired that I might dream of seeing any of them alive again, and before I knew what was happening my knees buckled beneath me.

Luckily Petra was quick to correct my imbalance before I fell, and the entire group grew closer in concern. "Professor Byleth! Are you having an emergency?"

I was feeling a little nauseous, clammy sweat forming along my scalp, but I swallowed all of my discomfort down and embraced Petra again, a little more weakly. "No, no, I just...had a long night. I can't believe this is what I'm waking up to!"

Caspar piped up, "We said we would all come back, and we figured...well, we all promised, remember?"

I remembered that night vividly of course, but still; I had been missing all this time, did they really all risk so much coming here on the chance that I might somehow have come back? Bernadetta pounced on Petra and I, quickly squeezing us with more strength I would have assumed she could amass, before stepping back and away from the group once more. "I'm so glad you're alive, Professor. Everyone was..."

Bernie glanced around before finishing in an awkward rush of breath, "We were all very worried about you."

I smiled at her, reaching out to pat her shoulder gently. "I was very worried about all of you, too."

Though I hadn't felt much during my long rest, every waking moment not otherwise occupied by Hubert, Edelgard, or Dimitri had been utilized fretting over the collective futures of everyone else from academy I had grown close to.

"Beth?!" There was frantic ruslting behind us, and I turned a little slower than I would have liked to see two adult men I could just hardly realize to be Ferdinand and Linhardt, the latter of which had called to me. My chest seized when I saw my former close friend so grown, taller and somehow more lithe, with long emerald locks that fell in an elegant sheet down his narrow shoulders. A hand flew to my mouth as I took in how impossibly long Ferdinand's hair had become, and before I knew it I was sequestered again in arms; but happily so for all of it. I melted into Linhardt's dark robes and the feeling of being surrounded, being held and worried over by friends. A sob tore out of my throat befofe I could stop myself, and like a floodgate opening I began crying uncontrollably there, in front of everyone.

Lin was holding on to me so tightly it almost hurt, but I didn't care, I just continued moistening his clothing with tears of joy and excitement. I could scarcely remember feeling so positively overwhelmed, and I truly couldn't control the burbling gasps coming out of me as I tried glancing around again, just to make sure everyone was real. "Where did you find her, is she hurt?"

Lin's low melodic voice sobered me, and I almost quieted my sobbing in time to answer, but Bernadetta beat me to it. "We were looking through the dorms and found her in Mr. Dedue's old room. She didn't seem injured, but we haven't checked...I'm sorry."

I was finally able to collect my thoughts and pull away from Linhardt, addressing them all in tear-logged, nasally tones. "I'm not injured, there's no need to be sorry, Bern."

Everyone looked relieved at those words, but I had a second, more worrying thought. "Wait, you checked all of the rooms? Did you check mine, next door? Did you find Dimitri?"

I searched Lin's eyes for answers– instead they all seemed to glance at one another nervously, but Ferdinand was the first to speak up, "We found evidence of recent struggle in several different areas. I...we had hoped we might find you here before anyone else, but after a clash with none other than Hubert von Vestra on the outskirts of the monastery yesterday, we didn't have high hopes. We made our way here as soon as we could do so safely."

Suddenly I recalled Hubert's words from early in the evening the day before. I loved my students and knew they possessed great individual power that had surely only grown in the time I had been absent, however, Hubert and Edelgard still occupied my mind as the two most deadly I had come to instruct. I didn't harbor the idea that they possessed the ability to overwhelm him. Leaving his old fellow classmates alive wasn't in he or Edelgard's best interest unless they had, or were willing to pledge loyalty to her, as they would certainly regroup and continue their search for me, ultimately rendering aid to my cause. Had Hubert really let them slip through his fingers for my benefit? The thought seemed daunting, but I didn't have time to mull it over, as all of us turned to hear noises and shouting out past the lake, close to the front gate. "Who else is with you?"

Ferdinand answered again as we all started moving toward the perceived commotion. "Dorothea and Ingrid held back when we headed out this morning, but Sylvain was searching the stables and Knight's Hall just before you were found."

Cursing silently, I picked up speed, hoping no one had stumbled upon Dimitri in his state with no buffer, especially Sylvain or Ingrid, but possessing the knowledge that such an event was likely.


End file.
